Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar/word-choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases and the clipped ending. Also correct article and number agreement (e.g., 'bookstores' not 'bookstore').

例: Yes, I have several hobbies, including collecting stamps, playing the guitar and reading, but reading is my favorite. For example, I often visit local bookstores because they offer discounted second-hand books, which lets me build my collection affordably.

提案: Clarify phrasing and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, then give specific examples and a reason or result. Fix awkward verbs ('caught on' -> 'picked up' or 'developed') and remove repeated words. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I developed a love of reading as a child. I spent many afternoons in my school library reading comics, magazines and history books, which helped improve my vocabulary and imagination.

提案: Good content and coherence, but remove hesitations and repetitions, and tighten language. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about frequency or result. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I have enjoyed drawing since I was a child. For example, I used to visit parks to sketch children playing by the lake and I often drew landscapes during family vacations; these activities relaxed me and boosted my confidence in my artistic skills.

提案: Improve fluency by removing filler words (uh) and correct sentence structure. Provide clearer contrast with linking words (however, but). Give a concise topic sentence and one supporting detail, then a brief contrasting statement.

例: My parents and I share a love of reading, and we often discuss the books we are reading during dinner. However, my brother prefers sports, so not everyone in my family has the same hobbies.

× Absolutely yes.

✓ Absolutely, yes.

This is punctuation/flow rather than article error, but within the provided list the closest match is article errors (ID 22). The original short answer is abrupt and missing a comma; adding a comma improves naturalness. Suggestion: use 'Absolutely, yes.' or simply 'Absolutely.' to sound natural.

× I have quite a few hobbies such as collecting stamps, playing guitar, and also reading books.

✓ I have quite a few hobbies, such as collecting stamps, playing the guitar, and reading books.

(ID 22) 'playing guitar' commonly requires the definite article 'the' in English when referring to the activity of playing a musical instrument. Also remove the redundant 'also' and add a comma after 'hobbies' for clarity.

× Since I live in an area with lots of bookstore around, I like to visit them and get books at a cheaper price.

✓ Since I live in an area with lots of bookstores around, I like to visit them and get books at cheaper prices.

(ID 26) 'bookstore' should be plural 'bookstores' to match 'lots of'. 'at a cheaper price' is unidiomatic here; use 'at cheaper prices' or 'for cheaper prices'. Also retain consistent plurality with 'them' referring to bookstores.

× That's.

✓ That's all.

(ID 26) The fragment 'That's.' is incomplete. Likely intended 'That's all.' or 'That's it.' which are complete phrases. Suggest using 'That's all.' to conclude.

× In fact, reading is a hobby that I've caught on from my childhood.

✓ In fact, reading is a hobby that I caught on to in my childhood.

(ID 10) The phrasal verb is 'catch on to' (or 'take up'). 'I've caught on' plus 'from my childhood' is awkward; use past simple 'I caught on to' or better 'I took up reading in my childhood.' Suggest: 'I took up reading in my childhood.' for clarity.

× I was always interested in reading different comics, magazines and also historical books in the in the in our school library.

✓ I was always interested in reading different comics, magazines, and historical books in our school library.

(ID 11) Remove duplicated 'in the' repeated three times. Add Oxford comma for clarity and remove redundant 'also'. The preposition 'in' before 'our school library' is correct but should appear only once.

× I'm glad that I lashed upon this habit since childhood.

✓ I'm glad that I developed this habit since childhood.

(ID 26) 'lashed upon' is incorrect collocation. Use 'developed' or 'picked up' instead. 'Since childhood' can be used with present perfect: 'I have had this habit since childhood.' Suggest: 'I'm glad that I developed this habit in childhood.' or 'I'm glad I have had this habit since childhood.'

× Yes, I've enjoyed drawing since childhood.

✓ Yes, I've enjoyed drawing since childhood.

(ID 5) Sentence is grammatically acceptable; present perfect 'I've enjoyed' correctly indicates a state continuing from childhood to present. No change needed.

× I often used to go to parks and draw random sketches of children playing in lakes and even sometimes when we were on a on a vacation I used to draw mountains.

✓ I often used to go to parks and draw random sketches of children playing by lakes, and sometimes when we were on vacation I used to draw mountains.

(ID 22) Remove duplicate 'on a on a' and change 'playing in lakes' to 'playing by lakes' for natural preposition use. 'On vacation' is the idiomatic phrase without an article in British English (or 'on a vacation' in American English). Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity.

× This really relaxed me and boosted my confidence.

✓ This really relaxed me and boosted my confidence.

(ID 6) The sentence mixes simple past 'relaxed' with general present narration but in context recounting past actions 'used to' so past tense is acceptable. No grammatical correction needed.

× Yes, I suppose my parents are good readers.

✓ Yes, I suppose my parents are good readers.

(ID 12) Sentence is correct as is. No change needed.

× We often discuss, uh, contents of the books that we read, occasionally over dinners.

✓ We often discuss the contents of the books that we read, occasionally over dinner.

(ID 22) Use definite article 'the contents' and 'over dinner' is idiomatic (not 'over dinners'). Remove filler 'uh' for clarity in written form.

× However, my brother doesn't like reading, is mostly into sports, so I wouldn't say all of us have the same hobbies.

✓ However, my brother doesn't like reading; he is mostly into sports, so I wouldn't say all of us have the same hobbies.

(ID 26) The original contains a comma splice and a missing subject for the second clause. Insert a semicolon or a conjunction and add the subject 'he' to form a complete sentence: 'he is mostly into sports.' This corrects sentence structure and run-on issues.