Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hobbies, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'crocheting' separately from 'cooking').

例: I have several hobbies, but my two favourites are cooking and crocheting. For example, I enjoy cooking because I like trying new dishes and experimenting with flavours, and I crochet in the evenings to relax after work.

提案: Answer directly then give specific examples and use linking words to organise ideas. Avoid filler phrases and correct verb tense (use 'I liked' consistently).

例: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child. For instance, I liked dancing and painting, and I also enjoyed listening to music because I found it inspiring. At that age I tried many activities before finding my favourites.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence saying which hobby continued, then explain briefly why with correct grammar and linking words. Remove hesitations and repetitions. Be specific about how often you practice now.

例: Yes, I have continued dancing since childhood. I still dance regularly because I love how rhythm and music make me feel energetic; for example, I take a contemporary class twice a week to keep fit and improve my technique.

提案: Start with a clear statement about similarity, then give specific examples and use linking words to explain influence. Correct grammar (e.g., 'cooking' not 'a cooking', 'hobbies' plural) and finish the sentence.

例: Yes, I share some hobbies with my family. For example, we often cook together at weekends, and my father loves dancing, which inspired me to keep dancing; as a result, I picked up these interests from my parents.

× Yes, I do have many hobbies among which is specially cooking and crocheting cooking.

✓ Yes, I have many hobbies, especially cooking and crocheting.

Errors: redundant 'do' not necessary with 'have', incorrect word order 'among which is specially', duplicate word 'cooking' and wrong choice 'specially' (should be 'especially'). Suggestion: Use simple present 'I have', place 'especially' before the listed hobbies, remove duplicate word and use commas to separate clauses.

× I like cooking because I like trying new dishes and I enjoy cooking and.

✓ I like cooking because I enjoy trying new dishes and experimenting with flavors.

Errors: repetition of 'I like' and 'I enjoy cooking and' creates a fragment and redundancy. The sentence ends with 'and' leaving it incomplete. Suggestion: Combine ideas, avoid repeating verbs, finish the thought (for example 'experimenting with flavors').

× Yes, of course I did have many hobbies at that time, like I used to like dancing, I liked painting, music, everything.

✓ Yes, of course I had many hobbies then; I used to enjoy dancing, painting and music.

Errors: 'did have' is unnecessary in simple past; 'at that time' is wordy - 'then' preferred. 'Used to like' is awkward; use 'used to enjoy.' Suggestion: Use simple past 'had' and 'used to' for past habits, and parallel list structure.

× Like at that time we didn't know what to choose, what we like.

✓ At that time we didn't know what to choose or what we liked.

Errors: starting with 'Like' is informal and unnecessary; tense inconsistency 'we didn't know' (past) with 'what we like' (present). Use past 'liked' and proper conjunction 'or'.

× So we had all in our hobbies list.

✓ So we included everything on our list of hobbies.

Errors: awkward phrase 'had all in our hobbies list.' Use 'included everything' and 'on our list of hobbies' for natural word order.

× Among all the hobbies that I used to like in childhood, I followed dancing as my hob I I I'm falling dancing as my hobby till now because I really like how the music just let us groove in its beat and.

✓ Among all the hobbies I enjoyed in childhood, I continued dancing as my hobby until now because I love how the music lets us groove to its beat.

Errors: 'used to like in childhood' is wordy — 'I enjoyed in childhood' is better; 'I followed dancing as my hob' is garbled; 'I'm falling dancing' incorrect. 'Till now' should be 'until now' or 'still'. 'let' should be 'lets' (present tense third person). Sentence ends with 'and' — incomplete. Suggestion: Clean up to a single clear sentence, use correct verbs 'continued' or 'still', and ensure subject-verb agreement with 'music lets'.

× Yes, I have the same hobbies as my family members because they also like a cooking and my father especially likes dancing.

✓ Yes, I have the same hobbies as my family members because they also like cooking, and my father especially likes dancing.

Errors: unnecessary article 'a' before 'cooking'; 'the same hobbies as my family members' is acceptable but can be shortened. Suggestion: Remove 'a' and use commas to separate clauses.

× So I think I got this hobbies from my parents and.

✓ So I think I got these hobbies from my parents.

Errors: 'this hobbies' wrong demonstrative and number — should be 'these hobbies'. Sentence ends with 'and' creating a fragment. Suggestion: Use correct demonstrative 'these' for plural and complete the sentence without trailing conjunction.