Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 用更自然和准确的时态与单复数，简洁直接回答并补充具体细节。注意数字与时间表达要清晰，例如“20–15 minutes”应为“15–20 minutes”。建议句子不超过5句并使用连接词。示例可以说明频率和原因。

例: Yes, I used to walk a lot when I was in secondary school because my home was very close to the school. It usually took me about 15 to 20 minutes on foot, so I preferred walking rather than taking a bus. Walking also gave me time to clear my mind before classes.

提案: 句子结构和用词不准确，需用过去时描述童年经历，避免不连贯的表达（例如“careers development surrounding us”不明）。回答要有主题句并用具体细节支持，如频率、地点和活动，使用连接词如“because”或“so”。

例: Yes, I often went for walks with my older sister when I was a child because our neighbourhood had many fields and green spaces. We usually explored the area, looking at plants and insects, which was a fun way to spend the afternoon.

提案: 回答总体合理，但有语法错误（主谓一致、名词单复数）和重复词汇。可用更丰富词汇（scenery, fresh air, relax）并用连接词使逻辑更连贯。给出一两点具体原因更好。

例: From my observations, people like walking in parks because the scenery and fresh air help them relax. In addition, parks provide a peaceful environment for exercise and socialising, which makes people feel refreshed and energetic.

提案: 句子不通顺且用词错误（例如“braise pass through”不明）。应直接回答并用清晰的理由支持，描述感受时用恰当词汇（breeze, sand, relaxing）。保持句子简短且连贯。

例: I would like to take a long walk along the seaside because I enjoy the sea breeze and the sound of waves. Walking on the sand makes me feel relaxed and happy, and it is a great way to unwind.

提案: 注意时态一致（用过去式或现在完成时描述最近的活动），并提高表达流畅性。可以提供更多具体细节如频率、时间或活动内容，使用连接词使句子更自然。

例: Recently I went down to the small playground near my house with my older sister. We walked around the park and chatted for about twenty minutes, which was a pleasant way to spend the evening.

× Yes, especially when I'm a secondary school students because my homes and school is really close, so I just takes maybe 2015 minutes on foot it can reach my secondary school.

✓ Yes, especially when I was a secondary school student because my home and school were really close, so it just took maybe 20–15 minutes on foot to reach my secondary school.

问题类型：复数与单数及主谓一致。错误包括：1) students 用复数不符合主语 I 的描述，应为 student（单数）；2) homes 与上下文不符，应为 home（单数）；3) 时态与上下文过去有关，应将 I'm 改为 I was；4) is really close（现在时）应为 were really close（过去时）；5) takes 应为过去时 took；6) 数字顺序“2015”疑为“20–15”或“15–20”，建议写成“20–15 minutes”不规范，最好明确为“15–20 minutes”或直接写“about 15–20 minutes”；7) 句子结构冗长，改为“to reach my secondary school”更自然。改进建议：注意主语与名词单复数一致；回忆过去时的叙述要用过去式；写时间范围时使用连字符或用“about”加近似值。

× I remember maybe I'm quite usually have a walk with my elderly sister because we are careers development surrounding us so we just go outside to explore the surrounding fields or.

✓ I remember I often took walks with my older sister because our neighbourhood was developing around us, so we went outside to explore the nearby fields.

问题类型：过去时使用错误。原句混用现在时与过去时（I'm, have, are，go），而句子在回忆过去，应使用过去式（took, was, went）。另外，elderly sister 用法不当，常用 older sister 表示年龄或姐姐；careers development surrounding us 表达不通，改为 neighbourhood was developing or development around us 更清晰；surrounding fields 前后冗余，改为 nearby fields。改进建议：讲过去的经历要统一使用过去时态；选择更常用的词汇表达关系；简化冗余短语。

× Through my observations, I think it's because the park have scenic fields and they enjoy the field surrounding them.

✓ From my observations, I think it's because the park has scenic areas and people enjoy the surroundings.

问题类型：主谓一致与用词不当。park 是单数，应用 has 而不是 have；原句的 they 指代不清，改为 people 更明确；scenic fields 与 field surrounding them 表达重复且英语中常用 scenic areas 或 scenery；surroundings 更自然。改进建议：注意主语与动词人称数一致；避免代词指代不清；选择常用搭配（scenic areas, enjoy the surroundings）。

× Maybe someplace near the oceans or just the sea sands because I really like the braise pass through. My face is very comfortable and feel joyful.

✓ Maybe somewhere near the ocean or on the beach because I really like the breeze against my face. My face feels comfortable and I feel joyful.

问题类型：介词与词汇使用错误以及动词形式。oceans 用复数不太自然，改为 the ocean 或 the sea；sea sands 不常用，改为 the beach；braise 拼写错误，应为 breeze（微风）；pass through 用法不当，改为 breeze against my face；My face is very comfortable 语法可，但更自然为 My face feels comfortable；feel joyful 前缺主语 I。改进建议：注意单词拼写与常见搭配（breeze, beach）；保证句子主谓完整并使用合适的介词（near, on）。

× Recently I just go down side of my house. I go to the small playground there, just walking and chatting with my elderly sister.

✓ Recently I just went down the side of my house. I went to the small playground there, just walking and chatting with my older sister.

问题类型：时态使用错误与词汇选择。句首有 Recently（最近）通常用现在完成时或现在时，但原句用一般现在 go 不符合语境，且上下文描述为最近一次发生，应使用过去时 went 或现在完成时 have gone；down side 应为 down the side；elderly sister 同样建议用 older sister。改进建议：根据时间状语选择正确时态（recently 常接过去时或现在完成时）；注意定冠词 the 的使用；使用更自然的词汇。