Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and natural by using a clear topic sentence, adding one brief supporting detail for each hobby, and using linking words to connect ideas. Avoid repetition (e.g., "by myself") and try to vary vocabulary. Keep to no more than 4–5 sentences.

例: I enjoy both cooking and outdoor exercise. At home I like to cook and bake simple desserts, which helps me relax and experiment with new recipes. In my free time I also play badminton and go for short runs, because they keep me fit and let me socialise with friends.

提案: Clarify meaning ("join cartoons" is unclear) and use correct verb tenses. Start with a clear topic sentence, explain the hobby, give specifics (frequency, what you drew) and use linking words for coherence. Fix grammar and avoid repetition.

例: Yes. As a child I enjoyed drawing cartoons and attended cartoon-drawing classes twice a week. In my spare time I would sketch characters and make small comics, and I often gave my drawings as gifts to friends because they liked them.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct tenses and specific vocabulary ("cartoons" vs "comic books", "lectures" unclear). Provide precise examples of what you read now and why. Keep sentences linked and concise.

例: Yes — reading has always been my hobby. As a child I loved comic books and novels about family life and school, which were easy to relate to. Now I prefer non-fiction books and long-form essays on psychology and culture because they help me understand people and society better.

提案: Make sentences more natural and correct plural forms, and add a brief linking phrase to explain why the hobby is shared. Be specific about frequency and feelings, but avoid overly long or repetitive details.

例: Yes, most of my family enjoy playing badminton. We often play together after dinner, usually several times a week, because it is a fun way to relax and bond. For example, last night we played for about two hours and felt refreshed afterwards.

× Yes, at home I prefer to cook by myself and do some baking, and I also enjoy outdoor activities such as playing badminton or just running.

✓ Yes, at home I prefer to cook by myself and do some baking, and I also enjoy outdoor activities such as playing badminton or simply running.

Replace 'just running' with 'simply running' for more natural adverb choice; this is an issue with verb + -ing collocation and adverb use. Suggestion: use common collocations ('simply running' or 'going for a run').

× When I was a kid I loved to join cartoons.

✓ When I was a kid I loved watching cartoons.

'Join cartoons' is incorrect; the intended action is to watch cartoons. This is a verb choice error related to correct verb forms; use 'watch' + -ing for habitual past actions. Suggestion: use verbs that collocate with 'cartoons' ('watch cartoons').

× I had joining classes twice a week and whenever I have spare time I would like to draw cartoons.

✓ I took animation classes twice a week, and whenever I had spare time I liked to draw cartoons.

'Had joining classes' is ungrammatical. Use 'took ... classes' for attending classes. Also tense consistency: past habitual should be past ('had spare time' -> 'had', 'would like' -> 'liked'). Suggestion: use 'took ... classes' and keep past tense for past habits.

× I and I also draw some pictures as a gift for my friends.

✓ I also drew some pictures as gifts for my friends.

Sentence has duplication 'I and I' and wrong tense ('draw' present instead of past). Also 'a gift' should be plural 'gifts' if multiple pictures. Suggestion: remove duplicate, use past tense for past habit, and match noun number.

× Definitely yes, it's reading.

✓ Definitely; it's reading.

Comma splice and awkward phrasing. Use a semicolon or short sentence break for clarity. Also this sentence is acceptable but punctuation improves flow. Suggestion: use 'Definitely; it's reading.' or 'Definitely. It's reading.'

× When I was a kid I enjoy reading novels or cartoons which are related to family life or school lives.

✓ When I was a kid I enjoyed reading novels or comics that related to family life or school life.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was a kid' requires past tense ('enjoy' -> 'enjoyed'). 'Cartoons' referring to printed material should be 'comics' or 'comic books'; 'which are related to' -> 'that related to' for past. Also 'school lives' is awkward; use 'school life'. Suggestion: keep past tense and choose correct nouns.

× And nowadays I prefer to read some serious lectures such as Long.

✓ Nowadays I prefer to read more serious works, such as long essays.

'Serious lectures such as Long' is unclear and ungrammatical. 'Lectures' may be incorrect word; context likely 'long' pieces or 'long essays'. This is a sentence structure and word choice error. Suggestion: specify 'long essays' or 'longer works'.

× Yes, all of my family member love playing badminton.

✓ Yes, all of my family members love playing badminton.

'Family member' should be plural 'family members' when referring to all members. Also subject 'all of my family members' takes plural verb 'love' which is correct. Suggestion: use plural noun for multiple people.

× Whenever we have spare time, we play badminton together, especially the time after we have dinner together.

✓ Whenever we have spare time, we play badminton together, especially after we have dinner.

Phrase 'the time after we have dinner together' is wordy and awkward. Simplify to 'especially after we have dinner.' Suggestion: concise adverbial phrase.

× Last night we played badminton together at least two hours.

✓ Last night we played badminton together for at least two hours.

Missing preposition 'for' to indicate duration. This is a past-tense duration construction. Suggestion: use 'for at least two hours' to express duration.

× It made us relax.

✓ It helped us relax.

'Made us relax' is understandable but 'helped us relax' is more natural collocation. This is a verb + -ing/infinitive collocation issue. Suggestion: use 'helped us relax' or 'relaxed us'.