Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more fluent and clear by avoiding filler words like 'umm' and 'uh'. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. For example, start by stating that there are rules, then explain two specific rules and their purposes.

例: Yes, there are several rules at my school. For example, students must wear uniforms, which promote a sense of discipline and unity. Additionally, mobile phones are not allowed during class to minimize distractions.

提案: Focus on expressing your ideas clearly and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect your points logically. Also, provide specific reasons or examples to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I believe students would benefit from having more rules because rules help develop dedication and discipline. For instance, strict rules about attendance encourage students to be punctual and responsible.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Provide specific examples of how the teacher was dedicated to make your answer more vivid and engaging.

例: Yes, I had a very dedicated math teacher at my school. She always prepared extra materials and patiently explained difficult concepts, which helped us understand the subject better.

提案: Make your answer more concise and clear by reducing filler words and repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific reasons for your preference.

例: I prefer having more rules at school because they teach us time management and punctuality. For example, rules about arriving on time help students develop discipline and responsibility.

提案: Clarify your sentences and avoid filler words. Use linking words to contrast the teacher's strictness with his positive qualities. Also, correct word choice to improve clarity.

例: Yes, I had a strict English teacher who enforced rules about punctuality and homework. However, he was also very kind and well-behaved, which made the class enjoyable.

提案: Try to express your opinion clearly and provide reasons with supporting details. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically.

例: I would not like to work in a rule-free school because rules help teachers maintain order and guide students' behavior. Without rules, it would be difficult to create a productive learning environment.

× Yes, there are many rules for students at my school. For instance, umm, student should, uh, must aware, umm, uh, school uniforms, uh, which can show the dedication and discipline.

✓ Yes, there are many rules for students at my school. For instance, umm, students should, uh, be aware, umm, uh, of school uniforms, uh, which can show dedication and discipline.

The word 'student' should be plural 'students' to agree with the context of multiple students. Also, 'must aware' is incorrect; the correct form is 'be aware'. Additionally, 'aware' requires the preposition 'of' before the object.

× For instance, umm, student should, uh, must aware, umm, uh, school uniforms, uh, which can show the dedication and discipline.

✓ For instance, umm, students should be aware of school uniforms, which can show dedication and discipline.

Using both 'should' and 'must' together is redundant and incorrect. Choose one modal verb to express obligation. Here, 'should' is appropriate. Also, 'aware' needs the verb 'be' to form 'be aware'.

× For instance, umm, student should, uh, must aware, umm, uh, school uniforms, uh, which can show the dedication and discipline.

✓ For instance, umm, students should be aware of school uniforms, which can show dedication and discipline.

'Aware' is an adjective that requires the preposition 'of' before the object it refers to. Omitting 'of' is a preposition error.

× And obviously, uh, the strict rule is that mobile is not allowed in.

✓ And obviously, uh, the strict rule is that mobiles are not allowed in.

'Mobile' should be plural 'mobiles' because it refers to mobile phones in general. Also, the verb should agree in number: 'are' instead of 'is'.

× I estimate that student would benefit more from more rules because uh, rules can provide the sense of uh, umm, dedication, discipline and, uh, from roles.

✓ I estimate that students would benefit more from more rules because, uh, rules can provide a sense of, uh, umm, dedication, discipline, and, uh, order.

'Student' should be plural 'students' to match the subject. Also, 'from roles' seems incorrect; likely intended 'order' or 'rules'. Added 'a' before 'sense' for correct article usage.

× Uh, student can, uh, maintain that their life.

✓ Uh, students can, uh, maintain their lives.

'Maintain that their life' is incorrect. The phrase should be 'maintain their lives' without 'that'. Also, 'student' should be plural 'students'.

× Uh, so I think it should, it would benefit more roles.

✓ Uh, so I think it should, it would benefit more rules.

'Roles' is incorrect in this context; the intended word is 'rules'. This is a vocabulary choice but relates to plural form correctness.

× Yes, I have had a really dedicated teacher of from my school and she was my math teacher.

✓ Yes, I have had a really dedicated teacher from my school, and she was my math teacher.

The phrase 'of from' is incorrect; only 'from' is needed. This is a sentence structure issue but relates to clarity.

× She was really very dedicated person especially she she taught us lots of things and we learned a lots of things from.

✓ She was a really dedicated person, especially since she taught us lots of things and we learned a lot from her.

'Dedicated person' needs the article 'a'. 'A lots of things' is incorrect; correct form is 'a lot of things' or simply 'lots of things'. The sentence ending 'we learned a lots of things from' is incomplete; added 'from her' for clarity.

× I prefer to have, uh, move rules at school because by rule, uh, rules, we can learn, uh, how to manage our, uh, how to manage our time, especially about the punctuality and the dedication and discipline.

✓ I prefer to have, uh, more rules at school because by rules, uh, we can learn how to manage our time, especially regarding punctuality, dedication, and discipline.

'Move rules' should be 'more rules'. 'By rule, uh, rules' is redundant and confusing; simplified to 'by rules'. Removed repeated phrases and improved preposition use.

× Uh, so if uh, more roles will be added, it can help for student.

✓ Uh, so if, uh, more rules are added, it can help students.

'Roles' should be 'rules'. 'Help for student' is incorrect; correct form is 'help students'. Also, verb agreement corrected to 'are added'.

× Yes, I have had a realistic teacher of, umm, English, uh, he was uh, really strict about the rules, about the punctuality and uh, for the homework actually, otherwise, uh, he was a really well behavior, umm, teacher of our classes.

✓ Yes, I have had a strict English teacher. He was really strict about the rules, punctuality, and homework. Otherwise, he was a well-behaved teacher in our classes.

'Realistic teacher' is incorrect; likely meant 'strict teacher'. 'Well behavior' should be 'well-behaved'. Sentence structure improved for clarity.

× Uh, well, actually I would not like to work as a teacher in a rule free school because uh, umm, rules, uh, by rules, uh, student can, uh, be restricted by, uh, the teachers.

✓ Uh, well, actually I would not like to work as a teacher in a rule-free school because, uh, rules help teachers restrict students.

The phrase 'by rules, student can be restricted by the teachers' is awkward and unclear. Rephrased for clarity and correct modal verb usage. 'Student' changed to plural 'students'.

× Uh, well, actually I would not like to work as a teacher in a rule free school because uh, umm, rules, uh, by rules, uh, student can, uh, be restricted by, uh, the teachers.

✓ Uh, well, actually I would not like to work as a teacher in a rule-free school because, uh, rules help teachers restrict students.

'Student' should be plural 'students' to match the context. Also, 'rule free' should be hyphenated as 'rule-free' when used as an adjective.

× Uh, if a school, uh, will be rule free school, it will not.

✓ Uh, if a school is rule-free, it will not work well.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks clarity. Added 'work well' to complete the thought. Also, 'rule free school' should be 'rule-free school' with hyphenation and article usage corrected.