Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct tense and prepositions. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like 'uh', and use natural phrases (e.g. 'I walk to work' not 'go to my workplace by foot'). Add one specific detail about routine or benefits with a linking word.

例: Yes, I do. I walk about three kilometres to my office every day because I work from home and prefer to commute on foot. This helps me stay fit and gives me time to clear my mind before work.

提案: Use correct past tense and word order. Begin with a direct past-tense statement, use 'my mother and I' not 'my mother and me', and give a specific reason or memory with a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child my mother and I used to walk to school every day because she believed walking was healthy and helped us save money on transport.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and organize reasons with linking words. Use correct articles and plural forms ('parks are calm', 'there is a lot of traffic'). Avoid filler words and be specific about benefits (fresh air, quiet).

例: People like walking in parks because they are calm and quieter than busy streets. For example, parks have less traffic noise and cleaner air, so walking there is more relaxing and better for your health.

提案: Use conditional correctly and choose precise vocabulary. Say 'if I had the chance' and use 'hills' or 'a mountain' and 'climb' rather than 'toss'. Explain why with one clear reason. Avoid hesitation sounds.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk up a mountain because reaching the summit would feel like an achievement and offer great views and fresh air.

提案: Give a direct, coherent answer in past tense and avoid contradictory phrasing. State a recent example and one reason, using linking words to clarify frequency. Remove fillers and use precise time expressions like 'recently' or 'last week'.

例: Recently I walked to my workplace a few times. For instance, last week I walked there two mornings because I couldn't sleep and wanted some fresh air before work.

× I am working now from my home to my office.

✓ I work from my home to my office now.

The student used present continuous 'am working' for a habitual action; present simple is correct for routines. Use 'I work' to indicate a regular commute. Also word order: place/time 'now' at end or before verb as appropriate.

× I am working now from my home to my office.

✓ I work from my home to my office now.

The preposition 'from' is fine but 'to my office' follows; no change needed other than tense. Ensure prepositions correctly indicate origin and destination.

× Uh, I need to go 3 kilometres and I go to my workplace by foot.

✓ I need to go three kilometres and I go to my workplace on foot.

Write numbers in words in formal speech and use the correct phrase 'on foot' not 'by foot'. Quantifier issue: numeric form and idiomatic expression.

× When I was a child, my mother and me went to school by foot because my mother thought that walking is a good exercise for me.

✓ When I was a child, my mother and I went to school on foot because my mother thought that walking was a good exercise for me.

Use subject pronoun 'I' not 'me' when combined with another subject. Also 'on foot' is the idiomatic preposition and past tense 'was' matches the past context.

× Yes, I go out for a walk.

✓ Yes, I go out for a walk.

This sentence is acceptable for habitual action. No tense change needed; leave as present simple for routines.

× Because park is very calm and without noise enrolled there have a lots of heavy traffic or sometimes heavy umm vehicles in road and make noise.

✓ Because the park is very calm and quiet; outside there is a lot of heavy traffic or sometimes many vehicles on the road that make noise.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'park' when referring to parks in general context here; 'a lots of' is incorrect—use 'a lot of' or 'many'. 'In road' should be 'on the road'. Also simplify 'without noise enrolled' which is unclear; replaced with 'quiet'. Ensure subject-verb agreement 'there is' for singular 'a lot'.

× Because park is very calm and without noise enrolled there have a lots of heavy traffic or sometimes heavy umm vehicles in road and make noise.

✓ Because the park is very calm and quiet; outside there is a lot of heavy traffic or sometimes many vehicles on the road that make noise.

'A lots of' is wrong; use 'a lot of' or 'many' with plural noun 'vehicles'. Also ensure 'there is' agrees with 'a lot' (singular concept) and 'many vehicles' uses plural verb constructions if necessary.

× I uh, I toss the hill by walk.

✓ I, uh, will climb the hill by walking.

The verb 'toss' is incorrect for ascending a hill; use 'climb'. Also use 'by walking' or 'on foot' to express the means. 'Will' fits the conditional future context ('if I visit the hill'). Alternatively 'I would climb the hill on foot' if speaking hypothetically.

× Umm, I want to take a long walk when I will visit uh, hill because hill is so high, so it will be great achievement for me.

✓ Umm, I want to take a long walk when I visit a hill because the hill is so high, so it would be a great achievement for me.

In English, after time expressions like 'when' we normally use present simple not 'will' for future events: 'when I visit'. Use 'a hill' and 'the hill' appropriately; 'would' fits the hypothetical tone. Also include articles 'a' and 'the'.

× Umm, I want to take a long walk when I will visit uh, hill because hill is so high, so it will be great achievement for me.

✓ Umm, I want to take a long walk when I visit a hill because the hill is so high, so it would be a great achievement for me.

Missing articles: use 'a hill' for an unspecified hill and 'the hill' when referring to that hill specifically. Also 'a great achievement' requires the indefinite article.

× Sometime I went to my workplace lately because I want to sleep lately.

✓ Lately I have sometimes walked to my workplace because I wanted to sleep.

Mixing past 'went' with 'lately' and present 'want' is inconsistent. Use present perfect 'have walked' for recent repeated actions or simple past 'went' with matching time. Also 'want' should be past 'wanted' if explaining reason for past actions. Placement of adverbs: 'lately' usually goes at beginning or end.

× Sometime I went to my workplace lately because I want to sleep lately.

✓ Lately I have sometimes walked to my workplace because I wanted to sleep.

Place adverbs like 'lately' and 'sometimes' in natural positions: 'Lately I have sometimes...' or 'I have sometimes... lately'. Avoid duplicating 'lately'.

× my mother and me went to school by foot

✓ my mother and I went to school on foot

When used as the subject of the verb 'went', the correct pronoun is 'I', not 'me'. Also use 'on foot' for walking.