Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu để tự nhiên hơn; tránh liệt kê lộn xộn và lặp từ. Nên có câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó giải thích ngắn gọn lý do hoặc ví dụ cụ thể. Chú ý mạo từ và thì (use 'I enjoy drawing' not 'I really love art' repeated).

例: I have several hobbies, including drawing, singing and listening to music. I especially enjoy drawing because it helps me relax and express my creativity.

提案: Sửa lỗi thì và ngữ pháp (quá khứ). Tránh lặp từ 'love' nhiều lần; cung cấp thông tin cụ thể và mạch lạc; sử dụng liên từ để nối câu. Giữ không quá 5 câu và trả lời trực tiếp trước, sau đó nêu chi tiết cụ thể (tần suất, phản ứng của người khác).

例: When I was a child, I loved drawing because I was fascinated by colours and shapes. I drew about twice a week and often showed my pictures to my dad, who always praised my work.

提案: Chú ý thì hoàn thành/hiện tại hoàn thành và cấu trúc câu ("I've had" cho hành động bắt đầu trong quá khứ và tiếp diễn tới nay). Tránh dùng từ lóng không rõ ràng ('she's really crazy')—thay bằng mô tả chính xác. Nên nêu tần suất và lý do thích một cách rõ ràng.

例: Yes, I've enjoyed listening to music since I was a child. I still listen a couple of times a week, and I particularly like Georgia Cat because her songs are energetic and catchy.

提案: Cải thiện từ vựng và diễn đạt (avoid invented words like 'mathistic'); dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi giải thích sự khác biệt với gia đình. Sử dụng liên từ để làm rõ ý và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (use 'they prefer' not 'love something as'). Tránh các mệnh đề thiếu chủ ngữ và kết thúc bằng 'OK'.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. They prefer logical activities such as maths and chess, while I enjoy quieter indoor activities like drawing and listening to music.

× Yes, I have many hobbies such as drawing, singing or listening to music, especially drawing because I really love art.

✓ Yes, I have many hobbies such as drawing, singing, and listening to music, especially drawing because I really love art.

Use plural/singular correctly and parallel structure: list items should be joined with commas and 'and' before the last item; 'singing or listening' implies exclusivity, use 'and' for multiple hobbies.

× When I was a child, I really love drawing because I love art and I usually do it twice a week and show it to my dad and see and he really love it.

✓ When I was a child, I really loved drawing because I loved art; I usually did it twice a week and showed it to my dad, and he really loved it.

When referring to past time (when I was a child), verbs should be in past tense (loved, did, showed). Maintain consistent tense across the sentence and fix redundant words ('see' unnecessary).

× Since childhood I love listening to music and it's in my hobby. I listening twice a week and I love listening to Georgia Cat. She's really crazy.

✓ Since childhood I have loved listening to music and it has been one of my hobbies. I listen twice a week and I love listening to Georgia Cat; she's really crazy.

Use present perfect ('have loved', 'has been') to express an action from the past continuing to present. Use base form 'listen' for habitual present. Add proper punctuation and articles for clarity.

× Do you have the same hobbies as your family members? No because I love art but my dad, my mom and my little brother love something as logic and mathistic.

✓ No, because I love art, but my dad, my mom, and my little brother like logical subjects and mathematics.

Replace vague/incorrect phrasing 'something as logic and mathistic' with correct nouns 'logical subjects and mathematics'. Use 'like' for preferences and correct pluralization and word choice.

× So don't like playing chess or play sport but I love indoor games like drawing or listening to music. OK.

✓ So they don't like playing chess or playing sports, but I prefer indoor activities like drawing or listening to music.

Include the subject ('they') for clarity; parallel verb forms ('playing chess' and 'playing sports'); use 'prefer' for contrast and 'activities' for countable concept. Avoid conversational filler 'OK' in formal response.