Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it could be improved by using more natural phrasing and linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, avoid redundancy such as 'each class' twice; instead, use 'every class' or 'all classes'.

例: Yes, at my university, students are required to dress appropriately and are not allowed to use smartphones during classes. Moreover, we must arrive before 10 AM for every class to ensure punctuality.

提案: Try to reduce filler words like 'umm' and 'uh' to sound more fluent. Also, clarify your ideas with better linking words and more precise vocabulary. For example, explain why too many rules might be counterproductive.

例: I think it depends on the student. For those who are self-disciplined, having too many rules might be counterproductive because it could encourage rebellion or reduce their motivation to follow guidelines.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use more precise vocabulary like 'dedicated' instead of 'hard working' and explain what made the teaching style professional. Also, link ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, in high school, I had a very dedicated math teacher who used a professional teaching style. Additionally, he designed many educational games that made learning more engaging for us.

提案: There is a mistake in your answer ('more girls' instead of 'more rules'). Also, avoid run-on sentences by using proper linking words and punctuation. Be clear and concise.

例: I personally prefer having more rules at school. Although some people think that rules can make students feel restricted, I firmly believe that they create a better learning environment.

提案: There are grammatical errors and confusion in pronouns. Use correct verb forms and pronouns, and clarify your ideas. Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence coherence.

例: Yes, I have a strict teacher who teaches discrete mathematics at my university. She requires all students, including me, to attend every workshop held on weekends.

提案: Avoid filler words and improve grammar, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural.

例: Definitely not. I imagine it would be very chaotic to teach in a school without any rules because without regulations, students might lack self-discipline.

× Yes, as a university student, we are asked to dress up properly and also we cannot use smartphone during each class.

✓ Yes, as university students, we are asked to dress up properly and also we cannot use smartphones during each class.

The subject 'we' is plural, so the noun 'student' should be pluralized to 'students' to match. Also, 'smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' because it refers to the general use by multiple students during classes.

× we cannot use smartphone during each class.

✓ we cannot use smartphones during each class.

The preposition 'during' is correctly used here, but the noun 'smartphone' should be plural as explained above. No preposition error here, so this is combined with the plural issue.

× In addition, we have to attend each class before 10 AM.

✓ In addition, we have to attend every class before 10 AM.

'Each' is acceptable but 'every' is more natural when referring to all classes collectively. No strict error but 'every' fits better in this context.

× For the students who are more self disciplined, umm, too many rules for them may be led to counterproductive outcomes.

✓ For students who are more self-disciplined, too many rules may lead to counterproductive outcomes for them.

'More self disciplined' should be hyphenated as 'self-disciplined' and 'may be led to' is incorrect; the correct form is 'may lead to'. Also, 'for the students' can be simplified to 'for students' for better flow.

× For example, they may uh, try to break the rules and do something bad.

✓ For example, they may try to break the rules and do something bad.

The filler words 'uh' and 'umm' are unnecessary in written form and should be omitted for clarity.

× Yes, when I was a high school student, I had made a very hard working math teacher.

✓ Yes, when I was a high school student, I had a very hardworking math teacher.

'Had made' is incorrect here because the student is referring to having a teacher, not creating one. The correct past tense verb is 'had'. Also, 'hard working' should be one word 'hardworking'.

× He always told me UMM with a very UMM professional teaching style.

✓ He always taught me with a very professional teaching style.

'Told me' is incorrect; the verb should be 'taught me' when referring to teaching. Also, filler words 'UMM' should be removed. 'Professional' is correctly used as an adjective here.

× In addition, he also designed many games for us to learn engagingly.

✓ In addition, he also designed many games for us to learn in an engaging way.

'Engagingly' is an adverb but is awkward here. The phrase 'in an engaging way' is more natural and clear.

× I personally prefer having more girls at school, although people may think they can make the students feel more restricted, but I firmly believe that having more rules can lead to a better environment for learning.

✓ I personally prefer having more rules at school, although people may think they can make the students feel more restricted, but I firmly believe that having more rules can lead to a better environment for learning.

The word 'girls' is incorrect in context; the student likely meant 'rules'. This is a singular/plural and word choice issue.

× Yes, I just met a teacher who teach discrete mathematics in our university and he is really restricted because she forced the students including me to attend every workshop he had held on weekends.

✓ Yes, I just met a teacher who teaches discrete mathematics at our university and he is really strict because he forced the students, including me, to attend every workshop he held on weekends.

Pronoun inconsistency: 'he' and 'she' are mixed incorrectly. The subject is 'he' so all pronouns should be 'he'. 'Teach' should be 'teaches' for third person singular. 'Restricted' is incorrect adjective; 'strict' is correct. 'Had held' is past perfect but simple past 'held' is sufficient here. Also, 'in our university' should be 'at our university'.

× Definitely no. I can imagine that how messy it would be if I teach in a real free school because umm, if there is no rules or regulation for them to follow, umm they may be lack of self-discipline.

✓ Definitely not. I can imagine how messy it would be if I taught in a truly free school because, if there are no rules or regulations for them to follow, they may lack self-discipline.

'Definitely no' should be 'Definitely not'. 'If I teach' should be past subjunctive 'if I taught' for hypothetical. 'No rules or regulation' should be plural 'no rules or regulations'. 'May be lack' is incorrect; correct is 'may lack'. Filler words 'umm' should be removed.