Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence, keep within 3–4 sentences, and give specific examples with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "dye their hair" not "draw") and finish your thought. Avoid vague endings.

例: Yes, my school has several strict rules. For example, students are not allowed to dye their hair unusual colors, and everyone must make their bed each morning; lights-out time is also enforced strictly. These rules make me uncomfortable because they limit personal expression and privacy.

提案: Good structure and clear opinion. Improve word choice and grammar, use linking words to compare groups, and give one brief reason or example for each group. Avoid absolute statements like "no ability"; use softer language.

例: I think it depends on students' age. For teenagers, stricter rules can help because they are still learning self-discipline, so clear boundaries reduce bad behavior. However, for university students more freedom is better since they are usually mature enough to manage their own responsibilities.

提案: Good content and personal detail. Improve grammar (subject-verb agreement, tense), remove filler words, and add a specific brief example of what she did to show dedication. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "for example".

例: Yes, definitely. One of my senior high English teachers was very dedicated; she was the main reason I fell in love with English. For example, she stayed after school and answered my questions by message at night and gave extra feedback on my essays.

提案: Clear opinion but refine phrasing and reduce repetition. Use concise reasons and one supporting example. Correct phrasing like "feel controlled" and "take responsibility for my behavior."

例: I prefer fewer rules because too many restrictions make me feel constantly controlled. As an adult, I want the freedom to manage my own behavior and learn from my mistakes.

提案: This answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors and odd phrases like "calling students" and "charts with us." Be concise: answer directly, give a clear example, and avoid repetition. Use correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., "contact students" or "checked on us").

例: Honestly, I have been lucky; most of my teachers are friendly rather than strict. For example, they often answer our questions by message after class and check in on our progress regularly.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, avoid repetition and contradictory phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, give a concise reason with one supporting detail, and use correct adjectives (e.g., "conservative").

例: No, I wouldn't. I am relatively conservative and not very outgoing, so I don't think I would be comfortable leading classes or managing students in a school, whether rules-free or very strict.

× There are several rules in my school, for example, students can't draw their hair, unusual colors, and each morning students must make their bed and over light out time is very strict.

✓ There are several rules at my school. For example, students can't dye their hair unusual colors, and every morning students must make their beds; the lights-out time is very strict.

Use 'at my school' (preposition for institutions) and 'dye their hair' (correct verb for changing hair color). 'Unusual colors' should follow the verb as an object phrase. 'Each morning' → 'every morning' and 'make their beds' uses plural agreement. 'Lights-out time' is the correct noun phrase; use a semicolon or separate sentence for clarity.

× All of that makes me uncomfortable because it lets.

✓ All of that makes me uncomfortable because it feels restrictive.

The original sentence ends with an incomplete clause 'it lets' which is ungrammatical. Replace with a complete expression 'it feels restrictive' to convey the intended meaning.

× It depends on the age of students.

✓ It depends on the students' age.

Use possessive 'students' age' or 'the age of the students' for natural English. Word order 'the age of students' is less natural without an article.

× For teenagers it is better to make strict rules to follow because they have no ability to control themselves.

✓ For teenagers it is better to make strict rules to follow because they often have little ability to control themselves.

The phrase 'have no ability' is absolute and unnatural; 'often have little ability' is more accurate. No verb agreement change needed but wording improved for correctness and nuance.

× But for university students it is completely no necessary because they can take responsibility for themselves.

✓ But for university students it is completely unnecessary because they can take responsibility for themselves.

Use the single-word adjective 'unnecessary' rather than 'no necessary'. 'Completely unnecessary' is the correct adverb + adjective order.

× Definitely yes, one of my English teacher in my Senior High School are really responsible and care for me.

✓ Definitely yes. One of my English teachers in my senior high school was really responsible and cared for me.

Use plural 'teachers' after 'one of'. 'Senior high school' should not be capitalized generally. Subject-verb agreement: 'one ... was' and past tense 'cared' since referring to past.

× Uh, she is the main reason why I fall in love with English and she taught me a lot of skills and even answer my question at night.

✓ She was the main reason I fell in love with English; she taught me many skills and even answered my questions at night.

Maintain past tense: 'fell' (past), 'taught' (past), 'answered' (past). Use plural 'questions' or 'my question' consistently and 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for formality.

× I prefer fewer rules because a lot of rules make me feel being controlled around the clock.

✓ I prefer fewer rules because many rules make me feel controlled around the clock.

Use 'many rules' rather than 'a lot of rules' for clarity; 'feel being controlled' is ungrammatical — use 'feel controlled'.

× As an adult, I want to control myself totally and I can take responsibility for my behaviors.

✓ As an adult, I want to be in control of myself and take responsibility for my behavior.

Use 'be in control of myself' or 'control myself' (both acceptable) and 'take responsibility for my behavior' (behavior is uncountable here; use singular).

× To be honest now I am very lucky that all of my teachers are very friendly and calling students.

✓ To be honest, I am very lucky that all of my teachers are very friendly and call students by name.

'Calling students' is incomplete. If intent is they call students by name, add 'by name' and use present simple 'call' for habitual action. Added comma after introductory phrase.

× For example, they even answered our questions by message at night and after classes.

✓ For example, they even answer our questions by message at night and after classes.

If describing a habitual action, use present simple 'answer'. Original used past 'answered' but context suggests habitual behavior; choose tense to match context.

× They always have. They always had charts with us.

✓ They always have charts showing our progress.

Original sentences are fragmented and unclear. Combine into a complete sentence clarifying 'have charts with us' -> 'have charts showing our progress' for meaning.

× No, because of my personality.

✓ No, because of my personality I would not like to.

Original fragment lacks clarity. Use modal 'would not like to' to express unwillingness.

× I am a person who are relatively conserved and less outgoing.

✓ I am a person who is relatively conservative and less outgoing.

Use singular verb 'is' to agree with singular 'person'. 'Conserved' is incorrect adjective; 'conservative' is appropriate.

× I'm not suitable to be a teacher, not not only in rural free but also the restricted schools.

✓ I'm not suitable to be a teacher, not only in relaxed, rule-free schools but also in strict, restrictive schools.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Not not only' is wrong. Clarify contrast between 'rule-free' and 'restricted' schools and correct word order.

× So yeah, I don't choose to want to.

✓ So yeah, I wouldn't choose to.

Original 'I don't choose to want to' is ungrammatical. Use 'I wouldn't choose to' or 'I don't want to' to express preference.