Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 表达要更自然、准确并避免语法和用词错误。可以把“help me lots of steam”改为更地道的表达如“help me relieve stress”或“refresh me”。句子结构应更清晰，最多不超过5句并使用连词丰富细节，例如说明去哪里、喜欢什么类型的旅行或旅行带来的具体好处。

例: Yes, I enjoy traveling because it helps me relieve stress and broadens my horizons. For example, visiting different countries taught me new cultures and cuisines, and it often inspires me creatively. I usually prefer short city breaks where I can explore museums and local food.

提案: 注意语法和措辞的准确性，避免重复与不完整的短语。“I press”是不合适的，应改为“I started learning”或“I practiced”. 回答要先给出主题句，再用一到两句具体细节支持，比如学了多久、参加过什么演出或者为什么喜欢钢琴。

例: Yes, I played the piano when I was a child because I loved the sound of piano music. I started learning at age six and practiced for about an hour every day, which helped me perform in several school concerts.

提案: 回答不一致且含糊。问题询问“从童年开始的爱好”，但你回答的是旅行和与家人相处，且语气中有停顿词“uh”。应直接说明是否有自童年开始的爱好，并提供具体例子与时间线，去除填充词，句子清晰连贯。

例: Not really — my childhood hobby was playing the piano, but more recently I have become passionate about traveling. Traveling allows me to make lasting memories with my family, such as our trip to the countryside last year where we explored local markets together.

提案: 回答没有直接回应“是否与家人有相同爱好”。应先明确回答（是/否），然后用一两句解释相似或不同的原因并举例说明。避免重复并用更自然的表达如“create lasting memories”。

例: Yes, my family and I enjoy traveling together. For instance, we often plan weekend trips to nearby cities, which helps us bond and create lasting memories through shared activities like sightseeing and trying local food.

× I am into traveling which can help me lots of steam and broaden my horizons.

✓ I am into traveling, which can help me relieve a lot of stress and broaden my horizons.

原句中“lots of steam”用法不当且搭配错误。英文中常用固定搭配是“relieve stress”或“reduce stress”，而“steam”不用于表示压力。建议使用“relieve a lot of stress”或“help me relax”。另外在“which”前加逗号以引导非限制性定语从句。

× My hobby was playing the piano because I was fond of piano music and I press and I practiced it every day.

✓ My hobby was playing the piano because I was fond of piano music, and I practised it every day.

原句中“press”不合上下文，应为“practised”或“practiced”（英美拼写差异）。句子需要过去时以保持时态一致。并用逗号连接两个并列分句。建议把多余的“I press and”删除或改为描述动作的正确动词，例如“I practised it every day”。

× I am into traveling, uh, I spend some quality time with my family, which is uh, which left us great memory.

✓ I am into traveling. I spend quality time with my family, which has left us with great memories.

原句时态与意义混杂。前半句为一般现在时，适用于习惯性动作；定语从句描述对现在的影响应使用现在完成时，因此将“left”改为“has left”，并把“memory”改为复数“memories”以符合英语习惯表达。去掉口语填充词并调整标点以提高连贯性。

× I am into traveling. I have some quality time with my family which left us great memory.

✓ I am into traveling. I spend quality time with my family, which has left us with great memories.

原句中“I have some quality time”时态和语义不自然，习惯表达为“I spend quality time”。此外，“which left us great memory”应改为现在完成时“which has left us with great memories”，并在“memories”使用复数形式以符合英语习惯，且加上介词“with”。