Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만드세요. 중복되는 표현(예: 'umm', 'I do', 'because')을 줄이고 주제문을 먼저 말한 뒤 간단한 이유와 구체적 예시로 뒷받침하세요. 어휘를 정확하게 사용하고 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 사용하세요. 예: 'I walk a lot. I enjoy walking on the paths near my house because it feels refreshing and I like the views.'

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk on the paths near my house because it feels refreshing and relaxing, and I enjoy the trees and views along the route.

提案: 질문에 대한 직접적인 응답을 먼저 하고 과거 시제를 정확히 쓰세요. 불필요한 반복과 망설임을 줄이고, 구체적 정보(몇 살 때, 어떤 활동)를 추가하면 좋습니다. 예: 'Yes, I did. When I was a child, I walked with my parents every day to the nearby park.'

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I walked with my parents to a nearby park almost every day, where I used to play on the swings and feed the ducks.

提案: 의견을 먼저 제시한 뒤 이유를 논리적으로 연결하세요. 연결어(For example, Also, In addition)를 사용해 풍부한 내용을 더하고 문장을 완결되게 만드세요. 구체적인 이점(공기, 휴식, 운동)을 언급하면 더 좋습니다.

例: People like walking in parks mainly because of the natural environment. For example, parks have trees and flowers, which make the air fresher and the scenery pleasant, and they also provide a peaceful place to relax and exercise.

提案: 조건문을 정확히 사용하고 장소를 명확히 표현하세요. 망설임을 줄이고 이유나 계획(누구와, 언제)을 덧붙이면 답변이 구체적이고 설득력 있어집니다. 예: 'If I had the chance, I would join a marathon route in Seoul with friends because...'

例: If I had the chance, I would walk along one of the marathon routes in Seoul with my friends, because those routes are scenic and well-organized for long-distance walking.

提案: 최근 시제와 시간 표현을 명확히 하세요. 'As I mentioned' 대신 간단히 재진술하고, 언제 갔는지(몇일 전, 지난주 등) 구체적으로 말하세요. 문장을 간결하게 정리하고 불필요한 소리를 줄이세요.

例: Recently I walked on the fitness path in my apartment complex. I went there with my parents a few days ago; it's a long, pleasant route that we often use.

× Yes, yes I do because I like breaking, especially umm in working paths near my house.

✓ Yes, I do because I like walking, especially on the walking paths near my house.

The student used 'breaking' wrongly instead of 'walking' and 'working paths' instead of 'walking paths'. This is a lexical/word choice error and relates to present tense and vocabulary. Use 'walking' for the activity and 'on the walking paths' with correct preposition. Korean: 학생이 'breaking'을 잘못 사용했고 'working paths'도 틀렸습니다. 활동은 'walking'이고 경로에는 'on the walking paths'가 자연스럽습니다.

× Umm, because it feels refreshing.

✓ Because it feels refreshing.

Sentence fragment begins with filler 'Umm'; grammatically the clause is fine but ensure it's attached to previous sentence or stated clearly as 'Because it feels refreshing.' Korean: 문장이 말의 흐름에서 분리되어 있으므로 명확히 연결하거나 완전한 문장으로 말해야 합니다.

× Umm uh, I feel comfortable when I'm working.

✓ I feel comfortable when I'm walking.

Context refers to walking, so 'working' is wrong verb. Use present continuous 'I'm walking' to indicate the ongoing activity. Korean: 문맥상 'walking'이 맞으며 'working'은 오타/잘못된 단어입니다.

× I also enjoy the views around the.

✓ I also enjoy the views around there.

Ending with 'the' is incomplete. Use 'around here' or 'around there' to complete the prepositional phrase. Korean: 문장이 불완전합니다. 'the'로 끝나지 않고 'around there' 등으로 완성해야 합니다.

× Yeah, did I? If you remember, I go outside with my parents every day.

✓ Yes. If you remember, I went outside with my parents every day.

Question asks about childhood (past). Use past tense 'went' instead of present 'go'. Also 'Did I?' is incorrect; respond 'Yes.' Korean: 어린 시절에 대한 질문이므로 동사를 과거형 'went'로 써야 합니다.

× Umm, there was a park near my house.

✓ There was a park near my house.

This sentence is correct in past tense; no change needed except filler removal. Korean: 과거 시제로 올바르게 표현되어 있습니다. 군더더기 음성을 제거하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

× Umm, I I looked there too.

✓ I used to play there too.

'I looked there' is incorrect for meaning 'I spent time/played there'. Use 'used to' for habitual past or 'played' depending on intended meaning. Korean: 'looked'는 문맥에 맞지 않습니다. 과거의 습관을 말할 때 'used to'나 적절한 동사('played')를 사용하세요.

× There's a lot of reasons, but I would say the most important thing is the nature in the park.

✓ There are a lot of reasons, but I would say the most important thing is the nature in the park.

Use 'There are' with plural 'a lot of reasons'. 'There's' contracts 'there is' which is singular and incorrect here. Korean: 복수 명사 'a lot of reasons'에는 'There are'를 사용해야 합니다.

× We can see a lot of trees and flowers.

✓ We can see a lot of trees and flowers.

Sentence is correct; no article change needed. Korean: 문법적으로 올바른 문장입니다.

× Umm, it looks very beautiful and.

✓ It looks very beautiful.

Trailing 'and' leaves sentence incomplete. Remove 'and' or add a completion. Korean: 문장이 'and'로 끝나 불완전합니다. 'and'를 제거하거나 내용을 덧붙이세요.

× Yeah, I will. Umm umm. I hold.

✓ Yes, I will.

Filler phrases and 'I hold' are unclear and incorrect. For future intention 'Yes, I will.' suffices. Korean: 불필요한 발화와 'I hold'는 의미가 불분명합니다. 'Yes, I will.'로 간단히 답하세요.

× There's some marathon St. in Seoul cities, so yeah, I will go there with my friends if I had a chance.

✓ There are some marathon streets in Seoul, so I will go there with my friends if I have a chance.

Use plural 'There are' for 'some marathon streets'. 'St.' abbreviation is unclear; use 'streets' or 'marathon events'. Also maintain consistent conditional: 'if I have a chance' with 'I will' (first conditional) or change to 'I would go ... if I had a chance' (second conditional). Chosen first conditional here. Korean: 'There are'와 명사의 복수형, 조건문 시제 일치를 고쳐야 합니다. 'if I have a chance'로 현재 시제와 일치시켰습니다.

× As I mentioned, there is a working path in my apartment complex.

✓ As I mentioned, there is a walking path in my apartment complex.

'working path' is wrong; should be 'walking path'. Present tense 'there is' is fine as path still exists. Korean: 'working path'는 오타로 보입니다. 'walking path'가 맞습니다.

× It's quite a big long St. umm, I went there with my parents.

✓ It's quite a long path. I went there with my parents.

'big long St.' is ungrammatical. Use 'long path' or 'quite big' separately. Abbreviation 'St.' is unclear. Split into two sentences and use past tense 'went' for the visit. Korean: 'big long St.'는 어색하고 약어 사용도 부정확합니다. 'a long path'처럼 간단히 표현하세요.

× Umm, it wasn't yesterday.

✓ It wasn't yesterday.

Grammatically fine; filler removal suggested. Context implies recent past, so 'It wasn't yesterday' is okay. Korean: 문법적으로 맞습니다. 여분의 'umm'은 제거하세요.