Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two brief supporting details using linking words. Reduce filler words (uh, right) and correct minor grammar (e.g., “different parts of the world”).

例: I enjoy two main hobbies. Firstly, I listen to podcasts every day to improve my communication skills and to learn about people’s life experiences. Secondly, I enjoy listening to music because it relaxes me. Both activities help me learn and unwind.

提案: Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific examples and one reason. Use linking words like “because” and “for example.”

例: Yes. As a child, I loved listening to music because it helped me relax. For example, I often listened to English and Hindi songs as well as pop music. Listening to different genres was a way for me to enjoy my own company.

提案: Be more natural and concise. Use simple present for ongoing habits and avoid repeating phrases. Provide one or two specific situations where you listen to music and a brief reason.

例: Yes, I have kept the same hobby since childhood: listening to music. I listen to songs while traveling or when I’m alone because music helps me stay calm and happy. I still enjoy it today.

提案: Clarify grammar and reduce redundancies. Start with a direct answer, then give a concise reason and an example. Replace unclear words (“karma hobby”) with correct phrasing.

例: Not all of us share the same hobbies, but one hobby we do have in common is listening to music. For instance, my parents prefer classical and folk, while my siblings like pop and rock, so we often share playlists during family gatherings.

× My hobbies would be listening to podcasts every day, uh, to learn more about communication skills, to learn more about people's life experiences and about the things from different world right And along with that, I also love listening to music yes.

✓ My hobbies are listening to podcasts every day to learn more about communication skills and people's life experiences from different parts of the world. I also love listening to music.

The original uses 'would be listening' which is incorrect here; use a simple present construction for habitual actions. Also there are awkward phrases ('from different world') and run-on structure. Use 'are' to state current hobbies and use 'listening to podcasts' as the -ing noun phrase. Combine related ideas with 'and' and use 'different parts of the world' for clarity. Remove filler words for conciseness.

× When I was a child, my hobbies would be listening to music because I love listening to music with different genres and it just helped me to feel relaxed and enjoy with myself as well with my own company.

✓ When I was a child, my hobby was listening to music because I loved different genres and it helped me feel relaxed and enjoy my own company.

Use past tense for a past habit: 'was' and 'loved' instead of 'would be' and 'love.' The phrase 'enjoy with myself as well with my own company' is ungrammatical; use 'enjoy my own company.' Also 'hobbies' to singular 'hobby' fits the singular activity described.

× So I love listening to English songs, Hindi songs and pop song.

✓ So I love listening to English songs, Hindi songs, and pop songs.

Maintain parallel plural forms for the list: 'songs' should be plural for each music category. Also add commas to separate items. This keeps consistent plurality and parallel structure.

× The same hobby that I have when I started it during my childhood would be listening to music because ever since when I was a kid, I would love listening to music anywhere I go, either traveling, either I'm alone or either I'm like anywhere else.

✓ The same hobby I started in childhood is listening to music because ever since I was a kid I have loved listening to music wherever I go, whether traveling, when I'm alone, or in other places.

Use simple past for starting time ('started in childhood') and present perfect 'have loved' to show a continuing habit. Replace awkward 'would be listening' and 'either...either...' with 'is' and 'whether' for correct conjunction. Use 'wherever I go' for natural expression.

× I just love listening to music and I still do it.

✓ I love listening to music and I still do.

No need for 'just' in formal response; use simple present 'love' for a current preference. The clause 'I still do it' can be shortened to 'I still do' to avoid redundant pronoun 'it.'

× We each individual have different hobby but I think 1 common hobby that we have in my family members would be listening to music because I think each and everyone of us listens to music or we all have different tastes, different genres but that is one of the karma hobby that we do as a family member.

✓ Each of us has different hobbies, but one common hobby in my family is listening to music. I think every one of us listens to music and we have different tastes and genres, but listening to music is a hobby we share as a family.

Correct subject-verb agreement: use 'Each of us has' not 'We each individual have.' Use plural 'hobbies' for multiple people. Replace '1' with 'one' and fix pronoun and noun agreement ('family members' to 'my family' or 'as a family'). Remove unclear word 'karma' and awkward phrasing 'we do as a family member.' Use clearer, grammatical structures and parallel lists.