Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 어색하고 일부 단어 선택이 잘못되었습니다. 주제문을 명확히 하고 supporting detail을 연결사로 자연스럽게 이어야 합니다. 예를 들어 'mad People'는 의미 전달이 되지 않으므로 'meeting local people' 등 구체적 표현으로 바꾸세요. 문장 수는 2~4문장으로 간결하게 유지하고 문법(시제, 관사, 복수형)을 고치세요. 구체적으로 언제, 어디서, 어떤 상황에서 혼자 여행하는지를 추가하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

例: Yes, I enjoy travelling alone because it gives me freedom and time to relax. Also, I like meeting local people because I can learn about their daily lives and try authentic food. For example, on my last solo trip to Jeju, a local family invited me to their home and taught me how to cook a traditional dish.

提案: 문법 오류와 어휘 사용이 많습니다. 관사(a/the), 복수형, 동사 시제와 형태를 정확히 사용하세요. 또한 문장을 더 명확히 만들기 위해 주제문 후 세부사항(어떤 게임, 누구와 했는지, 빈도)을 연결사와 함께 제시하세요. 예를 들어 'I loved playing board games with my family and friends'처럼 구체적으로 표현하세요.

例: When I was in elementary school, I loved playing board games with my family. We often played games like Monopoly and Uno on weekends, and sometimes my classmates and I played during break time at school.

提案: 답변이 중복되고 흐름이 부자연스럽습니다. 하나의 취미를 선택해 주제문을 명확히 말한 뒤, 이유와 예시를 간결하게 덧붙이세요. 문법(동사 형태, 복수, 관사)과 연결어(and, because, so)가 잘못 쓰였습니다. 예: 'I've played board games since childhood because they help me bond with others.'

例: I've enjoyed playing board games since I was a child because they help me connect with others and improve my strategic thinking. I also play basketball regularly now because it's social and keeps me fit; for instance, I join a local weekend game with friends.

提案: 문장이 불완전하고 불필요한 반복이 있습니다. 가족과 공유하는 취미를 먼저 명확히 말한 뒤 구체적 사례(어디로 갔는지, 무엇을 했는지, 느낌)를 덧붙이세요. 어순과 시제, 전치사(going on trips, visited Busan) 사용을 바로잡으세요.

例: Yes, we share a love of travelling as a family. For example, we often visit coastal cities like Busan where we try many local dishes and explore markets together, which makes our trips memorable.

× I like traveling alone because it's so cozy for me.

✓ I like traveling alone because it's so comfortable for me.

'Cozy' describes a physical or emotional atmosphere but 'comfortable' is more natural to describe personal preference for traveling alone. No grammatical -ing issue here; however, retain -ing after 'like'. Suggest using 'comfortable' for clarity.

× And then I love mad People because it's exciting for me when I travel alone and I want to meet the local people.

✓ And I love meeting people because it's exciting for me when I travel alone and I want to meet local people.

Use 'meeting' (verb + -ing) after 'love' rather than the noun phrase 'mad People'. 'Mad' is incorrect adjective; remove it. 'Local people' does not need 'the' here. Suggest practice using verbs with -ing after verbs of liking.

× When I was a elementary student I loved playing a board games.

✓ When I was an elementary student I loved playing board games.

Use 'an' before a vowel sound: 'an elementary student'. 'Playing board games' does not need the article 'a' because 'board games' is plural. The error involves article use and countability.

× So I had a many board games with my house.

✓ So I had many board games at my house.

Remove the indefinite article 'a' before 'many' (ungrammatical). Use plural 'board games' and correct preposition: 'at my house' not 'with my house'. This fixes plurality and preposition.

× After I go I went to a school I played with people.

✓ After I went to school, I played with other children.

Mix of present 'go' and past 'went' is incorrect. Use past tense 'went' consistently. Use 'to school' without article for general schooling. 'Played with people' is vague; 'other children' is more natural for childhood context.

× I think that's a playing board games especially.

✓ I think that's playing board games, especially.

Remove the article 'a' before 'playing' because 'playing board games' is a gerund phrase. Keep -ing form after 'that's' (that is). Comma before 'especially' improves clarity.

× I like basketball. That's so interesting to me because is play with other peoples and then is so very interesting.

✓ I like basketball. That's so interesting to me because I play with other people and it's very exciting.

Missing subject 'I' before 'play' and incorrect 'peoples' (use 'people'). 'Is' should be 'it's' (it is). Replace redundant 'so very interesting' with 'very exciting' for naturalness.

× Yes, it is uh, go on trip because I've traveled when my family when we are going on Busan, we have many local foods and.

✓ Yes, I like going on trips because when my family and I went to Busan, we tried many local foods.

Use 'I' as subject not 'it'. Use gerund 'going' after 'like'. Correct tense: past 'went' for a completed trip. Use 'my family and I' for subject order. 'Tried many local foods' is a complete clause; avoid trailing conjunction. This fixes pronoun and tense errors.