Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify verbs and sequence, correct grammar and keep answer concise (max 3–4 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant or incorrect verb forms like “want to my company” and “do working.”

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I walk to my company every day, and after work I often walk to a restaurant for dinner before walking home. Walking helps me relax and stay fit.

提案: Good structure and relevance. Improve naturalness by using past tense consistently and adding a linking phrase to expand slightly. Avoid repeating the same phrase (“especially”).

例: Yes, I often went for walks when I was a child, especially in the evenings. It was a nice way to get some exercise and fresh air after dinner.

提案: Correct vocabulary (use “walk” not “work”), make the statement more natural and provide an additional supporting detail with a linking word. Use comparative or descriptive vocabulary (fresher, quieter) correctly.

例: People like to walk in parks because the air is usually fresher and the environment is quieter. Also, parks often have nice scenery and paths, which makes walking more enjoyable.

提案: Fix article and verb errors (“If I had the chance”), avoid repeating the same idea, and use linking words to explain reasons. Replace “working on” with “walking on.” Give one specific reason why that location appeals to you.

例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk on the Great Wall of China because of its historic significance and impressive views. Walking there would let me enjoy the scenery and learn about Chinese history.

提案: This answer has major accuracy and clarity problems (implausible distance, unclear phrases). Keep answers realistic, use correct time expressions and clear place names. Give a concise, plausible detail about distance or duration and a brief reason or description.

例: Last Saturday evening I took a long walk for about 30 minutes along a river near my home. The route was peaceful and I enjoyed the sunset.

× Yes, I want to my company every single day and after work I do working to restaurant for dinner and then walked home.

✓ Yes, I walk to my company every single day; after work I go to a restaurant for dinner and then walk home.

Multiple sentence structure and verb-choice errors: 'want to my company' is incorrect—use 'walk to my company' for intended meaning (verb + preposition + object). 'I do working to restaurant' mixes auxiliary and -ing form incorrectly; use simple present 'I go to a restaurant'. 'then walked home' is past tense while context is habitual present; use present 'then walk home'. Also add proper connector punctuation. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense for habitual actions and use correct verb + preposition combinations.

× Yes, I sometimes walked outside when I was a child, especially in the evenings. It was a great way to exercise, especially after dinner.

✓ Yes, I sometimes walked outside when I was a child, especially in the evenings. It was a great way to exercise after dinner.

The original is mostly correct but contains a redundancy with 'especially' used twice. Tenses (simple past) are appropriate for past habitual actions. Suggestion: remove the repeated 'especially' to improve style and clarity.

× The main reason that people like working in the parks is that parks usually have fresher air and the atmosphere is more quiet.

✓ The main reason that people like walking in parks is that parks usually have fresher air and the atmosphere is quieter.

Use 'walking in parks' rather than 'working in the parks' (wrong verb). Also use 'in parks' not 'in the parks' for general statement. 'More quiet' is non-idiomatic; use comparative adjective 'quieter'. Suggestion: choose correct verb (walk) and use comparative adjective form.

× If I had chance, I would like to take a long walk on the Great Wall of China. I always dream about working on the Great Wall of China because it is huge.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk on the Great Wall of China. I always dream about walking on the Great Wall of China because it is huge.

Missing article: use 'the chance'. 'Dream about working' is incorrect if intended meaning is walking; replace with 'walking'. Maintain conditional structure: 'If I had the chance, I would...'. Suggestion: include the definite article and use the correct gerund for the action intended.

× Last week Saturday evening I took a long walk for about 3000 miles along with a low nearby. My company named her Rd.

✓ Last Saturday evening I took a long walk of about 3,000 meters along a low road nearby. My company is named 'Her Rd.'

The original contains several problems: 'Last week Saturday evening' is awkward—use 'Last Saturday evening' or 'On Saturday last week'. '3000 miles' is unrealistic for a walk and likely unit error; replaced with '3,000 meters' (or choose appropriate distance). 'Along with a low nearby' is ungrammatical—likely 'along a low road nearby'. 'My company named her Rd.' is incorrect grammar and unclear: corrected to 'My company is named 'Her Rd.'' or rephrase depending on intended meaning. Tense 'I took' is correct for a past event. Suggestion: use natural time expressions, realistic units, and proper sentence structure; clarify company/place names and use 'is named' for present naming.