Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は直接的で意図は伝わりますが、発音の不明瞭さ（ums）、文法ミス（help→helps、by working→by walking/keeping fit）、冗長表現が見られます。また、接続表現が弱く、文を短く整理すると自然さが増します。具体的には主語＋動詞の一致に注意し、不要なフィラーを減らし、Supporting detailは2点以内に絞って接続詞でつなぎましょう。

例: Yes, I do. I usually walk once a week. It helps me feel refreshed and reduces stress after a busy day, so I also find it useful for keeping fit.

提案: 構成の面で主語の時制が混在し、語彙選択や文の終わりが不完全です（'I become.'で終わる）。フィラーが多く、過去の習慣を話す場合は過去形を統一して簡潔に述べ、必要なら理由を1つか2つ詳しく説明してください。また最後の文は完結させましょう。

例: No, I didn't. When I was in elementary school I preferred riding a bicycle because it was quicker and more fun. However, in junior high I started walking more as my school was closer to home.

提案: 理由は述べていますが文法（relieves→be relieved / it relieves）、繰り返し（parks, nature）やフィラーが多い点を改善してください。接続詞を使って理由を論理的にまとめ、具体的な例（音、匂い、景色など）を一つ挙げると説得力が増します。

例: I think people walk in parks to enjoy nature and relax. For example, seeing trees and hearing birds can be refreshing and help reduce stress.

提案: 意図は明確ですが時制・語法（if I come→if I went / could come）が不自然で、表現がやや冗長です。理由を1〜2点に絞り、条件節の時制を適切に使って自然な仮定文にしましょう。

例: I'd like to take a long walk in Australia because I enjoy its warm, friendly atmosphere. If I had the chance to go, I could explore coastal paths and enjoy the scenery.

提案: 質問への回答が曖昧で文法ミス（worked→walked? / feel like safety→feel safe）、文の終わりが未完（'I can enjoy like.'）です。過去の行動を明確に述べ、理由は具体的に表現し、文を完結させてください。また語彙（route, safe, sceneryなど）を正確に使いましょう。

例: Yesterday I walked near my house on my usual route. I prefer that path because it feels safe and I can enjoy the quiet streets and nearby trees.

× Yes I do, I really like walking umm I walk almost once a week because it help me feel refreshed and like walking can reduce my stress from a busy day and also I can keep my health by working.

✓ Yes, I do. I really like walking. I walk almost once a week because it helps me feel refreshed, and walking can reduce my stress from a busy day. Also, I can maintain my health by exercising.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'help' should be 'helps' to agree with the singular subject 'it' (or better, rephrase to 'walking helps' so subject is clear). 'like walking can reduce' is awkward; use 'walking can reduce' without 'like'. 'keep my health by working' is incorrect collocation: use 'maintain my health by exercising' or 'by walking'. Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree (singular subjects take verbs with -s), choose correct collocations for activities (exercise rather than working), and split long run-on sentences into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Well, no, I didn't, uh, when I was in like elementary school, I prefer riding.

✓ Well, no. When I was in elementary school, I preferred riding.

Tense consistency: the speaker refers to a past time ('when I was in elementary school') so the main verb should be in past tense ('preferred' not 'prefer'). Also remove filler 'like' and combine clauses properly. Suggestion: match the verb tense to the time frame being described.

× Uh, I preferred riding a bicycle instead of, of walking because it was easier for me to move around.

✓ I preferred riding a bicycle instead of walking because it was easier for me to get around.

Word choice and redundancy: 'move around' is acceptable but 'get around' is a more natural collocation here. Also remove repeated filler 'of, of'. Suggestion: avoid filler repetition and use natural phrasal verbs.

× But when I became junior high school, I become.

✓ But when I reached junior high school, I changed.

Verb form and expression: 'became junior high school' is ungrammatical; one 'becomes' a student in junior high, not the school itself. If the speaker means their preference changed, use 'When I reached junior high school, I changed' or better 'When I started junior high school, my preference changed.' Suggestion: use 'start' or 'reach' for entering a school level and ensure verbs match the intended meaning.

× Uh, I think many people like to walk in parks because they want to enjoy beautiful nature in the parks.

✓ I think many people like to walk in parks because they want to enjoy the beautiful nature in them.

Pronoun and article use: repeating 'in the parks' is redundant. Use a pronoun 'them' to refer back to parks, and include the article 'the' before 'beautiful nature' if specifying a particular kind. Suggestion: avoid repetition by using pronouns and check article usage.

× Umm, uh, we can feel refreshed and relieves the stress by seeing green atmosphere, so.

✓ We can feel refreshed and relieved of stress by seeing green scenery.

Verb form and collocation: 'relieves' is incorrect because parallel structure requires the past participle 'relieved' after 'feel' ('feel refreshed and relieved'). 'Green atmosphere' is awkward; 'green scenery' or 'green surroundings' is more natural. Also remove trailing 'so.' Suggestion: maintain parallelism and use correct participle after 'feel' and choose natural collocations.

× I would like to take a long walk in Australia if I had the chance because I really like the warm, friendly atmosphere in Australia so I think it would be great if I come.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in Australia if I had the chance because I really like the warm, friendly atmosphere there, so I think it would be great if I went.

Conditional and tense consistency: with a hypothetical conditional ('if I had the chance'), the result clause should use a conditional form ('it would be great if I went' or 'if I could go'), not 'if I come.' Also avoid repeating 'in Australia' and use 'there.' Suggestion: use consistent conditional structures (second conditional) and avoid repetition.

× I feel I could enjoy walking.

✓ I think I would enjoy walking there.

Modal consistency and wording: 'I feel I could enjoy walking' mixes modal nuance; in the hypothetical context 'would' or 'could' with 'there' clarifies place. 'I think I would enjoy walking there' is clearer and matches the conditional context. Suggestion: use 'would' for hypothetical enjoyment and mention the place.

× I worked near my house yesterday.

✓ I worked near my house yesterday.

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense and needs no change. Explanation: 'Worked' correctly indicates a past action. Suggestion: none.

× I always take a walk in the same route because it can help me feel like safety and also I can enjoy like.

✓ I always walk the same route because it makes me feel safe, and I can enjoy it.

Collocation, word choice and sentence completion: 'take a walk in the same route' should be 'walk the same route' or 'take the same route for a walk.' 'Feel like safety' is ungrammatical; use 'feel safe.' The sentence also ends incompletely with 'I can enjoy like.' Replace with 'I can enjoy it.' Suggestion: use correct collocations ('feel safe') and complete ideas; avoid filler 'like' at the end.