Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 用词和表达需要更准确，避免词汇错误（如 “relieve the dress” 应为 “relieve stress”）。句子可以更精简自然，控制在最多5句内，并使用连接词使逻辑更清楚（例如：Firstly, Moreover）。另外补充具体细节（如常去的游泳场所或滑雪频率）会更有说服力。

例: Yes, I have several hobbies. I particularly enjoy swimming and skiing because they help me stay fit and relieve stress. I usually swim twice a week at the local community pool, and I go skiing a few times each winter with friends. These activities are fun and sociable, and they help me relax after a busy week.

提案: 回答总体清楚但有口语填充词（如 “you know”）和轻微重复。可以用更具体的儿童时期细节（例如在哪里学、是否参加过游泳比赛或课程）来丰富内容，并用连接词使句子衔接更自然。保持句子数量不超过5句。

例: I started learning to swim when I was seven at my primary school and I've continued since then. I enjoyed it as a child because it made me feel independent and confident in the water. It also improved my fitness and even gave me a sense of freedom, almost like flying, whenever I swam.

提案: 此答案有重复、语法和流利性问题（如多余词汇“thing”、“and ever since”、停顿音“uh”），应删去冗余，修正语法并提高流利度。可加入更具体的支持细节（比如持续练习的频率或曾获奖项），并使用自然衔接词。

例: Yes, I have had swimming since childhood. I began at seven at my primary school and have practiced regularly ever since, usually twice a week. Swimming helps me relax after a busy week and boosts my fitness, and when I glide through the water it feels almost like flying.

提案: 回答结构清晰但有发音停顿词（“Umm”）和表述不够精确（如 “walking out at the gym” 应为 “working out at the gym”）。可以补充对比细节说明为什么与家人不同，以及用连接词使语意更连贯。

例: No, my family members prefer different activities. For example, my mother goes jogging in the park every morning, and my father likes working out at the gym. In contrast, I prefer swimming in the community pool because it helps me relax and stay fit.

× I particularly enjoy swimming and skiing because they help me stay fit and relieve the dress, and I usually do them with my friends which makes the activities more fun and sociable.

✓ I particularly enjoy swimming and skiing because they help me stay fit and relieve stress, and I usually do them with my friends, which makes the activities more fun and sociable.

原句中用词错误：将 stress（压力）误写为 dress（衣服），这是词汇选择错误，属于形容词/副词或词类使用不当。建议养成写作或答题后检查同音或近形词的习惯，确认语境中词的正确含义；另外在 which 前加逗号以正确连接非限制性定语从句。

× I mainly prefer sports related hobbies and I try to go swimming twice a week.

✓ I mainly prefer sports-related hobbies, and I try to go swimming twice a week.

原句缺少连字符将复合形容词 sports-related 连接，且两分句之间应加逗号使句子更自然。虽然时态为一般现在时正确，但形容词结构使用不当。建议学习复合形容词构成规则并在类似表达中使用连字符。

× I started learning to swim at the age of 7 and I've kept it ever since.

✓ I started learning to swim at the age of seven and I've kept it ever since.

数字写法上可使用单词 seven 更正式；时态结构（过去开始，现在仍持续）正确。但原句中 keep it 用法不够自然，改为 I have kept it up ever since 或 I have continued ever since 更地道。建议在表示从过去持续到现在的动作时使用 have + past participle 并注意搭配动词短语。

× I enjoy swimming because it helps me unwind after a busy week and improves my fitness.

✓ I enjoy swimming because it helps me unwind after a busy week and improves my fitness.

该句语法本身正确，无需更改。只是回答的连贯性与前后重复有关，建议避免在短时间内多次重复相同内容，可扩展细节或换用同义表达以保持语言多样性。（此条作为确认没有错误的说明）

× Moreover, you know swimming gives you a feeling of flying.

✓ Moreover, you know, swimming gives you a feeling of flying.

原句中需要在 you know 与后句之间加逗号以分隔插入语。动名词结构 swimming gives... 使用正确。建议在口语中把插入语与主句用逗号或短停顿隔开。

× I started learning to swim thing at the age of 7 at my primary school and I've kept it and ever since.

✓ I started learning to swim at the age of seven at my primary school, and I've kept it ever since.

原句包含冗余或多余词（thing）、多余的 and，以及 ever since 的位置和搭配错误。已将 thing 删除，合并并修正时态结构为 'started... and have kept... ever since'。建议注意不要在句子中插入多余词，检查连接词使用以保持句子流畅。

× I love swimming because it helps me unwind after busy week and improves my fitness.

✓ I love swimming because it helps me unwind after a busy week and improves my fitness.

原句缺少冠词 a 修饰短语 busy week，属于形容词/冠词使用问题（冠词应被归为本列表中的形容词/副词或第22项，但更接近形容词使用错误），因此在中文说明中建议记住可数名词前需要冠词。建议学习可数名词单数前的冠词使用规则。

× Moreover, it gives me a feeling of uh, flying in a like a bird.

✓ Moreover, it gives me a feeling of flying, like a bird.

原句有填充词 uh 和多余介词 in a，导致表达冗长与结构错误。将 uh 删除，去掉 in a，保留 like a bird 更地道。建议在口语中减少填充词并用简洁短语表达比喻。

× No, my family members have different hobbies. For example, my mom enjoys running and goes for a jog every morning in the park. My dad likes walking out at the gym. Umm, but I love swimming in the swimming pool which helps me relax.

✓ No, my family members have different hobbies. For example, my mom enjoys running and goes for a jog every morning in the park. My dad likes walking at the gym. But I love swimming in the pool, which helps me relax.

原句 'walking out at the gym' 表达不自然，out 多余；应为 walking at the gym 或 going to the gym for a walk/ workout。另外 'swimming in the swimming pool' 冗余，改为 swimming in the pool 更简洁；在 which 前加逗号来引入非限制性定语从句。建议注意短语搭配（collocation）和避免词汇重复。