Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: avoid article errors ('an hobby' → 'a hobby') and incorrect tense/word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'play musical instruments', 'started playing in 10th grade', 'I enjoy practicing piano and flute').

例: I have a hobby: I enjoy playing musical instruments in my free time. I started learning in 10th grade and became interested in singing, so I often play piano and flute to accompany songs. I practice regularly to improve my technique.

提案: Use clearer vocabulary and correct small errors ('put me to' → 'enrolled me in', 'after few months' → 'after a few months'). Give one specific example of what you drew and link ideas with transition words. Avoid vague or odd phrases like 'critical figurine'.

例: Yes. As a child I loved to draw and sketch. My mother enrolled me in a summer drawing class, and although I was poor at first, after a few months I improved and drew a detailed portrait of my grandmother. That success encouraged me to keep practicing.

提案: Clarify the idea: 'eating good food' is more often described as an interest in cooking or food. Use correct collocations ('I also love to cook it' instead of 'I as well love to cook it'). Provide a specific example of a dish you cook and link past to present with a transition. Keep it concise.

例: Yes, my interest in food goes back to childhood. I love my mother's cooking and she taught me to cook early on, so I still prepare her recipes today. For example, I often make her vegetable curry and have learned to adjust the seasoning to taste.

提案: Improve coherence by grouping and using linking phrases ('for example', 'however'). Correct phrasing ('doesn't match with anyone of them' → 'doesn't match anyone's hobbies in my family'). Avoid 'my father loves to work' unless you mean 'works a lot' — be specific. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family members'. For example, my sister enjoys cycling and I prefer running, while my mother likes cooking and my father focuses on his work. However, we all enjoy and support each other's interests.

× Yes, I do have an hobby.

✓ Yes, I do have a hobby.

Use 'a' vs 'an' before words beginning with consonant sounds. 'Hobby' begins with the consonant sound /h/, so 'a hobby' is correct. Also 'do have' is acceptable but unnecessary; keep as 'I have a hobby' or 'I do have a hobby' for emphasis.

× I love to play music instruments during my free time.

✓ I love to play musical instruments during my free time.

The adjective 'musical' modifies 'instruments'; 'music instruments' is incorrect. Use 'musical instruments' and plural is correct since more than one instrument is mentioned.

× It was in my class 10th that I came in love with songs and I used to imitate the songs on my musical instruments, basically a piano and a flute.

✓ It was in my 10th class that I fell in love with songs, and I used to imitate them on my musical instruments, basically the piano and the flute.

Use 'fell in love' (simple past) rather than 'came in love'. '10th class' word order is better as 'my 10th class'. Replace repeated 'songs' with pronoun 'them'. Include definite article 'the' before specific instruments. 'Used to' is correct for past habitual actions.

× As a child I loved to draw and sketch.

✓ As a child, I loved drawing and sketching.

Both forms are possible; 'loved drawing and sketching' is more natural. Add a comma after the introductory phrase. Changing 'to draw and sketch' to gerunds matches common collocation with 'loved'.

× My mom put me to a drawing class in my summer vacation and initially I was very bad at it.

✓ My mom enrolled me in a drawing class during my summer vacation, and initially I was very bad at it.

Use 'enrolled me in' rather than 'put me to'. Use 'during my summer vacation' rather than 'in my summer vacation'. Add comma before conjunction joining independent clauses.

× But after few months I learned it so well that I drew a critical figurine.

✓ But after a few months I learned it so well that I drew a detailed figure.

Use 'a few months' (need article 'a'). 'Drew a critical figurine' is unnatural: 'detailed figure' or 'impressive figure' fits better. 'Figure' is more natural than 'figurine' for drawing; choose based on intended meaning.

× The only hobby that I have from childhood is eating good food.

✓ The only hobby I have had since childhood is eating good food.

Use 'have had since childhood' to indicate a hobby that started in the past and continues to the present. 'From childhood' is acceptable but 'since childhood' is more natural for ongoing states.

× I love the food that my mom prepares and I as well love to cook it.

✓ I love the food my mom prepares, and I also love to cook it.

Use 'also' instead of 'as well' in this position for natural word order. Comma before conjunction improves readability.

× My mom tried to teach me cooking very early on in my life and I've been taking that forward.

✓ My mom tried to teach me to cook very early in my life, and I've continued to build on that.

Use 'teach me to cook' (infinitive) not 'teach me cooking'. 'Very early on in my life' can be simplified to 'very early in my life'. 'I've been taking that forward' is awkward; 'I've continued to build on that' is clearer for ongoing effort.

× I do not share my hobby with any of the people in my family.

✓ I do not share my hobby with anyone in my family.

Use 'anyone' instead of 'any of the people' for natural, concise expression.

× My sister loves to cycle a lot, but I love to run and my father loves to work and my mother loves to cook.

✓ My sister loves cycling a lot, I love running, my father loves working, and my mother loves cooking.

Parallel structure improves readability: use gerunds consistently (cycling, running, working, cooking). Use commas and conjunctions correctly to separate items in a list.

× So in short, it doesn't match with anyone of them, but we all love our hobbies.

✓ So, in short, it doesn't match that of any of them, but we all love our hobbies.

'It doesn't match with anyone of them' is ungrammatical. Use 'doesn't match that of any of them' or 'doesn't match any of theirs'. Also add comma after introductory phrase.