Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Avoid filler words (uh) and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, because, and). Correct grammar: say 'spend time' rather than 'for a spend time'.

例: I have several hobbies, such as reading, running and playing chess. For example, I read fiction to relax after work, and I go running twice a week to stay fit and clear my mind.

提案: Be specific and avoid repetition. Use correct word choice ('library' singular or 'libraries' and 'picture books' instead of 'pollution books' if mis-said). Keep it concise: one clear topic sentence and one or two specific details. Use linking words like 'and' or 'also' correctly.

例: As a child I loved reading, and my mother often took me to the local library. I mainly borrowed novels and picture books, and I also started keeping a small diary where I practised writing stories.

提案: Be clearer and correct pronunciation/spelling errors (e.g., 'yet' not 'jet'). Avoid fillers (umm). Provide a direct topic sentence stating the hobby you've kept since childhood and give a brief detail about how it developed, with a linking word like 'however' or 'although'.

例: Yes, one hobby I've kept since childhood is chess. Although I didn't play very often as a child, I learned the basics then and have gradually become more serious about it as an adult.

提案: Organise into a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct phrases ('I share a liking for books' or 'I also like books'). Avoid vague phrases like 'it was a really good time actually'; instead give a specific example. Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'also'.

例: Yes, my dad and I both enjoy running, and when I was a child we often ran together in the park near our home. I also share my family's love of books, so we frequently recommend novels to each other.

× I really enjoy having hobbies because I have the opportunity to, uh, unwind after a work day or just uh, for a spend time with my family and my friends.

✓ I really enjoy having hobbies because I have the opportunity to, uh, unwind after a work day or just, uh, spend time with my family and my friends.

The phrase 'for a spend time' is incorrect because 'spend' should be used as the base verb followed by 'time', not with 'for a' or an extra article. Use the present form 'spend' after 'just' to indicate the action. Suggestion: Remove 'for a' and keep 'spend time' for a natural collocation. Grammar problem type id: 10

× unwind after a work day

✓ unwind after a workday

The noun 'work day' is normally written as the compound 'workday' in this context. Using 'a workday' is acceptable but 'workday' as one word is more natural. Suggestion: use 'workday' as a single word or say 'a day of work'. Grammar problem type id: 22

× I remember I went to the libraries with my mom

✓ I remember I went to the library with my mom

When referring to visiting libraries in general with a specific trip, the singular 'library' or the plural without 'the' is more appropriate. 'The libraries' implies specific multiple libraries already known, which is unlikely here. Suggestion: use 'the library' or 'libraries' depending on meaning; 'the library' fits a habitual memory. Grammar problem type id: 22

× actually I was reading pollution books

✓ actually I was reading books about pollution

The phrase 'pollution books' is unnatural; English prefers 'books about pollution' or 'pollution-related books'. Place the noun 'pollution' after a preposition or use a compound adjective. Suggestion: say 'books about pollution' for clarity. Grammar problem type id: 13

× I really enjoyed reading novels and that kind of books and I also like writing as well.

✓ I really enjoyed reading novels and books like that, and I also liked writing.

The phrase 'that kind of books' should be 'books like that' or 'that kind of book' (singular). Also tense consistency: sentence talks about childhood 'enjoyed' so follow with 'liked' rather than 'like'. 'Also' and 'as well' are redundant; use one. Suggestion: choose 'books like that' and keep past tense for cohesion. Grammar problem type id: 12

× I think I don't have any jet from my childhood umm but I remember I started playing chess at that time and right now I really enjoy playing chess as well.

✓ I think I don't have any yet from my childhood, but I remember I started playing chess then, and right now I really enjoy playing chess as well.

'jet' is a typo for 'yet'. Also 'at that time' is wordy; 'then' is more natural. Commas are needed before conjunctions. Suggestion: correct spelling to 'yet' and use 'then' for clarity. Grammar problem type id: 12

× But I didn't play too much when I was younger.

✓ But I didn't play much when I was younger.

'too much' is not wrong but 'didn't play much' is more natural in this context. Both convey limited frequency, but prefer 'much' after 'didn't'. Suggestion: use 'didn't play much' for natural negative past frequency. Grammar problem type id: 5

× we used to run together when I was a child in the park near home and it was a really good time actually with my mom.

✓ We used to run together when I was a child in the park near our home, and it was really a good time with my mom.

Replace 'home' with 'our home' for clear possession and adjust word order for natural phrasing. 'Actually' is unnecessary and disrupts flow. Suggestion: use 'our home' and remove 'actually'. Grammar problem type id: 12

× I share the like for books.

✓ I share a love of books.

'Share the like for books' is unidiomatic. Use 'share a love of books' or 'share his/her love of books'. Suggestion: replace with natural collocation 'share a love of books' or 'share his love of books'. Grammar problem type id: 12