Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ понятен, но не полностью естественен и слишком краток. Улучшите структуру: начните с прямого утверждения, затем приведите краткое объяснение или пример. Избегайте слов-паразитов («so I can mention») и старайтесь использовать более точную лексику и связки.

例: Yes, I have a few hobbies. I enjoy drawing because it helps me relax, and I also like reading, especially novels and short stories.

提案: Ответ содержит много заполнителей и повторов, что снижает естественность. Постройте предложение чётко: прямо ответьте, затем объясните причину с помощью связок (for example, because, which). Уточните детали (какие сказки, каким образом они вас увлекали).

例: Yes, I did. I used to draw and read fairy tales as a child, because these stories helped me relax and imagine different worlds, which sparked my creativity.

提案: Ответ понятен, но содержит грамматические ошибки и повторы. Используйте простую правильную структуру: present perfect or present simple for continuity (I have liked/I have enjoyed/I enjoy). Уберите лишние фразы («for example», «I can mention») и сформулируйте причину конкретно.

例: Yes, I have enjoyed drawing since I was a child. I still love sketching because it makes me feel free and allows me to express myself creatively.

提案: Ответ в целом ясен и естественен, но нуждается в более плавной формулировке и лучшем употреблении времен и связок. Избегайте буквального перевода («we have not the same hobbies») — лучше сказать «we don't share the same hobbies». Добавьте сравнение или объяснение.

例: No, we don't share the same hobbies. My parents prefer cycling and taking walks in their free time, while I prefer reading and drawing, so our interests are quite different.

× Yes, I have some so I can mention drawing and reading.

✓ Yes, I have some; for example, drawing and reading.

The original sentence used 'so I can mention' which is unnatural. Use a phrase like 'for example' to introduce hobbies; 'drawing and reading' are gerunds correctly used as nouns. Improve fluency by removing 'so I can mention' and adding a clearer connector.

× MMM yes I heard some so I can mention umm the same like when I'm an adult.

✓ Yes, I had some, so I can mention the same ones as when I am an adult.

The student used 'heard' incorrectly; the correct verb is 'had' to indicate past possession. Also 'the same like when I'm an adult' is incorrect; use 'the same ones as when I am an adult' for comparison. Maintain present tense 'I am' when referring to current adult status.

× So they were drawing and uh, reading different fairy tales because it helps me to relax and uh, transport me to different areas.

✓ So they were drawing and reading different fairy tales because they helped me to relax and transported me to different places.

Mix of tenses and pronouns: 'they' refers to hobbies in past, so verbs should be past ('helped', 'transported'). 'Transport me to different areas' should be 'transported me to different places' for natural English.

× Yes, I had.

✓ Yes, I did.

Question asked 'Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?' A short affirmative answer about having one uses 'Yes, I did' or full 'Yes, I have.' 'Yes, I had' is incorrect tense or form. Use 'did' for short answer to past auxiliary or 'have' if present perfect.

× For example, I can mention drawing because I really enjoy doing it now and adore making it with when I was a child because it helps me to feel free in everything that I was doing.

✓ For example, I can mention drawing because I really enjoy doing it now and loved doing it when I was a child because it helped me feel free in everything I did.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb choices: 'adore making it with when I was a child' is ungrammatical. Use 'loved doing it when I was a child.' Use past tense 'helped' and 'did' for past activities. 'Feel free in everything I did' is more natural.

× No, we have not the same hobbies.

✓ No, we do not have the same hobbies.

Word order and auxiliary verb incorrect. Use 'do not' with 'have' for negative present simple. 'We have not the same hobbies' is nonstandard word order in English.

× I suppose that my parents prefer cycling and even walking when they have free time, but I enjoy reading books and drawing.

✓ I suppose that my parents prefer cycling and walking when they have free time, but I enjoy reading books and drawing.

The phrase 'and even walking' is colloquial but unnecessary; removal improves clarity. Verb tenses are correct (present simple for habits). This correction is stylistic rather than grammatical.