Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Giảm từ ngữ thừa và ngắt quãng (uh, like), sửa ngữ pháp số nhiều/đếm được (rule -> rules; student -> students) và sử dụng cấu trúc rõ ràng: câu chủ đề + chi tiết cụ thể. Nên dùng liên từ đơn giản để nối ý và tránh lỗi trật tự từ (e.g., “we are not allowed to use phones in class”).

例: Yes. There are several rules at my school. For example, students must wear a uniform every day, and we are not allowed to use phones in class so that everyone can concentrate on lessons.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh cách nói lộn xộn và dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng để bày tỏ ý kiến (e.g., start with a clear opinion). Sửa ngữ pháp (banned -> banning; student -> students) và đưa ví dụ cụ thể, giải thích rõ vì sao/như thế nào.

例: I don't think more rules are always beneficial. For instance, banning phones in class can prevent students from quickly looking up additional information related to the lesson, which may limit learning opportunities.

提案: Cải thiện: Dùng thì và collocation chính xác (dedicated teacher, hardworking, answer questions). Tránh lặp từ vô nghĩa và filler. Bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể về hành động của giáo viên để minh họa (ví dụ: trả lời kỹ lưỡng, giúp thêm sau giờ học).

例: Yes, my current homeroom teacher is very dedicated. She patiently answers every question we ask, often staying after class to explain difficult topics in more detail.

提案: Cải thiện: Trình bày ý kiến rõ ràng và súc tích; tránh lặp ý. Sửa ngữ pháp và chọn từ chính xác (reduce rules; students' ability to develop). Thêm lý do cụ thể, có thể nêu ví dụ ảnh hưởng tiêu cực của quá nhiều quy định.

例: I prefer fewer rules. Too many regulations can limit students' independence and creativity; for example, strict policies may stop students from trying new activities or solving problems on their own.

提案: Cải thiện: Sử dụng thì phù hợp khi kể việc trong quá khứ (did -> was; when I did something wrong). Tránh filler và hoàn thiện câu. Mô tả cụ thể hơn hành động của giáo viên và cảm nhận của mình về hiệu quả của phương pháp đó.

例: Yes, I had a very strict teacher in secondary school. When I did something wrong she would sometimes exclude me from class or make me do community tasks, such as cleaning, which made students more careful.

提案: Cải thiện: Trình bày ý tưởng mạch lạc: khẳng định muốn làm nghề giáo hay không, rồi giải thích lý do. Sửa ngữ pháp và từ vựng (rule-free school; chaotic; uncontrollable). Giới hạn độ dài câu và dùng liên từ để nối ý.

例: Being a teacher has always been my dream, but I would not want to work in a rule-free school. Without rules, students might do whatever they want, which could lead to chaos and make teaching very difficult.

× Ah yes, uh, there are quite a few rule over at my school.

✓ Ah yes, uh, there are quite a few rules over at my school.

The noun 'rule' is countable and plural is required after 'quite a few'. Use 'rules'. Suggestion: use plural with 'a few' and ensure subject and noun number agree.

× For example student like have to wear a uniform every day and we also not uh to use phone in the class to make us more concentrate on the classes.

✓ For example, students have to wear a uniform every day and we are also not allowed to use phones in class so we can concentrate more on the lessons.

Multiple issues: use plural 'students' (number agreement), 'have to' does not need 'like', verb phrase for prohibition should be 'are not allowed to', plural 'phones' fits general rule, preposition 'in class' is correct (not 'in the class'), and 'concentrate more on the lessons' is the correct collocation and word order. Suggestion: break into simpler clauses and use passive 'are not allowed to' for rules.

× Uh, well, I think it's not really, uh, for example, the rule that banned the phone in of using phone in the class can make student narrow themselves of finding more like, uh, interesting information about the lesson.

✓ Uh, well, I think it's not really helpful; for example, the rule that bans using phones in class can prevent students from finding more interesting information about the lesson.

Use present tense 'bans' for general rules, not 'banned'. 'Using phones' is the correct gerund phrase. 'Students' must be plural. 'Prevent from finding' is the correct collocation (not 'narrow themselves of finding'). Suggestion: use simple present for general truths and correct verb forms and collocations.

× Oh yes, of course it is my home teacher right now at my uh, high school.

✓ Oh yes, of course; it is my homeroom teacher at my high school right now.

Word order and phrasing: 'home teacher' is not idiomatic; 'homeroom teacher' is standard. Place 'at my high school' together and 'right now' at end or after verb. Suggestion: use common collocations and correct placement of time expressions.

× She has really dedicated and also hardworking of every like, uh, question that we asked her.

✓ She is really dedicated and also hardworking with every question that we ask her.

'Dedicated' and 'hardworking' are adjectives describing 'she' and should be used with 'is' not 'has'. Use 'with every question' to indicate how she responds. Use present tense 'ask' for habitual actions. Suggestion: use linking verb 'is' for adjectives and present simple for habitual actions.

× She answered uh, all for me without like, uh, mad or something.

✓ She answers all of our questions for us without getting angry or anything.

Use present simple for habitual behavior: 'answers'. 'Getting angry' is correct participle/gerund form to express 'become mad'. 'All of our questions' is clearer. Suggestion: express habitual actions in present simple and use correct participle/gerund forms.

× Oh well, as a student, I think that schools have to like, uh, reduce their rules a lot because I think that so many rules can like umm, decrease their student ability of, uh, self developing somehow.

✓ Oh well, as a student, I think that schools should reduce their rules a lot because too many rules can decrease students' ability to develop themselves.

Use 'students' (plural) and possessive 'students'' for 'ability'. 'Self developing' is incorrect; use 'develop themselves' or 'self-development'. Use modal 'should' rather than 'have to' when giving opinion. Suggestion: use possessive for students and correct noun forms for 'development'.

× Yes, I did. Uh, she is my, uh, secondary secondary school teacher and she was very strict, uh, when I do something wrong, she will like ban me from class or make me do like uh, community activities such as cleaning the toilet or.

✓ Yes, I did. Uh, she was my secondary school teacher and she was very strict; when I did something wrong, she would ban me from class or make me do community activities such as cleaning the toilets.

Tense consistency: past narrative requires past tense 'was' and 'did' and conditional 'would' for habitual past actions. Remove duplicate 'secondary'. Use plural 'toilets' and complete the list. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense when describing past experiences and avoid repetition.

× Oh well to be teacher is having been my dream and it is proof free school it is go crazy every student like do anything that they want so the school will be so messy and uncontrollable and everything is also really messed up.

✓ Oh well, to be a teacher has always been my dream, but if the school were totally rule-free it would be chaotic: every student would do whatever they wanted, so the school would become messy and uncontrollable.

Multiple issues: article 'a' before 'teacher', correct perfect/habitual expression 'has always been my dream', conditional structure for hypothetical 'if the school were... it would be...', correct modal 'would' and base verbs, and clearer vocabulary 'chaotic' instead of 'go crazy'. Suggestion: use proper articles, correct conditional sentences for hypothetical situations, and consistent verb forms.