Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and coherent but could be more concise and start with a clearer topic sentence. Avoid saying "I work quite a lot" when asked about walking — it confuses the meaning. Use one clear reason and add a brief specific example or frequency to strengthen your response.

例: Yes, I walk a lot for short trips around my neighborhood because it refreshes my mind and keeps me active. For example, I usually walk to the nearby grocery store three times a week instead of taking the bus.

提案: Good structure: clear topic sentence and supporting details. To improve, reduce redundancy and add a brief vivid detail (specific park activity or memory) to make it more engaging and specific.

例: Yes, I often went for walks as a child because several parks were close to our home, and my family visited them almost every weekend. I remember flying kites on the big hill in one park, which made those outings special.

提案: Strong, relevant answer with two clear reasons. Improve cohesion by using linking words and a brief example to illustrate each point. Avoid phrasing mistakes like "strike out conversations" — use "strike up" or "start" conversations.

例: People like walking in parks because, firstly, being in nature refreshes the mind and improves mental well-being; secondly, parks are social spaces where you can meet neighbors and strike up conversations. For example, I often chat with a neighbor while walking his dog, which makes exercise more enjoyable.

提案: Good content and personal reference. To improve, make the opening sentence more concise and connect your past experience to your future preference using linking phrases. Avoid repeating similar ideas (relax/clear my mind) — combine them and add a short detail about what you would do on the walk.

例: I would like to take a long walk in a national park because the scenery and fresh air help me relax and recharge. For instance, after a wonderful mountain hike last year, I enjoyed photographing wildflowers and watching the sunset from a ridge, so I would plan similar activities on a future walk.

提案: Clear, concise and specific — well done. To reach a higher score, you could add one brief sensory or time detail (how long you walked or a specific flower/scene) to make it slightly more vivid, while keeping it brief.

例: Last weekend I walked in the public park near my home for about 45 minutes. I strolled along the lake, chatted with a neighbor, and admired the bright tulips by the path, which left me feeling relaxed and refreshed.

× I prefer walking to taking public transport for short trips because it refreshes my mind and helps me feel closer to nature.

✓ I prefer walking to taking public transport for short trips because it refreshes my mind and helps me feel closer to nature.

No change needed. Sentence is grammatically correct: gerunds used correctly after prefer and parallel structure 'walking to taking'.

× It was a valuable family tradition to spend time outdoors together.

✓ It was a valuable family tradition to spend time outdoors together.

No change needed. Verb tense and subject-verb agreement are correct for past description.

× It's also a social place where you can meet neighbors, strike out conversations and form new friendships while exercising.

✓ It's also a social place where you can meet neighbors, strike up conversations and form new friendships while exercising.

Use 'strike up conversations' not 'strike out conversations'. 'Strike up' is the correct phrasal verb meaning to begin a conversation. 'Strike out' has different meanings (fail or remove).

× I would like to take a long walk in the mountains or in a National Park because the natural surroundings help me relax and clear my mind.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in the mountains or in a national park because the natural surroundings help me relax and clear my mind.

'National park' does not need capitalization unless it is part of a proper noun (e.g., 'Yellowstone National Park'). Use lowercase when speaking generally. Grammar otherwise correct.

× Last year I went on a mountain hike and it was a wonderful and unforgettable experience.

✓ Last year I went on a mountain hike, and it was a wonderful, unforgettable experience.

No major grammatical error; suggestion adds a comma before conjunction joining independent clauses and uses comma between adjectives that are coordinate ('wonderful' and 'unforgettable') for clearer style.

× I went for a walk in a public park near my home last weekend.

✓ I went for a walk in a public park near my home last weekend.

Sentence is grammatically correct. Preposition 'in' correctly indicates location.

× I walked along the lake and chatted with a neighbor while enjoying the park's flower beds, which made me feel relaxed and refreshed.

✓ I walked along the lake and chatted with a neighbor while enjoying the park's flower beds, which made me feel relaxed and refreshed.

No grammatical error. Possessive 'park's' and relative clause 'which made me feel...' are used correctly.