Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct pronunciation/errors, use a clear topic sentence then 1–2 supporting details with linking words. Avoid fillers (uh) and unclear phrases (e.g., 'skates, book', 'art lick my heart'). Aim for natural sentences and specific examples.

例: I enjoy reading and sketching in my free time. For example, I often paint landscapes in my sketchbook, which helps me relax, and I like reading autobiographies and occasionally fiction to learn about different life experiences.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about past hobbies and avoid grammatical errors (e.g., 'when I was a child', 'I loved riding bicycles'). Give specific details and use linking words like 'also' or 'in addition'. Remove redundancy.

例: Yes, I had a few hobbies as a child. For instance, I loved riding my bicycle with my brother early in the morning, and I also enjoyed watching documentaries on channels like National Geographic because I was curious about animals and nature.

提案: Be direct: answer the question clearly (yes/no) and explain briefly why, using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repeating 'maybe' and vague phrases. Offer a short future plan if relevant.

例: No, I don't have any hobbies that I have kept since childhood because I am currently very busy with work and studies. However, I hope to resume painting or reading regularly in the future when I have more free time.

提案: Answer directly and give a brief comparison. Fix grammar ('busy people', 'they don't have hobbies') and clarify phrases like 'sooth my mental stimulation'. Use a linking word to contrast (e.g., 'however').

例: No, my family and I don't share the same hobbies. They prefer relaxing and watching movies in their free time, whereas I enjoy painting on weekends because it helps me relax and stimulates my creativity.

× Yes, I do have some kind of hobbies.

✓ Yes, I have some hobbies.

'Some kind of' is awkward with plural 'hobbies'. Use 'some' for plural countable nouns. Also 'do have' is unnecessary; simple 'have' is natural. Suggestion: say 'I have some hobbies.'

× do artwork on my sketchbook.

✓ do artwork in my sketchbook.

Use the preposition 'in' with 'sketchbook' because artwork is created inside the pages. 'On' implies a surface rather than the pages of a book. Suggestion: 'I do artwork in my sketchbook.'

× I usually do, uh, scenery painting at my skates, book with art lick my heart.

✓ I usually do scenery painting in my sketchbook; art soothes my heart.

The original sentence has many errors: 'skates, book' seems to be 'sketchbook', so correct the noun and use 'in' (preposition). 'Scenery painting' is fine as a noun phrase. 'with art lick my heart' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'art soothes my heart.' Use a semicolon or conjunction to join related ideas. Suggestion: 'I usually do scenery painting in my sketchbook; art soothes my heart.'

× Whereas in the reading books, I love to read about autobiographies, uh, sometimes novels as well.

✓ When reading books, I love autobiographies and sometimes novels as well.

Use 'When' instead of 'Whereas' for contrast with previous idea. 'In the reading books' is unnatural; use 'When reading books'. Also remove 'to read about' and say 'I love autobiographies'. Suggestion: 'When reading books, I love autobiographies and sometimes novels as well.'

× Yes, I had hobbies when I was child.

✓ Yes, I had hobbies when I was a child.

The noun 'child' requires the article 'a' in this context: 'a child'. Suggestion: 'I had hobbies when I was a child.'

× The first one is I love writing bicycles.

✓ First, I loved riding bicycles.

'Writing bicycles' is a confusion of 'riding'. Also tense should match past context 'when I was a child', so use past tense 'loved' and 'riding'. Suggestion: 'First, I loved riding bicycles.'

× I used to ride bicycles with my brother early in the morning.

✓ I used to ride bicycles with my brother early in the morning.

This sentence is correct. It correctly uses 'used to' to describe a past habitual action. Suggestion: no change needed.

× But also I had the hobby as a watching TV.

✓ But I also had the hobby of watching TV.

Use 'the hobby of' followed by gerund 'watching TV'. 'a watching TV' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: 'But I also had the hobby of watching TV.'

× I love to watch documentaries especially Nat Geo and documentary on.

✓ I loved watching documentaries, especially those on Nat Geo.

In past context, use past 'loved' or keep present if referring generally. 'Documentary on' is incomplete; say 'those on Nat Geo' or name a topic. Also use gerund 'watching' after 'loved'. Suggestion: 'I loved watching documentaries, especially those on Nat Geo.'

× I can say that I don't have any kind of hobby that I've adopted with my childhood because of the fact that I am very busy right now.

✓ I can say that I don't have any hobby from my childhood because I am very busy right now.

'Any kind of hobby' is awkward; use 'any hobby'. 'Adopted with my childhood' is incorrect; use 'from my childhood' or 'since childhood'. 'Because of the fact that' is wordy; 'because' suffices. Suggestion: 'I don't have any hobby from my childhood because I am very busy right now.'

× I have to juggle between my work and my studies.

✓ I have to juggle my work and my studies.

'Juggle between' is redundant; 'juggle X and Y' is the correct pattern. The meaning is preserved by removing 'between'. Suggestion: 'I have to juggle my work and my studies.'

× So I don't get any much of my free time to do any kind of such activities.

✓ So I don't get much free time to do such activities.

'Any much' is incorrect; use 'much' for uncountable 'free time'. 'Any kind of such activities' is wordy; use 'such activities'. Suggestion: 'I don't get much free time to do such activities.'

× Maybe in the future, if I have time, maybe I will do some work.

✓ Maybe in the future, if I have time, I will do some of those activities.

'Do some work' is vague and conflicts with context about hobbies. Clarify that you will return to hobbies: 'do some of those activities'. Remove duplicate 'maybe'. Suggestion: 'Maybe in the future, if I have time, I will do some of those activities.'

× No, my family members are the ones who don't like to keep any hobbies.

✓ No, my family members are the kind of people who don't have hobbies.

'Keep hobbies' is unnatural; say 'have hobbies' or 'pursue hobbies'. 'Any hobbies' is okay but 'the ones who' is less natural than 'the kind of people who'. Suggestion: 'My family members are the kind of people who don't have hobbies.'

× They are a very busy people so they don't like to do anything besides resting and watching movies.

✓ They are very busy people, so they prefer resting and watching movies.

'A very busy people' is wrong because 'people' is plural; remove 'a'. 'Don't like to do anything besides' is wordy; 'prefer resting and watching movies' is more natural. Suggestion: 'They are very busy people, so they prefer resting and watching movies.'

× But I like to paint in my free time especially in the weekends through sooth my mental stimulation.

✓ But I like to paint in my free time, especially on weekends, because it soothes me mentally.

Use 'on weekends' (preposition) rather than 'in the weekends'. 'Through sooth my mental stimulation' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'because it soothes me mentally' or 'it soothes my mind.' Use 'soothes' with subject 'it' (painting) and adverb 'mentally'. Suggestion: 'I like to paint in my free time, especially on weekends, because it soothes me mentally.'