Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a concise topic sentence, correct grammar, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect word choices (e.g., "keep my feet," "outpours"). Aim for 2–3 sentences, using connectors like "because" or "and."

例: I enjoy swimming and playing tennis. I play tennis twice a week because it is a great way to stay fit, and I swim mainly in summer because outdoor pools are closed in winter.

提案: Organize your answer: start with a clear statement about childhood hobbies, then explain why you no longer do them with specific reasons and linking words (e.g., "but," "because"). Correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., "when I was a child," "grow older," "busy," "partners/players"). Keep it concise and avoid filler sounds like "uh."

例: When I was a child I enjoyed ballet and playing volleyball. However, as I grew older I became busier and I no longer have time for dancing, and volleyball requires many players, so I stopped and chose tennis instead.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating the hobby and when it started, then give specific current routines and reasons using correct grammar and varied vocabulary. Replace incorrect phrases ("keep my feet") with "stay fit" and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "so" or "because."

例: Yes — I have been swimming since I was six. I still swim most Sundays because it helps me relax, keeps me fit, and improves my technique.

提案: Answer the question directly about family similarity first, then add a brief explanation about your routine. Use clear grammar and avoid repeating the same information. Mention whether family members share the hobby and give a specific example if applicable.

例: My family and I don't all share the same hobbies, but several members enjoy swimming. I started at six and still swim most Sundays because it helps me relax, keeps me fit, and lets me work on my technique.

× I usually play tennis twice a week because it's good way to keep my feet and I swim in the summer since outdoor outpours are close in the winter.

✓ I usually play tennis twice a week because it's a good way to keep fit, and I swim in the summer since outdoor downpours are common in the winter.

The sentence omits the indefinite article before 'good way' (article error). 'Keep my feet' is incorrect collocation; the correct phrase is 'keep fit' (incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and collocation). 'Outpours' is not the usual noun for heavy rain; use 'downpours' or 'rain', and 'close' is incorrect here; use 'common' or 'rare' (incorrect word choice). Improve by adding the article 'a', using the idiom 'keep fit', and replacing 'outpours are close' with 'downpours are common'.

× Uh, why I was such a child, uh, my hobby was ballet and volleyball.

✓ When I was a child, my hobbies were ballet and volleyball.

The original uses an incorrect question-like clause 'why I was such a child' and wrong word order; this is a sentence structure error. Also 'hobby' should be plural 'hobbies' to match two activities (singular/plural issue). Correct by using the time clause 'When I was a child' and pluralize 'hobbies'.

× I grew oldly and because the beaters, I'm not have enough time to dancing or played volleyball with the fan, so I rarely do them now because the volleyball need a lot of people to play together, so tennis is the good choice.

✓ As I grew older and became busier, I did not have enough time to dance or play volleyball with friends, so I rarely do them now. Volleyball needs many people to play together, so tennis is a better choice.

Multiple errors: 'grew oldly' is incorrect; use 'grew older' (adjective form). 'Because the beaters' is unclear—likely means 'became busier' (word choice). 'I'm not have' is ungrammatical (verb tense/agreement). 'To dancing or played' mixes verb forms; use base form 'to dance or play' (verb + -ing form and past tense issues). 'Fan' should be 'friends' (wrong word). 'The volleyball need' has subject-verb agreement error; use 'volleyball needs'. 'The good choice' should be 'a better choice' (article and comparative). Suggestions: use correct comparative/adjective forms, consistent verb tenses, base verb forms after 'to', and correct nouns.

× I think it's the swimming while I was six years old.

✓ I think I started swimming when I was six years old.

'It's the swimming' is awkward and ungrammatical; the intended meaning is that the student started swimming at age six. Use the verb phrase 'started swimming' (verb + -ing after 'start') and the correct time clause 'when I was six years old'.

× I very, very like to swimming and for now I I usually go to swimming on the Sunday to keep my feet and to make my relaxing and to help me.

✓ I really like swimming, and now I usually go swimming on Sundays to keep fit, to relax, and because it helps me.

Errors: 'I very, very like to swimming' is incorrect adverb use and verb form; use 'really like swimming' (adverb placement and verb + -ing). 'For now I I' has repetition and awkward phrasing; use 'now'. 'Go to swimming' should be 'go swimming' (preposition error). 'On the Sunday' should be 'on Sundays' for habitual action (article/number). 'Keep my feet' should be 'keep fit' (collocation). 'To make my relaxing' is incorrect; use 'to relax'. 'To help me' is vague; 'because it helps me' or specify how it helps. Improve by using correct adverb placement, gerunds after like, correct prepositions, plural for habitual days, and idiomatic expressions.

× I started swimming at I was 6 and it has been habit even since.

✓ I started swimming when I was six, and it has been a habit ever since.

Errors: 'at I was 6' uses incorrect preposition and structure; use 'when I was six' (there be issue/tense context). 'It has been habit even since' misses the indefinite article 'a' and uses nonidiomatic 'even since'; correct phrase is 'a habit ever since'. Use words in full (six) in speech transcription or 'six' is acceptable; ensure 'ever since' for continuity.

× I usually go to swimming on the Sunday because it can help me relax and to stay fit and I also improve my swimming skill.

✓ I usually go swimming on Sundays because it helps me relax and stay fit, and I also improve my swimming skills.

'Go to swimming' is wrong preposition; use 'go swimming' (verb + -ing). 'On the Sunday' should be 'on Sundays' for habitual action (article/quantifier). 'It can help me relax and to stay fit' mixes 'to' infinitive and bare infinitive; use parallel structure 'helps me relax and stay fit'. 'I also improve my swimming skill' needs plural 'skills' or 'my swimming technique' and consistent tense; 'improve' in present simple is acceptable but 'I also improve' sounds odd—better 'and I also improve my swimming skills' for clarity.