Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm), and use one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "I enjoy dancing" instead of "I very love dance").

例: I enjoy dancing because it helps me relax and keeps me energetic. For example, I attend modern dance classes twice a week, which also gives me a creative outlet to express emotions and meet new people.

提案: Use correct tense and grammar, be specific and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear past-tense statement, then add one or two concrete details using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example").

例: Yes, I enjoyed ballroom dancing as a child. I took lessons from age seven to twelve because I loved the elegant movements and the chance to perform in school shows.

提案: Clarify and avoid mixed or contradictory information. State the hobby clearly, use correct verb forms, and give a specific reason or example. Remove fillers and combine ideas into one coherent answer with a linking word.

例: Yes, I've loved figure skating since I was a child because I enjoy the feeling of gliding on the ice. For instance, I practiced at a local rink every weekend and competed in small regional events.

提案: Provide a complete, natural response: answer directly, explain briefly with a specific reason or example, and avoid vague statements like "I don't know why." Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Not really — my family members don't share my hobbies. For example, while I enjoy dancing, my parents prefer gardening and reading, so we each spend our free time on different activities.

× Uh, yes, I have a hobby, dancing.

✓ Uh, yes, my hobby is dancing.

The original places 'hobby' and 'dancing' awkwardly; this is a sentence structure and word order issue. Rewriting as 'my hobby is dancing' clarifies the subject and predicate and is more natural. Use this form to state hobbies.

× I uh, very love dance, uh, because umm, dance helps me relax and I feel energetic and it's a great way to express myself.

✓ I really love dancing because it helps me relax, makes me feel energetic, and is a great way to express myself.

The phrase 'very love' is ungrammatical; use adverb 'really' before the verb. 'Love dance' should be 'love dancing' (verb + -ing) or 'love dance' only when referring to the noun 'dance' in context; here 'dancing' is more natural. Also combine clauses with consistent verb forms: 'helps me relax' and 'makes me feel energetic'. Use commas to separate items in a list.

× Yes, I have a hobby when I was a child, this is dancing and this is was a ballroom dance and I really like this umm sport because umm, for me it's really beautiful and interesting.

✓ Yes, I had a hobby when I was a child; it was dancing, specifically ballroom dance, and I really liked it because, to me, it was beautiful and interesting.

The question asks about the past, so use past tense: 'had' not 'have'. 'This is was' mixes tenses and is redundant; use 'it was'. Use past tense 'liked' for past preference. Clarify 'ballroom dance' as the type. Improve word order and remove filler words.

× Yes uh, of course this is figure skating and for me is really important uh sport because I like uh skates uh.

✓ Yes, of course, I do figure skating, and for me it is a very important sport because I like skating.

The original lacks a clear subject and has awkward noun choices. Use 'I do figure skating' or 'My hobby is figure skating' to state a present hobby. Insert 'it' as subject in 'it is really important'. Use 'skating' rather than 'skates' when referring to the activity. Avoid fillers.

× No, my family didn't have a hobby.

✓ No, my family didn't have any shared hobbies.

The original 'didn't have a hobby' is grammatically possible but ambiguous; adding 'any shared hobbies' clarifies meaning. 'Didn't have' correctly uses past tense because the question is general; ensure plural 'hobbies' when referring to more than one person. Use 'shared' to indicate common hobbies among family members.

× I don't know why.

✓ I don't know why they didn't.

Alone, 'I don't know why' is acceptable but vague. To be clearer and connect to previous sentence, use a pronoun 'they' or 'my family' and a short verb: 'I don't know why they didn't' (have hobbies). This fixes missing referent and completes the idea.