Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and grammatical, use present tense consistently, correct vocabulary and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain with linking words and a specific example. Also fix pronunciation/wrong word endings (e.g. ‘manga’ not ‘mangas’, ‘give knowledge about’ → ‘teach me about’).

例: I have a few hobbies. I enjoy reading manga and watching documentaries because they broaden my horizons and teach me about different lifestyles. For example, a recent documentary about Japanese culture helped me understand daily routines and traditions better.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and coherent timeline. Use linking words like 'when' and 'later' and correct phrasing: 'played kabaddi' and 'later I shifted to'. Provide a brief reason or example to make it specific.

例: Yes. When I was a child, I often played kabaddi with my friends. Later, as I grew older, I switched to reading novels because I wanted quieter activities that helped me relax and learn new things.

提案: Make the sentence grammatically correct and concise. Use a clear topic sentence, then add a linking phrase and a specific detail about frequency or type of dance. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'since I would is'.

例: Yes, I have danced since childhood. Although I don't dance often now, I still practice traditional and modern dances sometimes to relax, especially on weekends.

提案: Improve clarity and grammar. Start with a direct answer, then briefly contrast family members' hobbies using linking words (for example, 'my father, on the other hand'). Use correct nouns and verbs: 'my father enjoys writing poems' and 'my mother likes social activities' with one or two specific examples.

例: No, our hobbies are different. For example, my father enjoys writing poems, while my mother prefers social activities like meeting friends and gardening. I, however, like reading and watching documentaries.

× Yes, I have several hobbies, but I enjoyed reading mangas and watching documentaries.

✓ Yes, I have several hobbies, and I enjoy reading mangas and watching documentaries.

The speaker is describing current hobbies, so present simple 'enjoy' is required rather than past 'enjoyed'. Use 'and' to connect present facts. Suggestion: use present tense when stating current habits or preferences.'

× These activities can help me broaden my horizons and give knowledge about different lifestyle cor.

✓ These activities help me broaden my horizons and give knowledge about different lifestyles.

Use plural 'lifestyles' to refer to different ways of life. Also 'can help' is acceptable but 'help' is more natural when stating habitual benefits. Remove unclear 'cor'. Suggestion: use plural nouns when speaking generally about multiple types.'

× When I was sad, I spent my time playing with my friends kabaddi, but growing up I took off that hobby into reading novels.

✓ When I was a child, I spent my time playing kabaddi with my friends, but as I grew up I gave up that hobby and started reading novels.

Mixed and incorrect verb forms: 'When I was sad' is likely intended as 'When I was a child'. 'Playing with my friends kabaddi' needs word order 'playing kabaddi with my friends'. 'Took off that hobby into reading' is incorrect; use 'gave up that hobby and started' to describe switching activities. Suggestion: use clear time reference and correct collocations for activities.'

× Definitely, I have a hobby that I had since I would is dancing.

✓ Definitely, I have a hobby that I have had since I was a child: dancing.

The sentence mixes tenses and has incorrect phrasing 'since I would is'. Use present perfect 'have had' with 'since' to show a hobby continuing from childhood to present. Clarify time reference 'since I was a child' and place the hobby after a colon or rephrase. Suggestion: use 'have had since' + past time expression.'

× I do not often dance now, but I sometimes practice a dance to relax.

✓ I do not often dance now, but I sometimes practice dancing to relax.

Use the -ing form 'practice dancing' rather than 'practice a dance' for habitual action. 'Practice a dance' could be acceptable when referring to a specific choreography, but general relaxing practice takes gerund. Suggestion: use gerund after 'practice' for general activities.'

× No, we don't have same hobbies as my father hobby is to write poem.

✓ No, we don't have the same hobbies; my father's hobby is writing poems.

Missing article 'the' before 'same hobbies'. Possessive form 'my father hobby' should be 'my father's hobby'. Also use plural 'poems' or 'writing poetry'. Suggestion: include articles and use possessive apostrophe and correct noun number.'

× My mother hubby is to have fun with herself. Doing what?

✓ My mother's hobby is enjoying herself, for example by doing activities she likes.

'Hubby' is a misspelling of 'hobby' and 'my mother hubby' needs possessive 'my mother's hobby'. 'Have fun with herself' is unnatural; use 'enjoying herself'. The question 'Doing what?' is incomplete; rephrase to give examples. Suggestion: use possessive forms and natural verbs for leisure activities.'