Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence. Avoid tense issues and repetition. Start with a direct statement about your hobbies, then give two specific examples with brief details using linking words (for example, 'usually' or 'in the evenings'). Keep to 2–4 short sentences.

例: I have a few regular hobbies. Usually I read books at home, especially fiction and history, because it helps me relax. In the evenings I often play volleyball at the local ground with friends, which keeps me fit and social.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler words and repetition. Use past tense when talking about childhood, and structure with a clear topic sentence followed by specific examples and a short reason. Use linking words like 'also' or 'besides' to connect points.

例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. I read a lot of books, especially adventure stories, because I enjoyed imagining different worlds. I also played volleyball at school and participated in inter-class matches, which was my favorite pastime.

提案: Give a clear, fluent answer using past-to-present phrasing (e.g., 'I've enjoyed reading since I was a child'). Avoid unclear statements like 'I can't play big games' — explain briefly instead. Provide one or two supporting details and keep sentences natural and connected with linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I've enjoyed reading since I was a child. I used to read picture books and short stories, and that habit continued into adulthood because reading always helped me learn new things and relax.

提案: Answer directly and use correct grammar (e.g., 'My father has the same hobby as me'). Explain briefly how you share the hobby now or in the past, and give one specific detail about playing together or learning from them. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' for clarity.

例: Yes, my father shares my interest in volleyball. He played when he was young and taught me basic skills, so we sometimes practise together at the local ground on weekends.

× Yeah, I have lots of hobbies like it depends on my mood.

✓ Yeah, I have lots of hobbies; it depends on my mood.

Original sentence combines ideas incorrectly. Use a semicolon or separate into two sentences to join related independent clauses. Suggestion: 'I have lots of hobbies. It depends on my mood.'

× Sometime when I was in the home I mostly read books and whenever at night time I go to ground to play volleyball game.

✓ Sometimes when I am at home I mostly read books, and in the evenings I go to the ground to play volleyball.

Mixed tenses and incorrect words: 'Sometime' -> 'Sometimes'; 'when I was in the home' uses past and unnecessary article -> 'when I am at home'; 'whenever at night time' -> 'in the evenings'; 'go to ground' -> 'go to the ground'; 'play volleyball game' -> 'play volleyball'. Keep present tense to match current habits.

× Yeah, you have lots of hobbies.

✓ Yeah, I had lots of hobbies.

The speaker is answering about past hobbies; original uses 'you' and present. Use first person 'I' and past tense 'had' to match question about childhood.

× When I was in school, uh, first hobby is 2 reading books.

✓ When I was in school, my first hobby was reading books.

Numbers and structure are incorrect. 'first hobby is 2 reading books' should be 'my first hobby was reading books' to show order and correct past tense and noun form.

× After that uh, in gaming I have uh, volleyball game in my school time, so I prefer to do play games.

✓ After that, I played volleyball at school, so I preferred playing games.

Original mixes present and past and contains awkward phrases: 'in gaming I have...volleyball game' and 'do play games'. Use past tense 'played' and gerund 'playing' to describe past habitual activities.

× That's my favorite hobby.

✓ That was my favorite hobby.

Context is past (talking about school), so use past tense 'was' instead of present 'is'.

× Yes, when I was in my childhood there is.

✓ Yes, I did.

'There is' is incorrect in this context. Use a short affirmative response 'Yes, I did' or 'Yes, I had a hobby' to answer whether you had a hobby in childhood.

× My one important hobby is reading books.

✓ One important hobby of mine was reading books.

Sentence needs natural possessive phrasing and past tense for childhood. 'My one important hobby' is unnatural; 'One important hobby of mine' is clearer.

× Because I was child, so I can't play big games.

✓ Because I was a child, I couldn't play big games.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' and tense/ability mismatch: use past ability 'couldn't' instead of 'can't'. Also remove redundant 'so'.

× Yeah, my father has same hobby with me.

✓ Yes, my father has the same hobby as me.

Use 'the same hobby as me' or 'the same hobby as I do'. 'Has same hobby with me' is ungrammatical.

× Actually I do play game.

✓ Actually, I play a sport.

'Do play game' is awkward and missing article; better to say 'I play a sport' or 'I play volleyball.' Maintain tense consistency.

× My game name is volleyball.

✓ The sport I play is volleyball.

'My game name is' is unnatural. Use 'The sport I play is volleyball' to be idiomatic.

× So my father also play volleyball game in our childhood.

✓ So my father also played volleyball when he was a child.

Use past tense 'played' and a clearer time phrase 'when he was a child'. 'Play volleyball game' is incorrect word order and article usage.

× So that's why my father is same hobby with me to play game.

✓ That's why my father and I share the same hobby of playing volleyball.

Original sentence has incorrect structure and pronoun use. Use 'share the same hobby' and 'playing volleyball' to express the idea clearly and grammatically.