Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal ancak dolgu kelimeler (umm, uh) çok fazla kullanılmış. Daha doğrudan bir konu cümlesi kurup maksimum 3-4 destekleyici cümleyle açıklama yap. Bağlaçlar (for example, so, because) kullanarak mantıklı akış sağla ve “relaxing” yerine daha uygun ifadeler (relaxed, refreshed) tercih et.

例: Yes, I walk quite often. I usually take short walks during breaks from work because they help me feel refreshed. For example, a ten-minute walk around the block clears my mind and improves my focus when I return to tasks.

提案: Cevap belirsiz ve dil bilgisi hataları var; ayrıca anlam kaymaları bulunuyor ("my man's mind", "I discovered the words"). Net bir konu cümlesi kurup geçmiş zamana uygun fiiller kullan. Spesifik nedenler veya anekdot ekleyerek içeriği zenginleştir.

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. I enjoyed exploring my neighborhood and playing games with friends, which helped me become more independent. For instance, I remember walking to the park after school to climb trees and play with other children.

提案: Cevap genelde doğru ama düzensiz ve tekrarlı; ayrıca bazı ifadeler anlamsız ("breathing your breathtaking"). Daha net ve çeşitli nedenler ver: sakinlik, temiz hava, egzersiz, sosyal etkinlikler. Bağlaçlarla nedenleri düzenli sırada sun.

例: People often walk in parks because they offer a peaceful environment and fresh air. Walking there is also good exercise and a chance to meet friends or enjoy nature. For example, many families use parks for weekend walks and picnics.

提案: Cevap açık bir tercih sunuyor ancak tekrarlar ve dolgu kelimeler fazla; ayrıca dilbilgisi küçük hatalar var ("voices of waves", "makes me feel relaxing"). Daha akıcı bir cümleyle başlayıp nedenleri ve bir ayrıntı ekle (ne zaman, kimle, ne kadar süre).

例: I would love to take a long walk along the coast. Listening to the sound of the waves helps me relax, and walking by the sea is refreshing. Ideally, I would walk there at sunset for about an hour with a friend.

提案: Cevap fikir veriyor ama tamamlanmamış ve dil bilgisi hataları var (gereksiz "because", eksik son). Belirli bir zaman çerçevesi ve yer açıklaması ekle; birkaç detay ver (ne sıklıkla, ne kadar sürüyor, ne yapıyorsunuz yürürken).

例: Lately I have been walking on my university campus almost every day. I usually walk for about 20 minutes around the dorm and sometimes follow a path through a small wooded area nearby. These walks help me clear my head before studying.

× which makes me feel relaxing.

✓ which makes me feel relaxed.

Use of present participle 'relaxing' is incorrect here; 'relaxed' (a past participle functioning as an adjective) correctly describes the speaker's state. Suggestion: use 'relaxed' after 'feel' to describe emotional state.

× When I was a child, I, uh, I went outside to have a walk, umm, because during the my childhood I am improving, uh, my man's mind, umm, I discovered the words and therefore I go for a walk.

✓ When I was a child, I went outside for walks because during my childhood I was developing my mind, I discovered words and therefore I went for walks.

Multiple tense errors: 'am improving' should be past progressive 'was improving' or simple past 'was developing' to match 'When I was a child'. 'go' should be past 'went'. Remove extra article in 'during the my childhood'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently for childhood events.

× There are many people, uh, who likes to like to walk in parks because, uh, it is very relaxing time and uh, they need to, uh, breathing, breathing your breathtaking and uh, develop their, uh, imagination.

✓ There are many people who like to walk in parks because it is a very relaxing time and they need to breathe and develop their imagination.

Subject-verb agreement 'who likes' should be 'who like' after plural 'people'. 'Relaxing time' is acceptable but needs article 'a very relaxing time'. 'Need to, breathing' is incorrect; use infinitive 'need to breathe'. Remove unclear phrase 'breathing your breathtaking'. Suggestion: simplify and use correct verb forms and articles.

× If I had the chance, uh, I would like to take a a long walk in umm, coast or sea by the sea near umm because uh, voices of waves, uh, makes me feel relaxing and.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along the coast or by the sea because the sound of the waves makes me feel relaxed.

Use 'along the coast' or 'by the sea' for natural prepositions. 'Voices of waves' is incorrect; use 'sound of the waves'. 'Makes' agrees with singular 'sound'. 'Relaxing' should be 'relaxed' after 'feel'. Remove repeated 'a'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and noun phrases and maintain subject-verb agreement.

× Actually, I live in a dormitory because I, uh, I go for a walk in uh, every day in uh, on campus. Umm, sometimes between the forest or.

✓ Actually, I live in a dormitory, so I go for a walk on campus every day. Sometimes I walk in the nearby forest.

Fix word order and prepositions: 'go for a walk on campus every day' is correct; 'in every day' is wrong. 'Between the forest or' is incomplete; use 'in the nearby forest' or 'between the campus and the forest' depending on meaning. Suggestion: make sentences complete and use correct prepositions for locations.