Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'I would say' to make your answer more fluent and natural. Also, correct the word 'roles' to 'rules' and use plural form consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence and then give a specific example of a rule.

例: Yes, there are several rules at my school since it is a public institution with many regulations. For example, all students must wear uniforms every day to maintain discipline and unity.

提案: Avoid filler sounds like 'uh' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Begin with a clear opinion and support it with reasons or examples. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: In my opinion, rules are essential for students because they help discipline us. Moreover, following rules prepares students for responsibilities in the future.

提案: Reduce the use of filler words and improve sentence clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples of the teacher's dedication.

例: Yes, I had a dedicated science teacher named Miss Hajra. She was strict about learning and regularly gave tests to help us improve. Additionally, she guided us on how to plan for our future careers.

提案: Try to avoid filler words and be more precise in your explanation. Use linking words to contrast ideas and give clear examples. Also, clarify your preference with reasons.

例: I prefer having more rules at school, provided they are reasonable. For example, a rule that boys and girls cannot sit together can be annoying and unfair. Therefore, rules should promote fairness and discipline.

提案: Avoid repetition and filler words to improve fluency. Provide a clear description of the teacher's strictness and explain why she was strict with specific examples.

例: Yes, I had a strict teacher named Miss Simran Jodh. She was short-tempered and enforced rules strictly, such as cutting boys' long hair to maintain discipline.

提案: Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect your reasons logically and provide specific explanations.

例: No, I would not like to work as a teacher in a rule-free school because teaching is already challenging for me. Moreover, without rules, students might become undisciplined, making it even harder to manage the class.

× Yeah, there are quite a lot of roles in our school as our school was public school, which has a lot of restrictions.

✓ Yeah, there are quite a lot of rules in our school as our school was a public school, which has a lot of restrictions.

The word 'roles' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'rules' because the context is about regulations, not positions or functions. Also, 'public school' needs an article 'a' before it. This correction improves clarity and grammatical accuracy.

× Uh, one of the rule was we have to, uh, wear dresses, uniforms, I would say.

✓ Uh, one of the rules was we had to, uh, wear dresses, uniforms, I would say.

The phrase 'one of the rule' is incorrect because 'one of the' must be followed by a plural noun, so 'rules' is correct. Also, 'was' should be followed by 'we had to' to maintain past tense consistency.

× In my opinion, I think UH rules are made for UH students which uh to discipline them and it's quite beneficial for students in for future purposes.

✓ In my opinion, I think rules are made for students to discipline them and they are quite beneficial for students for future purposes.

The phrase 'which uh to discipline them' is incorrect; it should be 'to discipline them' to express purpose. Also, 'it's' is better replaced with 'they are' to agree with plural 'rules'. Modal verbs are not directly involved but the sentence structure needed correction for clarity.

× She was really dedicated as she told me about how what to do in future.

✓ She was really dedicated as she told me about what to do in the future.

The phrase 'how what to do' is incorrect and redundant; it should be 'what to do'. Also, 'in future' should be 'in the future' to use the correct preposition and article.

× Well, I prefer to have more rules at school, but they should be reasonable. Uh, for instance, we had a rule that boys and girls can't sit together or talk.

✓ Well, I prefer to have more rules at school, but they should be reasonable. Uh, for instance, we had a rule that boys and girls couldn't sit together or talk.

The modal verb 'can't' should be in past tense 'couldn't' to match the past tense 'we had a rule'. This is a modal verb usage issue (ID 4) but also relates to tense consistency.

× Uh, sometimes it could be quite annoying and could be discriminating, which is not good.

✓ Uh, sometimes it could be quite annoying and could be discriminatory, which is not good.

The adjective 'discriminating' is incorrect here; the correct adjective is 'discriminatory' to describe something that causes discrimination.

× Yeah, I had, I have had a really strict teacher, her name was Simran Jodhma, uh, Miss Simran Jodh, uh, she was uh, really, uh, uh, short fused and she really, uh, uh, she used to cut people's hair when they were long, especially with boys and also.

✓ Yeah, I had, I have had a really strict teacher, her name was Simran Jodhma, uh, Miss Simran Jodh, uh, she was really short-tempered and she used to cut people's hair when it was long, especially boys'.

The phrase 'short fused' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'short-tempered'. Also, 'when they were long' is unclear; it should be 'when it was long' referring to hair. 'Especially with boys and also' is incomplete and corrected to 'especially boys'' to show possession of hair.

× No, I would never work as a teacher as uh, as it's quite difficult for me to teach something to uh anyone or even tell a story sometimes.

✓ No, I would never work as a teacher as it's quite difficult for me to teach anything to anyone or even tell a story sometimes.

The phrase 'teach something to anyone' is less natural than 'teach anything to anyone' in negative sentences. This improves the sentence's naturalness and correctness.

× And in Rule free school it would be really hard for a teacher to even stand because of the indisciplined students.

✓ And in a rule-free school, it would be really hard for a teacher to even stand because of the undisciplined students.

The phrase 'Rule free school' needs an article and hyphenation: 'a rule-free school'. Also, 'indisciplined' is less common; 'undisciplined' is the correct adjective. Adding commas improves readability.