Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更简洁、语法更准确，并用连接词组织细节。改正时态和用词错误（e.g. “in daily”→“in my daily life”，“for work”→“to walk”）。可以补充一两句具体频率或时间来丰富内容。

例: Not really. I’m usually busy with work and study, so I don’t have much time to walk during the day. However, I often take a short walk after dinner to stretch my legs and clear my mind.

提案: 注意动词时态一致（过去时），避免口语化填充词，具体说明活动和频率以增加内容。不要使用夸张或不准确的数值（如“10,000 steps”除非真实）。

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often went outside with my friends to play games and explore the neighborhood. We usually spent two or three hours each afternoon walking and playing together.

提案: 注意主谓一致（“make”→“makes”），改进词汇搭配（“close to nature”），修正拼写（“chirping”而非“chopping”）。使用连接词组织原因并给出具体例子。

例: I think people enjoy walking in parks because it brings them close to nature and offers a peaceful environment. For example, parks have greenery, fresh air and birdsong, which help people relax and escape from city noise.

提案: 句子结构混乱且不完整，避免填充词（“umm”），使用条件句时注意时态（“I would”而非“I will”）。补充完整理由並给出具体活动或感受。

例: I would like to take a long walk along the beach because I love the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand between my toes. Walking there helps me relax, and I could watch the sunset while breathing in the fresh sea air.

提案: 使用正确的时态（过去时），减少重复词汇，改进词序与搭配（e.g. “the park is famous”→“a famous park in my city”）。描述更具体的细节，如花开时间或你们拍了什么照片。

例: Recently I went for a walk with my grandma in a famous park in my city. The flowers were in full bloom, so many people were there taking photos and enjoying the scenery.

× Not really, I'm busy with my work and study so in daily I don't have much time for work but sometimes I will have a short walk after dinner to stretch my legs.

✓ Not really. I'm busy with my work and studies, so I don't have much time during the day, but sometimes I take a short walk after dinner to stretch my legs.

存在动词时态和名词单复数问题。原句中“study”应为复数“studies”以匹配“my work and studies”；“in daily”不自然，应改为“during the day”；“will have a short walk”在一般现在习惯性动作中应使用一般现在时，改为“take a short walk”。建议把句子拆成两句以提高可读性。

× Yes, of course. When I was a kid I just go outside frequently with my friends to play games and just walk around our neighbors.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a kid I would go outside frequently with my friends to play games and walk around our neighborhood.

混用了时态和词汇错误。句子描述过去习惯性动作，用过去式或“would”更合适，故“go”改为“would go”；“walk around our neighbors”用词不当，应为“walk around our neighborhood”（社区/邻里）。

× It's just like I have walked 10,000 steps at that time.

✓ It was like I had walked 10,000 steps at that time.

时态不一致。句子在描述过去的情形，应使用过去完成或过去时，“have walked”是现在完成时，不适合与明确过去时间“at that time”连用，改为“had walked”或简单过去“walked”。

× In my opinion, many people like to walk in parks because it make them close to the nature and park is a quiet place that include greenery, the fresh air and the bird chopping so it's a nice place to walk.

✓ In my opinion, many people like to walk in parks because it makes them feel close to nature, and parks are quiet places that include greenery, fresh air and birdsong, so they're nice places to walk.

存在主谓一致和词汇搭配错误。“it make”应为“it makes”；“close to the nature”中“the”多余，改为“close to nature”；“park is a quiet place”应复数或前后一致，改为“parks are quiet places”；“include”后名词不应加定冠词并且“the bird chopping”错误，应为“birdsong”。另外改用复数保持一致。

× I will have alarm work by the beach if I have the chance because I really like the umm sound of the waves and the sand between my toes.

✓ I would like to take a long walk by the beach if I had the chance because I really like the sound of the waves and the sand between my toes.

情态和时态使用不当。条件句“if I had the chance”是假设，主句应使用“would”而不是简单将来“will”；“have alarm work”不合语义，改为“take a long walk”。去掉犹豫词“umm”。

× I love this feeling and I think by the beach you can enjoy the.

✓ I love this feeling, and I think you can enjoy it by the beach.

句子结构不完整，缺少宾语。原句末尾“enjoy the.”未说明宾语，应改为“enjoy it”并调整词序使表达更自然。

× I just went for a walk with my grandma lately in the park which is really famous in my city and recently the park just bloomed much across so many people just to capture a moment.

✓ I recently went for a walk with my grandma in a park that is really famous in my city. The park has recently bloomed, so many people went there to capture the moment.

时态和词序混乱。把“lately”改为“recently”，并分成两句更清晰。“just bloomed much across”是不自然的表达，改为“has recently bloomed”；“so many people just to capture a moment”缺少谓语，改为“so many people went there to capture the moment”。