Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence and then give two brief, specific examples. Correct grammar (e.g., tense and subject-verb agreement) and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes. When I was in middle school we had strict rules: everyone had to wear a school uniform, and students were not allowed to sleep in class. These rules aimed to keep discipline and a focused learning environment.

提案: Give a direct opinion with one clear reason and a brief specific explanation. Use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary (e.g., “self-expression” instead of “seeking the ego”). Avoid filler words like “Uh.”

例: No, I don't think more rules would help. Too many restrictions can limit students' self-expression and creativity, making them less motivated to participate in class.

提案: Answer directly and use precise description: ‘dedicated’ vs ‘harsh’ are different—clarify which you mean. Give one specific example of dedication (or explain the harshness) and use smoother grammar and linking words.

例: Yes, I have. My middle-school music teacher was very strict but also dedicated; for example, she held extra practice sessions after class to help students improve their performance.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and a brief example. Fix grammar: use 'fewer' and 'restrictions' plural forms correctly, and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: I prefer fewer rules. If students behave respectfully and avoid fighting, simpler rules are enough, and teachers can focus more on teaching than policing minor issues.

提案: Avoid contradiction: combine points into one coherent answer. Provide one concise example of strictness and explain its effect. Remove unnecessary commas and improve sentence flow.

例: Not really, although my middle-school music teacher was quite strict — she often singled out students who broke school rules, which made the class feel tense but improved discipline.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then one specific reason and a brief consequence. Correct grammar (e.g., 'basic regulations are essential' and 'clear guidelines'). Avoid vague phrases like 'real free school.'

例: No, I wouldn't. I believe basic regulations are essential to maintain safety and respect; without clear guidelines students might become disruptive and learning would suffer.

× There's a restriction that every student have to wear their school uniforms and they shouldn't sleep during the class.

✓ There was a rule that every student had to wear their school uniform and they shouldn't sleep during class.

The original uses 'There's' (there is) but context is past ('used to be when I was a middle school student'), so 'There was' fits. 'have to' should be past 'had to' to match past tense. 'school uniforms' should be singular 'school uniform' when referring to each student's uniform. 'during the class' is unidiomatic; use 'during class' or 'in class'. Suggestion: Maintain past tense consistency (was, had to) and use 'school uniform' and 'during class' for natural phrasing.

× I don't think the restrictions are beneficial for students because I think it keep students from seeking the ego themselves.

✓ I don't think the restrictions are beneficial for students because I think they keep students from developing their own sense of self.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'I think it keep' is incorrect; the subject 'it' is unclear and the verb should be 'keep' -> 'keeps' for singular, but the intended subject is 'restrictions' (plural) so use 'they keep'. Also 'seeking the ego themselves' is unnatural; 'developing their own sense of self' conveys the intended meaning clearly. Suggestion: Ensure pronoun refers clearly to a noun and that verb agrees (they keep). Use idiomatic phrasing.

× Yes I have. When I was in middle school my music teacher was so harsh person so she was always finding out the students who didn't take part in the regulations.

✓ Yes, I have. When I was in middle school my music teacher was a very harsh person, so she was always calling out students who didn't follow the rules.

Adjective use: 'was so harsh person' is ungrammatical; add an article and adverb: 'was a very harsh person'. 'finding out the students' is awkward; 'calling out students' or 'pointing out students' is appropriate. 'take part in the regulations' is incorrect collocation; use 'follow the rules' or 'obey the regulations'. Suggestion: Use correct article with countable noun ('a very harsh person') and choose natural verbs and collocations ('calling out students', 'follow the rules').

× I prefer less restrictions at school.

✓ I prefer fewer restrictions at school.

Count noun error: 'restrictions' is countable, so use 'fewer' not 'less'. Suggestion: Use 'fewer' with countable nouns and 'less' with uncountable nouns.

× As long as the students do not fight and respect each other, then the more restrictions are not required anymore.

✓ As long as the students do not fight and respect each other, more restrictions are not necessary.

'Then' is unnecessary after the conditional clause. 'The more restrictions are not required anymore' is awkward; use 'more restrictions are not necessary'. 'Anymore' is informal and redundant here. Suggestion: Omit 'then' after 'As long as' and use concise phrasing 'more restrictions are not necessary'.

× No, I don't want to work at a real free school because I think basic regulations is essentially required in school and unless there's a smaller guidelines then the students would not respect.

✓ No, I wouldn't want to work at a completely rule-free school because I think basic regulations are necessary, and without at least some guidelines students might not show respect.

Multiple structure errors: 'real free school' is awkward; 'completely rule-free school' is clearer. 'basic regulations is' should be plural agreement 'regulations are'. 'Unless there's a smaller guidelines' mixes singular and plural and uses incorrect adjective 'smaller' — use 'at least some guidelines'. 'then' after 'unless' is unnecessary. The final clause 'students would not respect' is incomplete; add object or rephrase to 'might not show respect'. Suggestion: Fix subject-verb agreement ('regulations are'), use correct quantifiers ('some guidelines'), avoid 'then' after 'unless', and complete the idea ('show respect').

× But when I was in middle school, the music teacher, she was always calling out the students who didn't take part in the school regulations.

✓ But when I was in middle school, my music teacher was always calling out students who didn't follow the school rules.

Redundant pronoun: 'the music teacher, she' repeats the subject unnecessarily; use one subject. 'take part in the school regulations' is unnatural; use 'follow the school rules'. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the subject with an extra pronoun and use natural collocations ('follow the school rules').