Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并避免重复，句子要更简洁自然。注意时态与搭配（e.g. "go shopping" 而不是 "work a lot in shopping"），并用一两句补充细节或频率。可用连接词让表述更连贯。

例: Not really. My office is only a ten-minute walk from my apartment, so I rarely need to walk long distances. I usually walk more on weekends when I go shopping or take short strolls in the neighborhood.

提案: 回答要更清晰，使用正确的表达（"start" 用法问题），避免生硬翻译。提供具体例子和感受，使用连接词组织句子。把“tired”换成更自然的短语如 "quite tiring"。

例: Yes, I did. When I was in primary school we often had school trips to the local nature park. Those outings were fun because we explored trails and learned about plants, although the long walks were quite tiring for young children.

提案: 回答要语法正确并完整表达观点。使用连接词（first, secondly, finally），用更准确短语（"be close to nature", "refresh the mind"），并补全最后一句的意思（"have the same interests"）。

例: First, parks are convenient places to exercise, like jogging or tai chi. Secondly, being in a park helps people feel closer to nature and refreshes the mind in the morning. Finally, parks are good for meeting people who share similar interests, such as dog walking or group exercises.

提案: 注意事实准确性（喜马拉雅山不是中国境内最高峰的单一说法要谨慎），语言要更简洁并减少填充词（uh）。说明原因和具体想做的活动，例如路线或风景。

例: I would love to hike in the Himalayas because of the breathtaking scenery and the challenge. Specifically, I'd like to try a trekking route in Nepal to experience high-altitude landscapes and visit remote mountain villages.

提案: “went to the Gallery Museum” 可以更自然地说成 "visited a gallery"。句子要更流畅，说明具体展览或感受，并修正被动或错误短语（"exhibitions showed" 改为 "exhibitions on display"）。

例: Last month my husband and I visited a contemporary art gallery in Shanghai. There were several exhibitions on display featuring both local and international artists, and I especially enjoyed a series of paintings by a well-known Chinese artist.

× Not quite a lot because my apartment is close to my office within walking distance, about 10 minutes walking, so I don't have a lot of chance to walk a lot.

✓ Not quite a lot because my apartment is close to my office — within walking distance, about a 10-minute walk — so I don't have many opportunities to walk much.

句子中时态总体为一般现在时，但有词汇和搭配问题：使用“10 minutes walking”不符合英语惯用表达，应该说“a 10-minute walk”；“a lot of chance”应改为复数或量词搭配“many opportunities”；重复使用“walk a lot/much”也不自然。改为一般现在时的正确搭配，保持现在习惯性的表达。建议多用固定搭配（a 10-minute walk, many opportunities, walk much）。

× And besides that in weekends I can work a lot in shopping.

✓ And besides that, on weekends I do a lot of shopping.

原句时态与用词混乱：“in weekends”应为介词短语“on weekends”；“I can work a lot in shopping”是不自然的表达，应使用“do a lot of shopping”表示经常性的购物行为，使用一般现在时描述习惯性活动。

× Yes, I remember the one I started in primary school.

✓ Yes, I remember the time I started in primary school.

这里要表达“我记得我开始……的那段时间/事情”，应使用“the time”而不是“the one”；句中为回忆过去的内容，用一般过去时或现在时完成皆可，但“remember the time”更自然。原句“the one I started”结构不完整且含义不清。建议使用“the time I started”或“when I started”。

× There are so many activities held by school and we need to work a lot from school to the nature park and it's very interesting, but it's also tired for children.

✓ There were so many activities held by the school, and we often had to walk a lot from school to the nature park. It was very interesting, but it was also tiring for the children.

描述过去的活动应使用过去时：“there are”应为“there were”；“held by school”需加定冠词“the school”；“need to work a lot from school to the nature park”意思不清，应该是“had to walk a lot from school to the nature park”；形容感受时用形容词，“it's also tired”应为“it was also tiring”。保持过去时一致性。

× Uh, first of all, it very convenient for us to do some exercise in the park and it also the good place for us to close to the nature and to refresh our mind in the morning.

✓ Uh, first of all, it's very convenient for us to do some exercise in the park, and it's also a good place for us to get close to nature and refresh our minds in the morning.

句中缺少系动词“it's”；“the good place”应为不定冠词“a good place”；“close to the nature”错误搭配，应为“get close to nature”或“be close to nature”；“refresh our mind”习惯用复数“refresh our minds”。这些都是形容词/副词和固定搭配问题，句子需用正确的谓语和冠词。

× And besides that, I also think it's a good place to make friends with other strangers that have the same.

✓ And besides that, I also think it's a good place to make friends with other people who have the same interests.

原句“other strangers that have the same”结构不完整且用词不当：通常说“other people”而不是“other strangers”；“that”用于指代人时应使用“who”；“have the same”后面应有名词，例如“interests”。因此补全并改为“people who have the same interests”。

× Well, I would like to climb the Himalaya mountain, uh, which is very famous on around the world and it's the highest mountain in China and there are so many climber, uh, have some hiking activities in there.

✓ Well, I would like to climb the Himalayas, which are very famous around the world. It's the highest mountains in the region, and there are so many climbers who go hiking there.

“Himalaya mountain”用法错误，通常称为“The Himalayas”或“Himalaya Mountains”，且为复数；“on around the world”不正确，改为“around the world”；“it's the highest mountain in China”不准确，喜马拉雅横跨多个国家，且应避免事实错误——改为“the highest mountains in the region”更稳妥；“climber”应为复数“climbers”，并且从句需用关系代词“who”；“have some hiking activities in there”不自然，改为“who go hiking there”。同时修正冠词和数的一致性。

× It's amazing.

✓ (Keep as) It's amazing.

句子作为对当前感受的评价，一般现在时“It’s amazing”是可以接受的。但在讲述过去经历时也可用过去时“It was amazing”。根据上下文若在回忆过去，应改为“It was amazing”。此处保留原句并提示时态选择。

× Last month I together with my husband went to the Gallery Museum in Shanghai, which is very amazing and there are so many exhibitions showed in the hall and it also showed the famous artist.

✓ Last month, my husband and I went to the Gallery Museum in Shanghai, which was amazing. There were so many exhibitions shown in the hall, and it also displayed works by famous artists.

描述过去事件应使用过去时：“which is very amazing”改为“which was amazing”；“I together with my husband went”语序不自然，改为“my husband and I went”；“exhibitions showed”语态使用不当，应为“exhibitions shown”或“exhibitions on show”；“it also showed the famous artist”应明确定语并使用复数“artists”或“works by famous artists”。保持过去时并修正被动和名词单复数搭配。