Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and relevant: answer the question about walking (not working). Use a clear topic sentence, correct verb choice (walk, go for walks), and limit to 2–4 supporting sentences. Fix grammar (articles, prepositions, tense) and avoid repetition. Add one specific detail (how often, purpose, typical route).

例: Yes, I walk quite a lot. While I was at university I walked to and from classes and to my dormitory every day, which usually took about 20 minutes each way. I also enjoy taking longer walks during vacations to explore nearby neighborhoods.

提案: Use past tense consistently and answer directly. Give a brief reason with one or two specific details and a linking word (because, so). Avoid filler words and comments like 'embarrassing.'

例: No, I didn't go out for walks much when I was a child because I spent most of my free time playing computer games. As a result, I preferred staying indoors and only rarely played outside with friends.

提案: Be concise and use varied vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, and). Correct collocations: 'green scenery' -> 'green surroundings' or 'trees and plants', 'get close to nature'.

例: People enjoy walking in parks because they can breathe fresh air and relax among trees and plants. In addition, parks offer a peaceful environment for exercise and spending time with family or friends.

提案: Use conditional correctly and be specific about time/place. Keep sentences clear and grammatical: 'If I had the chance, I would...'. Mention one specific reason or memory to enrich the answer and use linking words (because, since).

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in Riverdale Park in Canada because I stayed there during a summer program and remember the park's beautiful river views. Walking there would let me enjoy the scenery and recall pleasant memories.

提案: Use past simple for recent actions and organize sentences: start with 'I recently went to...'. Provide one or two specific details (name, features, how you felt). Avoid tense confusion and repetition.

例: I recently went to Spa Park in my city. It has a long seaside path and many birds, so I enjoyed the fresh sea breeze and watching the wildlife while walking.

× Yes, I work a lot every day.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot every day.

The examiner asked about walking frequency. The student's reply used 'work' instead of 'walk', which is a word choice error rather than a tense error. However it also affects meaning; use the present simple 'walk' for habitual actions: 'I walk a lot every day.' Suggestion: use vocabulary that matches the question and present simple for routines.

× Uh, when I study in the university, I need to work a lot to during my during my way to the class and on my way to my dormitory.

✓ When I study at university, I need to walk a lot on my way to class and to my dormitory.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'in the university' (should be 'at university' or 'in university'), wrong verb 'work' instead of 'walk', extra words 'to during my during my', and incorrect article usage. Use present simple for habitual actions and correct prepositions: 'study at university', 'on my way to class'. Remove duplicated words.

× And when the vacation is coming, I always go out of my home on to have a work many time.

✓ When vacation comes, I always go out of my home to take a walk many times.

Problems: unnatural phrasing 'when the vacation is coming' → 'when vacation comes'; 'go out of my home on to have a work many time' mixes prepositions and wrong verbs. Use 'go out of my home' → 'go out from my home' or simply 'go out', and 'to take a walk' for walking. 'many times' should follow the verb. Use present simple habitual form.

× No, I don't because I, when I was a child, I, I usually focus on my, uh, computer games.

✓ No, I didn't, because when I was a child I usually focused on computer games.

Errors: wrong auxiliary 'don't' with past reference; use past tense 'didn't'. Redundant commas and repeated 'I'. Use past simple 'focused' for habitual past actions. Remove unnecessary possessive 'my' before 'computer games' (optional but 'computer games' is fine).

× So I very, I can easily get attituded to it.

✓ So I can easily become addicted to them.

Errors: 'get attituded' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'become addicted' or 'get addicted'. Also 'computer games' plural → 'them'. Maintain present/past context: if speaking about childhood habit, past tense 'became addicted' could be used; here keep present/past consistency with previous sentence (we used past 'focused'), so better: 'So I could easily become addicted to them.' Suggestion: match tense to surrounding sentences.

× So I didn't go down for work at that time.

✓ So I didn't go out for a walk at that time.

Errors: 'go down for work' is incorrect collocation. Use 'go out for a walk' to describe walking. Past simple 'didn't go' is correct for past negative; replace phrase to match meaning.

× So maybe that is embarrassing.

✓ So maybe that is embarrassing for me.

Original is understandable but vague. Adding 'for me' clarifies the experiencer. Check tense consistency: if referring to past, use 'was embarrassing'. If speaker describes feeling now, 'is embarrassing for me' is fine.

× Uh, maybe I think that people like to, uh, breathe the fresh air and to see many green, green scenery and mean and, and at the same time, it is the best, best opportunity for them to get close to the nature.

✓ Maybe people like to breathe fresh air, see a lot of green scenery, and at the same time, it is the best opportunity for them to get close to nature.

Errors: unnecessary 'to' before verbs in a list (use parallel structure), 'many green, green scenery' is incorrect—use 'a lot of green scenery' or 'green scenery', 'get close to the nature' should be 'get close to nature' (no article). Clean up repetition and maintain parallel verb forms.

× Uh, if I had a chance to take a long walk, maybe I will go to choose the uh, Riverdale Park in Canada because I on the summer program on in on in Canada.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, maybe I would choose Riverdale Park in Canada because I was on a summer program in Canada.

Errors: conditional form mismatch—use 'would' in the result clause for second conditional ('If I had' → 'I would choose'). Remove extra verbs 'go to choose'. Preposition issues: 'on the summer program on in on in Canada' should be 'was on a summer program in Canada'. Use past simple for the reason.

× I work along the Riverdale Park and I get close to the magnificent scenery.

✓ I worked near Riverdale Park and got close to the magnificent scenery.

Since the speaker refers to a past summer program, verbs should be in the past tense: 'worked' and 'got'. Also 'along the Riverdale Park' is awkward—use 'near Riverdale Park' or 'along Riverdale Park' if referring to a river; choose preposition to match meaning.

× Lately, uh, I will, I went for a lately I went for a spa park in my city and because there was a long path and it was close to the sea and there are so many birds flying at here, so it, it would be very interesting for me.

✓ Lately, I went to Spa Park in my city because there was a long path, it was close to the sea, and many birds were flying there, so it was very interesting for me.

Errors: 'Lately' suggests present perfect ('have gone') or simple past 'I went' is fine; remove extraneous 'I will' and repeated phrases. Use 'went to' not 'went for a'. Use past tense 'were flying' and 'was very interesting' to keep past narration. 'at here' is incorrect → 'there'. Capitalize proper noun 'Spa Park' if it is a place name.