Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意语法时态与动词拼写（如“walk”而非“work”），回答要更直接并简洁，最多5句。可先给主题句（是否常走路），然后用一到两句简要说明原因并举一具体例子，使用连词使逻辑更清晰。

例: Yes, I walk quite often, especially to and from school. I find walking in the morning helps me get some exercise and clears my mind. For example, I usually walk for about 20 minutes and use that time to plan my day.

提案: 注意时态一致（过去时），避免重复词汇和语音犹豫。可给出主题句说明频率，然后用一两个具体细节（地点、与谁、什么时候）丰富回答，并用连接词衔接。

例: Yes, I often went for walks with my father after dinner when I was a child. We usually walked in the nearby garden, and he liked to make this a daily routine so we talked a lot during those walks.

提案: 减少语气词（如“Umm”），注意形容词或动词形式（“relaxed”应为“relax”或“feel relaxed”）。回答要有条理，使用连接词（for example, besides）。给出两到三个清晰理由并展开具体化。

例: People like walking in parks mainly because they can enjoy the scenery and relax. Besides, walking in parks is a good form of exercise that helps keep people fit. For example, many parks have shaded paths that make walks comfortable.

提案: 避免不相关或错误词（如“tickle”），用虚拟语气时注意结构（‘If I had the chance, I would...’）。先直接回答地点，然后用两句具体说明为什么和会和谁一起，并减少犹豫词。

例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along the Yellow River. I imagine walking there with friends to enjoy the scenery and learn about local history. We would probably stop often to take photos and chat.

提案: 注意词汇选择与时态（应为“walked”而非 “worked”），先直接说最近去了哪里，然后说明具体原因或感受，用一两句补充细节。避免句子碎片与语法错误。

例: I walked in my school playground recently because it was cooler there and I needed a break. The sunshine looked beautiful on the grass, so I stopped to take a photo of the scene.

× Yes, sometimes when I go to the school I will work a lot.

✓ Yes, sometimes when I go to school I walk a lot.

句子中主语与谓语不一致且用词不当。原句用“will work a lot”不符合语境（想表达“走很多路”应为walk），且“go to the school”在泛指上学时通常说“go to school”。建议根据现在时的习惯动作使用一般现在时："I walk a lot"。

× I think it can help me to do more exercise when I get up early.

✓ I think it helps me get more exercise when I get up early.

语态和时态混用造成不自然。用“can help me to do more exercise”显得冗长，且在表达习惯性结果时通常用一般现在时“helps”。同时“help someone do something”中不需要不定式to。建议改为："helps me get more exercise"。

× It can make me calm, calm down and can think about a lot of things.

✓ It can calm me down and help me think about many things.

原句中“make me calm, calm down”重复且结构混乱，应使用固定短语“calm someone down”。另外“can think about a lot of things”应改为“help me think about many things”更通顺。建议合并并使用动词短语。

× Yes, when I was a child I sometimes will go to the garden with my father after dinner because he he like he likes walking and he keeps it every.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I sometimes went to the garden with my father after dinner because he liked walking and did it often.

描述过去习惯时应使用过去时（went, liked, did）而不是“will”。原句还有重复“he he”和“不完整的表达”“keeps it every”。建议把“keeps it every”改为“did it often”或“used to do it every day”等更自然的过去习惯表达。

× Umm, definitely. I think people can see the beautiful scenery in the parks and sometimes can relaxed themselves.

✓ Umm, definitely. I think people can see the beautiful scenery in parks and sometimes relax themselves.

动词“relaxed”是过去分词或形容词，句中需要动词原形“relax”。另外“in the parks”中的定冠词在泛指时可省略为“in parks”。建议使用“relax themselves”。

× Also it can help people keep fit so people like to walk in the parks.

✓ Also it can help people keep fit, so people like to walk in parks.

句子主谓基本正确，但“in the parks”在泛指时应去掉定冠词；建议加逗号连接并删掉多余定冠词，使表达更自然。

× MMM Sometimes I like to tickle, take a long walk if I had a chance to the Yellow River, Along the Yellow River.

✓ Sometimes I'd like to take a long walk along the Yellow River if I had the chance.

原句时态混乱（现在时“I like”与虚拟条件“if I had”冲突），且“tickle”显然用词错误，且介词短语次序不当。根据“if I had the chance”为与现在事实相反的假设，应用条件句“I'd like to take...”并用固定短语“take a long walk along the Yellow River”。建议删除无关词并调整时态和语序。

× I can see, uh, many interesting things with my friends and we will talk a lot of things, uh.

✓ I can see many interesting things with my friends and we will talk about a lot of things.

原句中“talk a lot of things”结构错误，应该使用“talk about a lot of things”。此外不需要多余的逗号。建议使用“talk about”来引出谈论的内容。

× I worked in my school playground because it's very hot and it can make me relaxed and sometimes the sunshine down that is very beautiful.

✓ I walked in my school playground because it was very hot and it made me feel relaxed, and sometimes the sunshine there was very beautiful.

描述过去经历应使用过去时（walked/was/made）。原句使用“worked”不合语境，应为“walked”；“make me relaxed”结构不自然，改为“made me feel relaxed”；“the sunshine down that”语序和指代错误，应改为“the sunshine there”。建议把所有动词改为过去时并调整表达顺序。

× Yes, sometimes when I go to the school I will work a lot.

✓ Yes, sometimes when I go to school I walk a lot.

再次强调定冠词错误。“go to the school”在谈论上学这一行为时通常省略冠词，使用“go to school”。已在前面列出，注意避免重复错误。