Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장의 의미 전달이 혼란스럽고 문법 오류가 많습니다. 우선 'I don't work in my life'는 의미가 맞지 않으므로 'I don't walk much'와 같이 주제를 바로 표현하세요. 또한 빈도 표현과 시간 표현은 정확하게 하세요(예: 'once or twice at the weekend' 또는 'once or twice on weekends'). 문장은 최대 3-4개로 간결하게 유지하고 연결어를 사용해 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: I don't walk much during the week because I'm busy with work, but I usually go for a walk once or twice on weekends when the weather is nice.

提案: 과거 경험을 말할 때 시제와 동사의 형태를 정확히 사용하세요. 'I did more when more work'는 의미가 불분명합니다. 학교에서 일했다면 그 사실을 분명히 하고, 언제 어떻게 걸었는지 구체적인 세부사항(장소, 빈도, 누구와 함께)을 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, I used to go for walks more often when I was a child because I attended a school near a park, so I would walk there with my friends after classes.

提案: 응답이 모호하고 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 질문에는 일반적인 이유들을 제시하고, 각각에 대해 짧은 설명을 덧붙이세요. 연결어(For example, Also, Because 등)를 사용하면 논리 흐름이 좋아집니다.

例: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and clear their minds. For example, they can talk with friends in a quiet environment and enjoy fresh air away from busy streets.

提案: 가정문 표현과 장소 표현이 어색합니다. 'If I had the chance' 같은 가정문으로 시작하고, 장소를 정확히 말하세요('near a lake' 등). 이유는 한 문장으로 간결하게 설명하세요.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk by a lake because I enjoy being in the sunshine and listening to the water.

提案: 최근 활동을 말할 때는 장소와 활동을 명확히 연결하세요. 'went to go support in Japan'는 의미가 불분명합니다. 언제 갔는지, 왜 갔는지, 산책을 했는지 구체적으로 말하고 시제 오류를 고치세요.

例: Recently I visited Japan for a short trip. While I was there, I walked in a snowy park near my hotel and enjoyed the winter scenery.

× Actually, I don't work in my life, but I'm sometimes once or twice in the weekend when the weather is nice.

✓ Actually, I don't work during the week, but I sometimes go for a walk once or twice on the weekend when the weather is nice.

The original sentence has incorrect time expression and missing main verb for walking. 'Work in my life' is wrong — likely meant 'work during the week'. 'I'm sometimes once or twice' mixes verb forms. Use 'I sometimes go for a walk once or twice on the weekend' to show habit. Use correct prepositions 'during the week' and 'on the weekend'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× MMM, let me see. Yes, I did more when more work when I was young because I have been working in the school.

✓ Yes, I walked more when I was young because I used to work at the school.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'did more' and 'more work' are unclear. Use past simple 'walked' for habitual past action. 'Have been working' is present perfect continuous and conflicts with 'when I was young' — use 'used to work' or 'worked' and 'at the school' for correct preposition. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Usually people walk in park during talk about their life. Between any papers.

✓ Usually people walk in the park to talk about their lives or to take a break from paperwork.

Missing article: 'in park' should be 'in the park'. 'During talk about their life' is ungrammatical; use 'to talk about their lives'. 'Between any papers' is unclear; likely 'to take a break from paperwork'. Correct plural 'lives' for people. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Uh, I have the chance to work. I go, I hope to go near of lake because I enjoy the sun.

✓ If I had the chance, I would go for a long walk near a lake because I enjoy the sun.

Question asked a hypothetical: use conditional 'If I had the chance, I would...'. Original 'I have the chance to work. I go, I hope to go near of lake' mixes tenses and wrong preposition 'near of lake' — correct is 'near a lake'. 'Enjoy the sun' is fine but combine into one clear conditional sentence. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Oh, recently I went to go support in Japan and. There I I worked there in the snow.

✓ Oh, recently I went to Japan to support an event. I worked there in the snow.

Redundant verbs: 'went to go' should be 'went to' or 'went to ... to support'. 'Support in Japan' is missing the object — specify 'support an event' or similar. Remove duplicate 'There I I'. Use past simple 'worked' for completed past action and keep 'in the snow' as a modifier. Grammar problem type ID:5