Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar and reduce repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like "uh" and repeated words (sweaty/sweatiness).

例: Not really. I rarely walk because I live in a very hot, humid area, so I get sweaty quickly. For that reason I usually choose to cycle or drive when I need to travel short distances.

提案: Begin with a direct answer, correct tense and word choice, and use linking words to contrast past and present. Be specific about activities and use fewer repetitions.

例: Yes, I often went for walks with my brother when I was a child because our neighborhood had lots of trees and shady paths. However, now the area is more built-up, so I rarely enjoy walking here.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use correct collocations (e.g., "physical activity", "boost mood") and linking words like "because", "also", "for example". Avoid unclear phrases like "moment of body" or "walking with power".

例: People enjoy walking in parks because it provides gentle physical activity and fresh air, which is good for health. Also, walking with friends or family can boost mood and energy; for example, a brisk 30-minute walk can reduce stress and improve concentration.

提案: Answer directly and use correct comparative forms and vocabulary. Mention a specific location and activities, and connect ideas with linking words. Replace unclear terms like "nature strollers" with "nature trails" or "scenic trails".

例: I'd like to take a long walk in the nearby hills or a national park because the winter air is cooler and more comfortable. I would go with my family for a long hike along scenic trails to enjoy the views and fresh air.

提案: Use past tense correctly and remove fillers like "uh". Be specific about time and details, and keep sentences concise. Correct measurements and describe conditions clearly (e.g., "about 1 kilometer").

例: Recently I walked to work. My shop is about one kilometre from my home along a narrow path, so I walk every morning when the weather is cool and breezy.

× No, I'm not the kind of person to walk a lot.

✓ No, I'm not the kind of person to walk a lot.

No change needed; sentence is grammatical. (Keep as is.)

× Uh, I live in a very hot and humid region so I can get quite sweaty so I have problem of sweatiness.

✓ I live in a very hot and humid region, so I often get quite sweaty and have a problem with sweating.

Use of nouns/adjectives was incorrect: 'problem of sweatiness' is awkward. Use the verb 'get sweaty' and the noun phrase 'a problem with sweating' for natural English. Also add a comma before 'so' connecting clauses. Suggestion: replace awkward noun phrases with standard verb/noun forms.

× So I usually prefer bikes or cars over walking to limit my sweet orders.

✓ So I usually prefer bikes or cars over walking to limit my sweat.

Incorrect word 'sweet orders' is a misspelling/misuse of 'sweat'. Use the noun 'sweat' or the verb phrase 'to avoid sweating'. Suggestion: use 'to avoid sweating' or 'to limit my sweat'.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

Use the preposition 'for' with 'a walk' rather than 'to have a walk'. 'Did you often go outside for a walk' is the natural past-question form.

× When I was a child I loved to go outside with my especially with my brother.

✓ When I was a child, I loved going outside, especially with my brother.

Sentence had extra words and wrong word order ('with my especially with my brother'). Combine ideas, use 'especially with my brother', and use 'loved going' (gerund) for natural expression. Add comma after introductory clause.

× In my childhood there were many greenery around so I love to walking in the shade.

✓ In my childhood there was a lot of greenery around, so I loved walking in the shade.

'Greenery' is uncountable, so use 'a lot of greenery' and singular 'was'. Tense should be past 'loved' to match 'In my childhood'. Use 'walking' (gerund) without 'to'.

× But right now there are less trees and more concrete jungles so I don't like walking in this hot and humid area.

✓ But right now there are fewer trees and more concrete, so I don't like walking in this hot and humid area.

Use 'fewer' with countable 'trees' (not 'less'). 'Concrete jungles' is idiomatic but here 'more concrete' or 'more concrete buildings' is clearer. Sentence otherwise correct; keep present tense.

× People like to walk in parks because they can be bored sitting at home and walking at park gives them freedom.

✓ People like to walk in parks because they can get bored sitting at home, and walking in a park gives them a sense of freedom.

Use 'get bored' rather than 'be bored' in this context. Use 'in a park' or 'in parks' consistently; 'walking at park' is incorrect preposition. Add 'a sense of' for natural collocation.

× Also, the moment of body is beneficial to health.

✓ Also, physical movement is beneficial to health.

'The moment of body' is incorrect; correct collocation is 'physical movement' or 'exercise'. Use 'is beneficial to health' which is fine.

× Walking with power with families or friends helps to give them mental stimulation and helps them boost energy.

✓ Walking briskly with family or friends helps provide mental stimulation and boost energy.

'Walking with power' is unnatural; use 'walking briskly'. 'Families' should be singular 'family' in this context, or 'family members'. Combine verbs to avoid repetition: 'helps provide' and 'boost energy'.

× Where would you like to take a long walk if you had the chance?

✓ Where would you like to take a long walk if you had the chance?

No change needed; sentence is grammatical and uses conditional correctly.

× Right now it is winter season and I love to go outside because the air is much more colder and I don't feel as much sweaty as in summer.

✓ Right now it is winter, and I love to go outside because the air is much colder and I don't feel as sweaty as in summer.

Do not use 'much more colder' (double comparative). Use 'much colder' or 'colder'. Use 'I don't feel as sweaty' not 'as much sweaty'. Also 'winter season' can be simply 'winter'.

× So I would like to go in a walk with my family or my brother to enjoy some hikes or even nature strollers.

✓ So I would like to go for a walk with my family or my brother to enjoy some hikes or even a nature stroll.

'Go in a walk' is incorrect; use 'go for a walk'. 'Nature strollers' is wrong; use 'nature stroll' (noun) or 'strolls'. Use plural 'hikes' and 'a nature stroll' for clarity.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where have you gone for a walk lately?

When asking about recent experiences 'lately', present perfect ('have you gone') is more natural than simple past 'did you go'.

× The last time I went for a walk is my commute to work.

✓ The last time I went for a walk was during my commute to work.

Use past tense 'was' to match 'The last time I went'. Also add preposition 'during' for clarity.

× I go to my shop every day.

✓ I go to my shop every day.

No change needed; sentence is grammatical and simple present is appropriate for habitual action.

× It is like UH-1 kilometer distance from my home and it is like a narrow pathway, so I have to walk every morning when the cold, It's cold is much breezer and good.

✓ It is about a one-kilometer distance from my home and it is a narrow pathway, so I have to walk every morning when the weather is cooler; it is breezy and pleasant.

Several errors: use 'about a one-kilometer' not 'UH-1 kilometer'; 'distance' can follow the measurement. 'When the cold' is incorrect—use 'when the weather is cooler'. 'It's cold is much breezer and good' is ungrammatical; 'breezy and pleasant' conveys intended meaning. Use articles 'a' appropriately.