Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, grammar and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct word choice (e.g., 'genres' not 'enemy'), fix verb forms and articles, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Add one specific example of a recent anime or book and explain briefly how it inspired you using linking words (for example, 'for instance' or 'because').

例: I enjoy watching anime and reading books online. For instance, I recently watched the anime 'Made in Abyss', which impressed me with its world-building and emotional depth. Because of these stories, I often get new ideas for my own creative writing and feel more motivated to learn about different cultures.

提案: Correct tense and word choice, make the answer more concise and structured. Begin with a topic sentence, then give a specific example (a favourite book or TV show) and a reason using a linking word like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid unnecessary words like 'at that moment' and capitalise only proper nouns.

例: Yes. When I was a child I enjoyed watching TV and reading physical books because we did not have many e-books at home. For example, I often borrowed adventure novels from the public library, and I loved the feel of turning real pages because it made the stories feel more immersive.

提案: Avoid repetition and phrasing errors. Give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details with linking words (e.g., 'also' or 'because'). Correct grammar ('can immerse me', 'spark new ideas') and limit length to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: Yes. I have kept reading and watching anime since childhood because they immerse me in imaginative worlds and broaden my perspective. Also, these hobbies often spark new ideas for stories or art projects, so I still enjoy them now.

提案: Answer directly and politely, use correct grammar and complete sentences. Start with 'No' or 'Not really', then explain briefly with one specific contrast (e.g., family likes shopping and sports). Avoid fragments and unfinished sentences; finish your reason and provide one example of your preference using a linking word like 'however' or 'whereas'.

例: Not really. My family prefers shopping and playing sports, whereas I am not very sporty. Instead, I enjoy quiet activities like reading books and having coffee in a café because these things help me relax and think quietly.

× This hobby immersed me in a new world and broadened my horizon.

✓ These hobbies immerse me in a new world and broaden my horizons.

The original sentence mixes past tense with present discussion of hobbies and uses singular 'horizon' where plural 'horizons' is idiomatic. Change tense to present simple to match the ongoing nature of hobbies and use 'hobbies' to agree with the plural subject. Use 'horizons' as the fixed expression 'broaden my horizons'. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual facts and use the plural idiom 'broaden my horizons'.

× Especially the fantasy enemy and imaginative fiction.

✓ Especially fantasy and imaginative fiction.

'Enemy' is incorrect in this context; likely meant 'genre' or simply 'fantasy'. Remove 'the' and 'enemy' and use 'fantasy and imaginative fiction' to list genres. Also include this fragment as part of the previous sentence or make it a complete sentence: 'I especially enjoy fantasy and imaginative fiction.' Suggestion: Ensure words convey intended meaning; replace wrong word and make the fragment a complete sentence.

× They inspire me and smart the sparked new ideas to me.

✓ They inspire me and spark new ideas for me.

The original contains ungrammatical word order and incorrect word choice: 'smart' is wrong verb and 'the sparked' is incorrect article and tense. Use coordinated verbs 'inspire' and 'spark' in present simple and the phrase 'spark new ideas in/for me'. Suggestion: Use parallel verb structures and correct verb choice.

× When I was a child, I was enjoyed watching TV and reading physical books because at that moment I didn't have much asset of the ebook, so I would borrow the books from the Public Library and I love the feelings of turning the pages.

✓ When I was a child, I enjoyed watching TV and reading physical books because I didn't have many ebooks, so I would borrow books from the public library and I loved the feeling of turning the pages.

Incorrect use of 'was enjoyed' — passive form is wrong; use simple past 'enjoyed'. 'Much asset of the ebook' is ungrammatical; use 'many ebooks' or 'access to ebooks'. 'Public Library' should be lowercase unless a proper name. Maintain past tense consistently: 'loved' rather than 'love'. Suggestion: Use simple past for habits in the past, correct count words ('many ebooks'), and keep consistent tense.

× Yes sure, I have the same hobby that is the reading and watching TV and anime because I think these two hobbies can can immerse me into a new world and broaden my horizon and also these readings inspire me and spark the new.

✓ Yes, sure. I have the same hobbies: reading and watching TV and anime, because I think these two hobbies can immerse me in a new world and broaden my horizons; these works inspire me and spark new ideas.

Errors include article misuse ('the reading'), singular/plural mismatch ('hobby' vs 'these two hobbies'), duplicate word 'can can', incorrect preposition 'into' (use 'in'), 'horizon' should be plural 'horizons', and vague 'these readings' and 'spark the new'. Replace with 'these works' or 'these hobbies' and 'spark new ideas'. Suggestion: Use correct articles, keep noun number consistent, remove duplicate words, and use idiomatic expressions ('immerse me in', 'broaden my horizons').

× I was saying no because my family is shopaholic and also they are enthusiastic in doing sport.

✓ I would say no because my family are shopaholics and they are enthusiastic about doing sports.

'I was saying no' is unnatural; use 'I would say no' or 'I would say not'. 'My family is shopaholic' needs plural noun/adjective: 'my family are shopaholics' or 'my family members are shopaholics'. 'Enthusiastic in doing sport' is incorrect preposition and count: use 'enthusiastic about doing sports'. Suggestion: Use appropriate verb phrase for opinion, make nouns/adjectives agree in number, and use correct prepositions ('enthusiastic about').

× However, I'm not that kind of person. I'm not sporty. I like reading, I like to drinking a coffee in a cafe because.

✓ However, I'm not that kind of person. I'm not sporty. I like reading and I like to drink coffee in a cafe because it is relaxing.

'I like to drinking' mixes infinitive and -ing forms; use 'like to drink' or 'like drinking'. 'a coffee' can be 'coffee' in general. Sentence ended with 'because.' — incomplete clause; add a reason. Maintain present simple for general preferences. Suggestion: Use consistent verb forms ('like to drink' or 'like drinking'), omit unnecessary articles with uncountable nouns, and finish subordinate clauses with a clear reason.