Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and fewer hesitations, and give one or two specific examples of rules. Use linking words (for example, also) to organize details.

例: Yes. At my high school we had a strict dress code: everyone wore a standard uniform and shoes, although the styles differed for boys and girls. In addition, the school strictly banned smoking, alcohol and drug use, so students who broke these rules faced detention or suspension.

提案: Give a clear opinion with specific reasons and one consequence. Avoid repetition and filler words; use linking words like because and therefore to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do. Rules help create a safe and focused learning environment because they limit distractions and clarify expectations. Therefore, students can concentrate better and develop discipline, which benefits their academic progress.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific example of one dedicated teacher, describing what they did and the positive effect. Avoid vague phrases and incorrect expressions like 'almost students left them'. Use linking words such as for example and as a result.

例: Yes. For example, my history teacher stayed after class to explain difficult topics and gave personalized feedback on essays. As a result, many students improved their grades and respected her commitment.

提案: State your preference clearly and support it with 1–2 focused reasons. Use correct grammar and concise phrasing; avoid filler words and repetition. Use linking phrases like however or if necessary to contrast ideas.

例: I prefer the current number of rules because they balance discipline and freedom. However, if a particular problem arises, introducing a targeted rule could protect students and improve school safety.

提案: Give a concise description of the teacher with one or two specific behaviours that show strictness and kindness. Correct grammar (past tense, subject–verb agreement) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like but and because to explain contrast.

例: Yes. My English teacher was strict—he insisted on punctuality and high standards for homework—but he was also kind because he offered extra help after class. Because of this combination, students respected him and learned a lot.

提案: State your position clearly and provide specific reasons and a short conclusion. Reduce fillers and emotional asides; use linking words such as because and therefore to structure your answer.

例: No, I would not. I believe a rule-free school would be chaotic and difficult to manage because students would lack clear boundaries. Therefore, I cannot see myself teaching effectively in that kind of environment.

× When I was in high school, we have to wear the same uniform and the same shoes, but it's a little bit diff.

✓ When I was in high school, we had to wear the same uniform and the same shoes, but there was a small difference.

The sentence refers to a past situation ('When I was in high school'), so present tense 'have to' is incorrect. Use past tense 'had to'. Also 'it's a little bit diff' is informal and mixes present; 'there was a small difference' matches past reference and is clearer. Suggestion: match verb tense to time frame and use complete words for clarity.

× It has a little difference, uh, between boys and girls.

✓ There was a small difference between boys and girls.

The original uses 'It has' which is awkward for describing differences and mixes present with past context. Use 'There was' to indicate existence of a difference in the past and place the preposition 'between' correctly. Suggestion: use 'there is/was a difference between A and B' for such comparisons.

× And then we have to avoid smoking and drinking alcohol, drinking, uh, you know, using drugs or something like that.

✓ We also had to avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

The original is repetitive and unstructured ('drinking alcohol, drinking'). It also mixes present tense with past context. Use parallel structure for the list ('avoid X, Y, and Z') and past tense 'had to'. Suggestion: keep list items parallel and consistent in tense.

× And we have to obey.

✓ And we had to obey the rules.

'Obey' is transitive and usually takes an object (what to obey). Also tense should be past: 'had to'. Adding 'the rules' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: include the object and match tense to context.

× Yeah, definitely, because rules are made to uh, you know, to set, to set the students in a good way.

✓ Yes, definitely, because rules are made to guide students in a positive way.

Original uses awkward repetition ('to set, to set') and 'set the students' is unnatural. Use 'made to guide students' which correctly expresses purpose. Modal usage is fine but wording improved. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose verbs that collocate naturally (guide, help, direct).

× So I think having, having the rules are good for students.

✓ So I think having rules is good for students.

There is unnecessary repetition and incorrect structure 'having the rules are'. Use 'having rules is' where the gerund phrase 'having rules' functions as the subject with singular verb 'is'. Suggestion: remove repetition and ensure subject-verb agreement with gerund phrases.

× Yes, there are a lot of teachers I loved.

✓ Yes, there were a lot of teachers I loved.

Tense should be past when referring to past experience: 'there were' rather than 'there are'. Also 'teachers I loved' is fine but matches past context. Suggestion: align verb to past time reference.'

× They are very dedicated and they have clear and strong intentions to their students.

✓ They were very dedicated and had clear and strong intentions toward their students.

Tense changed to past to match context. Use preposition 'toward' (or 'with') instead of 'to' when describing intentions directed at someone. Also simplify by removing redundant 'they'. Suggestion: use 'toward' for relationships or 'for' depending on nuance.

× So and then almost students left them.

✓ As a result, most students liked them.

'Almost students left them' is incorrect: 'almost' is misused and 'left' suggests abandonment. Likely intended meaning is 'most students liked them' or 'almost all students liked them.' Use 'most' or 'almost all' and appropriate verb 'liked'. Suggestion: choose correct quantifier and verb to convey intended meaning.

× I'm think so far they have enough rules, but if needed, they need to set new rules for the good of the students.

✓ I think they have enough rules so far, but if needed, they should set new rules for the good of the students.

'I'm think' is incorrect; use 'I think'. 'Have enough rules' is present—acceptable—but 'they need to set' is awkwardly repetitive; use modal 'should' for recommendation. Suggestion: use correct verb form after 'I' and prefer 'should' for advice.

× So, yeah. And I don't have, you know, umm, I don't have, uh, argument on, on that, on that statement, I would say.

✓ So, yeah. I don't have an argument against that statement, I would say.

Use the article 'an' before 'argument' and preposition 'against' rather than 'on' for opposing a statement. Remove repetition. Suggestion: use 'an argument against' to express lack of objection.

× Yes, I remember my English teacher, he has a grey hair and uh, he loves serious all the time.

✓ Yes, I remember my English teacher; he had grey hair and was serious all the time.

Past context requires past tense: 'had' and 'was'. 'Has a grey hair' is wrong: either 'has grey hair' (present) or 'had grey hair' (past). 'He loves serious' is ungrammatical; use 'was serious'. Suggestion: match tense and use correct adjective forms.

× But in reality, he is really, really kind to every students and clear, strong and clear and strong intentions to their students and make sure every students, uh, understand his lessons.

✓ But in reality, he was really kind to every student, had clear and strong intentions toward his students, and made sure every student understood his lessons.

Multiple issues: tense should be past ('was','had','made sure','understood'); 'every students' is wrong—use singular 'every student'; repetition 'clear and strong' duplicated; preposition 'toward'; subject-verb agreement 'made sure every student understood' (past). Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use 'every' with singular, avoid repetition, and ensure verbs agree with subject.

× That's why everyone loves him.

✓ That's why everyone loved him.

Context refers to past teacher, so change present 'loves' to past 'loved'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent throughout discussion of past events.

× But uh, because you know, uh, if a school with no rules, I think there will be umm, very unorganized and it is hard to control their students because of no rules.

✓ Because if a school had no rules, I think it would be very disorganized and it would be hard to control the students.

Conditional sentence requires past tense in the 'if' clause for a hypothetical: 'if a school had no rules' and modal 'would' in result clause. 'Very unorganized' is better as 'very disorganized'. 'Their students' is ambiguous; use 'the students'. Suggestion: use correct second conditional structure for hypothetical situations.

× So like, I don't think so. I don't see myself in working as a teacher and that's cool.

✓ So, I don't think so. I can't see myself working as a teacher, and that's fine.

'I don't see myself in working' is ungrammatical; correct is 'see myself working'. 'That's cool' is colloquial; 'that's fine' fits better. Suggestion: use 'see myself doing something' structure and choose appropriate register.