Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn cần rõ ràng hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp, lặp từ. Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó nêu 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (tần suất, loại nhạc/sách, địa điểm đạp xe). Tránh quá dài và sửa lỗi động từ (reading, writing). Sử dụng liên từ phù hợp để nối ý (and, also, for example).

例: I have a few hobbies. I enjoy listening to pop and indie music every day, and I like reading contemporary novels in the evenings. I also often ride my bicycle around the neighborhood on weekends for exercise and fresh air.

提案: Câu trả lời lặp từ và nhiều tiếng ừm; ngữ pháp thời quá khứ cần chính xác. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn (Yes, I did) và cung cấp mốc tuổi rõ ràng cùng ví dụ cụ thể. Giữ 2-3 câu, tránh lặp và sửa thì động từ (started).

例: Yes, I did. I started enjoying music when I was about four or five years old because my family often played songs on TV. Since then, listening to music has been one of my favourite pastimes.

提案: Câu trả lời không rõ ràng, có lỗi cấu trúc (tend to attend it to listening), nhiều lặp và câu không hoàn chỉnh. Nên trả lời trực tiếp (Yes, I have) + giải thích ngắn gọn lý do và dẫn chứng cụ thể (ví dụ: TV programs, favourite singers). Dùng liên từ đơn giản để kết nối ý.

例: Yes, I have. I have loved listening to music since I was a child because my small TV often played musical shows. I remember watching singers and learning song lyrics, which made me want to listen more.

提案: Ý chính rõ nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp số nhiều (family members), thì và từ vựng (turn on the TV, watch/listen). Hãy nêu so sánh ngắn: giống ở điểm nào, khác ở điểm nào, và thêm chi tiết cụ thể (loại nhạc, môn thể thao, món mẹ hay nấu). Giữ 2-3 câu mạch lạc.

例: Yes, many of my family members enjoy music too and we often listen to songs together in the evenings. However, they also have different hobbies: my father plays football and my mother likes cooking traditional dishes.

× Yes I have some specific hobbies like listening to my favorite music or reading my reading some books and also I the read the current hobbies is write writing a bike around my area.

✓ Yes, I have some specific hobbies like listening to my favorite music, reading books, and riding a bike around my area.

The sentence has multiple structural problems: repetition ('reading my reading'), incorrect article and word order ('the read the current hobbies is write writing'), and wrong verb form ('write writing'). Combine parallel activities using commas and use the correct verb 'riding' for bicycling. Also add commas for clarity and use 'books' plural for general activity. Suggestion: List activities in parallel form (verb+object), avoid repetition, and use the correct -ing form for hobbies (listening, reading, riding).

× Umm, all the hobbies that I was that I have mentioned above are started when I was a child, especially umm listening to my favorite music.

✓ Umm, all the hobbies that I mentioned above started when I was a child, especially listening to my favorite music.

Incorrect auxiliary and tense: 'are started' is passive and mismatches intended meaning. Use simple past 'started' for actions that began in the past. Also simplify 'that I was that I have mentioned' to 'that I mentioned'. Suggestion: Use simple past for when something began ('started when I was a child') and avoid redundant clauses.

× Uh, I really love music. So I think when the world is giant when I was umm, about 4-5 years years old, I started listening to.

✓ Uh, I really love music. I think when I was about four or five years old, I started listening to music.

The phrase 'when the world is giant' is irrelevant and incorrect. Remove it and use proper time expression 'when I was about four or five years old'. Also complete the verb phrase 'started listening to music'. Suggestion: Keep time phrases concise and finish phrasal verbs with their objects ('listening to music').

× Uh, since childhood, I tend to attend it to listening to my favorite music because I, when I was a child, I had a small television and it often showed some kind of music.

✓ Since childhood, I have tended to listen to my favorite music because when I was a child I had a small television that often showed music programs.

Incorrect verbs and word choices: 'tend to attend it to listening' is ungrammatical. Use 'have tended to listen' to show a habit from past to present, or simply 'have liked listening'. Replace 'showed some kind of music' with 'showed music programs' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'have tended to' or 'have liked' for long-term habits and correct verb collocations ('listen to music', 'showed music programs').

× And I think I really like it and everything. I open it. I'll, I open.

✓ I really liked it. I used to turn it on often.

Awkward phrasing and incorrect tense: 'I open it' does not fit past context. Use 'I used to turn it on' to describe a habitual past action. 'I really liked it' matches past enjoyment. Suggestion: For past habits use 'used to' + base verb or 'would' for repeated past actions ('I used to turn it on').

× Yes, my family's member will really like music. So I think every day and every day day my members will open the TV and listen to their favorite music.

✓ Yes, my family members really like music. So I think every day my family members turn on the TV and listen to their favorite music.

Incorrect singular possessive 'family's member' and awkward future 'will really like' for general present habit. Use plural 'family members' and simple present 'turn on' to describe habitual actions. Remove repeated words 'every day day'. Suggestion: Use 'family members' for multiple people and simple present for routines ('turn on the TV', 'listen to music').

× And they also have some other different kinds of hobbies like sports or cooking, especially my mom.

✓ They also have other kinds of hobbies like sports or cooking, especially my mom.

Redundant 'some other different' — choose one adjective ('other' or 'different'). Pronoun use is acceptable but simplify wording. Keep 'especially my mom' to indicate who enjoys cooking. Suggestion: Avoid redundant modifiers; use concise phrases ('other kinds of hobbies').