Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and present-tense when describing current situation. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your current hobby status, then give one brief past detail and one concise reason for not playing now using a linking word. Avoid redundancy and filler words.

例: I used to play guitar and was in a band that performed and entered competitions. However, I don't play much at the moment because I'm busy with homework and an internship, but I hope to practice again when I have free time.

提案: Use correct tense consistency and clearer structure: state the hobby, give a specific start age, and add one specific example of what you did, linked with a connective. Correct small grammar errors (use past simple or past continuous consistently).

例: Yes, I loved cycling as a child. I got my first bike when I was five and often rode around the neighborhood; for example, I sometimes rode to the shops to buy groceries for my family.

提案: Reduce fillers and be more specific about how the hobby influenced you. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons or effects using linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so'). Avoid vague words like 'sceneries'—use 'scenery' or specific sights.

例: Yes, I've watched travel vlogs since I was a child because they let me explore different countries and cultures from home. For example, they inspired me to learn about local food and landmarks, and they motivated me to plan trips of my own.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence then contrast your hobbies with family members' using linking words like 'however' or 'while'. Correct small grammar issues and avoid colloquial phrases like 'a big fan of' in formal test; be concise.

例: Not really. While my sister enjoys jogging and my parents love cooking and often prepare delicious meals, my sister and I aren't good at cooking, so we leave meal preparation to them.

× I played guitar throughout high school and college.

✓ I played the guitar throughout high school and college.

The sentence uses past tense correctly but is missing the definite article before a musical instrument. Use 'the' with instruments when referring to playing them in general context. Suggestion: say 'played the guitar'.

× I have a band which performed and sometimes entered competitions, but I haven't been playing guitar recently because I'm busy with my homework and my intern job.

✓ I had a band that performed and sometimes entered competitions, but I haven't been playing the guitar recently because I'm busy with my homework and my internship.

Mixed past references: 'I have a band' (present) conflicts with 'performed' (past). Use 'had' to match the past activity. Also use 'that' instead of 'which' for essential clause and 'the guitar' for the instrument. 'intern job' is non-idiomatic; use 'internship'. Suggestion: keep consistent tense and use standard collocations.

× Maybe I'll pick it up sometimes when I'm free.

✓ Maybe I'll pick it up sometime when I'm free.

'Sometimes' refers to frequency and is not idiomatic with a single future occasion. Use 'sometime' to mean 'at some time in the future'. Suggestion: replace 'sometimes' with 'sometime' for a future occasion.

× As long as I can remember I was a fan of cycling.

✓ As long as I can remember, I have been a fan of cycling.

Use present perfect ('have been') to describe a state that began in the past and continues to the present. The past simple 'was' implies it ended. Suggestion: use present perfect for ongoing states.

× I have my own bike since I was 5 and I would ride it around the neighborhood and sometimes buying groceries for my family.

✓ I have had my own bike since I was five, and I would ride it around the neighborhood and sometimes buy groceries for my family.

Use present perfect 'have had' for possession from past to present. Numbers in writing are better spelled out as 'five'. 'Sometimes buying' is a wrong verb form; after 'would' use the base form 'buy'. Suggestion: use 'have had' and 'buy'.

× Yes, I have enjoyed watching travel vlogs since I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed watching travel vlogs since I was a child.

This sentence is acceptable: present perfect 'have enjoyed' correctly indicates an action/state from the past to the present. No change needed. Explanation: keep present perfect for experiences continuing to now.

× I find them refreshing and surprising, umm, because I can explore different countries, sceneries, umm, landscape and culture from the videos.

✓ I find them refreshing and surprising because I can explore different countries, scenery, landscapes, and cultures from the videos.

'Scenery' is uncountable, so use 'scenery' not 'sceneries'; use plural 'landscapes' and 'cultures' to match 'different countries'. Remove filler 'umm' for clarity. Also add commas for list clarity. Suggestion: use correct countable/uncountable forms and pluralize where appropriate.

× And yeah, I think it's inspired me.

✓ And yeah, I think it has inspired me.

Use present perfect 'has inspired' (auxiliary 'has' + past participle) when referring to the effect of the videos on the speaker up to now. 'It's inspired me' is ambiguous and can be acceptable conversationally, but full form 'it has inspired me' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'it has inspired me' in formal speech.

× No, not really. My sister enjoys jogging in the park nearby, and my parents are a big fan of cooking and they both cook delicious dishes.

✓ No, not really. My sister enjoys jogging in the nearby park, and my parents are big fans of cooking; they both cook delicious dishes.

Agreement issue: 'parents' is plural so use 'big fans' not 'a big fan'. 'Park nearby' is better as 'nearby park' for natural word order. Suggestion: match quantifier to the plural noun and adjust word order.

× However, my sister and I were terrible at cooking, so we like to leave the preparation of meals to my parents.

✓ However, my sister and I have been terrible at cooking, so we like to leave the preparation of meals to our parents.

If being 'terrible at cooking' is a continuing state, use present perfect 'have been'. Also use 'our parents' for natural possessive reference. Suggestion: use present perfect for ongoing states and prefer 'our parents'.