Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите заполнители (uh, umm), говорите короче и стройте предложение по шаблону: тема + поддерживающая деталь + пример. Используйте более естественные выражения и избегайте повторов («singing a song» можно сказать просто «singing»). Добавьте связку для плавного перехода к деталям (e.g., "especially when...") и ограничьте ответ тремя-четырьмя предложениями.

例: I enjoy several hobbies, but my favourite is singing. I particularly like singing in my free time, especially when I can relax at home. For example, I often practise new songs on weekends to improve my voice.

提案: Исправьте грамматику и времена (используйте прошедшее: "wanted", "played"). Уберите неуверенные вставки и сформулируйте мысль ясно: сначала назовите хобби в детстве, затем кратко объясните мечту и препятствие. Используйте связки (e.g., "but", "however") для контраста.

例: When I was a child I loved singing and acting. I wanted to become an actress, but my parents did not support this idea. Nevertheless, I enjoyed taking part in school plays and practising songs.

提案: Уберите повторы и заполнители; начните с чёткой темы: "Yes, I've been singing since childhood." Добавьте конкретику: где и с кем вы поёте, и как часто. Используйте связки (e.g., "both... and...") и правильные предлоги («with friends», «at home").

例: Yes, I have sung since I was a child. I enjoy singing both with my friends and alone at home. I usually practise a few times a week to learn new songs and improve my technique.

提案: Сформулируйте ответ структурированно: сначала подтверждение (Yes/No), затем конкретика кто разделяет хобби и какой именно, и закончите личным мнением. Избегайте неясных фраз («look like my mother's aunt») и используйте числительные и родственные связи правильно. Приведите пример совместной активности.

例: Yes, some of my hobbies are similar to my relatives'. For example, I enjoy dancing like my aunts and grandmother, and I also write poems, which runs in my family. Sometimes we dance together at family gatherings, and I share my poems with my cousin.

× Honestly, there are many hobbies, uh, that I like to do, uh, one of them is umm, singing a song.

✓ Honestly, there are many hobbies that I like to do; one of them is singing.

ID 26: Sentence structure errors. The original has run-on structure and unnecessary filler words. Combine clauses with a semicolon or period and remove the article before 'singing' because 'singing' functions as a gerund (activity), not a countable noun. Suggestion: say 'one of them is singing' or 'I enjoy singing.' ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (mild) — 'singing a song' is acceptable but less natural here; prefer 'singing'.

× One of the most, uh, preferable and interesting, uh, my hobbies and I like, umm, singing a song when I have a free time especially.

✓ One of my most enjoyable and interesting hobbies is singing, and I especially like to sing when I have free time.

ID 26: Sentence structure errors — original is ungrammatical and disordered. Rearrange to 'One of my most enjoyable hobbies is singing.' ID 22: Article errors — 'a free time' is incorrect; use 'free time' without an article. ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives — 'preferable' is wrong in this context; use 'enjoyable' or 'preferred.' Suggestion: simplify and remove fillers: 'One of my most enjoyable hobbies is singing; I especially like to sing in my free time.'

× When I was a child, I also wanna sing a song or playing a role and one wanna be actress when I was a child, but my parents uh, turning down to be my uh, to be my actress and it was a childhood dream and so.

✓ When I was a child, I wanted to sing or play roles, and I wanted to be an actress, but my parents turned down that idea; it was a childhood dream.

ID 5: Past tense issue — 'wanna' (informal) should be 'wanted' to match past tense. 'playing' needs parallel past form. ID 27/1: Subject-verb agreement and singular/plural — 'one wanna be actress' is incorrect; use 'I wanted to be an actress.' ID 21/26: Incorrect passive/structure — 'my parents turning down to be my actress' is ungrammatical; correct to 'my parents turned that idea down.' Suggestion: Use standard past tense verbs and parallel structures: 'I wanted to sing or play roles, and I wanted to be an actress, but my parents turned that down.'

× As I have already mentioned, singing a song one of the most, uh, my uh, prefer preferable activity and hobby.

✓ As I have already mentioned, singing is one of my most preferred activities and hobbies.

ID 6: Present tense issue — 'have already mentioned' is fine, but follow-up phrase needs present simple with 'is.' ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives — 'prefer preferable' is redundant and incorrect; use 'preferred' or 'favourite.' ID 26: Sentence structure errors — reorder to 'singing is one of my most preferred activities.' Suggestion: Use 'singing is one of my favourite hobbies' for natural phrasing.

× Umm. I appreciate the singing this song when I with my friends and also when I'm alone at home.

✓ I enjoy singing this song when I am with my friends and also when I am alone at home.

ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs — 'appreciate the singing this song' is unnatural; use 'enjoy singing.' ID 6: Present tense issue — use 'I am' not 'I with.' ID 26: Sentence structure errors — reorder to 'I enjoy singing this song when I am with my friends or when I am alone.' Suggestion: Use 'enjoy' for hobbies and ensure correct subject-verb pairing: 'I enjoy singing when I'm with my friends and when I'm alone.'

× Actually, one of my hobbies that is dancing is the same with my aunts and my grandmother.

✓ Actually, one of my hobbies, dancing, is the same as my aunts' and my grandmother's.

ID 11: Incorrect use of prepositions — 'the same with' should be 'the same as.' ID 1: Singular and plural issue — possessive for 'aunts' should be 'aunts'' when showing possession; alternatively 'my aunts and my grandmother also dance.' Suggestion: 'Dancing is a hobby I share with my aunts and grandmother.'

× And also writing poems is uh, look like my mother's aunt.

✓ Also, writing poems is something like my mother's hobby (or my mother's aunt's hobby).

ID 12: Incorrect use of pronouns/nouns — 'look like my mother's aunt' is unclear; likely intended 'is similar to my mother's' or 'is like my mother's aunt's hobby.' ID 26: Sentence structure errors — clarify whose hobby is referenced. Suggestion: If you mean your mother enjoys writing, say 'My mother also likes writing poems.' If you mean your mother's aunt, say 'It is like my mother's aunt's hobby.'

× I like writing a poem act uh, also in my free time, uh, I think it's happy or such activity.

✓ I like writing poems in my free time; I think it makes me happy.

ID 1/22: Singular and article errors — 'writing a poem' is okay but plural 'writing poems' is more natural for a hobby. ID 26: Sentence structure errors — 'I think it's happy' is wrong; use 'it makes me happy.' ID 13: Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs — 'happy' must describe feeling; 'it makes me happy' is correct. Suggestion: Use simple present tense for habitual activities: 'I like writing poems in my free time because it makes me happy.'