Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and natural: use 'walk' not 'work', keep sentences concise, and give one or two clear reasons. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, pronouns) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I walk a lot these days because I want to stay fit and improve my health. Walking helps me keep my weight down and makes me feel more energetic.

提案: Answer the past question directly using past tense. Say whether you often walked as a child and give a simple reason or example. Keep to 1–3 clear sentences and use linking words such as 'when' or 'because'.

例: Yes, I often walked outside when I was a child because my family lived near a park. I used to play games and explore with my friends after school.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting points with correct vocabulary (e.g. 'relaxing', 'nature'). Use linking phrases like 'for example' or 'also' to connect ideas. Keep it concise and grammatical.

例: People like walking in parks because the natural surroundings are relaxing and reduce stress. For example, trees and fresh air make walks peaceful, and some people enjoy walking with friends for company.

提案: Use a conditional correctly ('If I had the chance') and state the place clearly. Give specific reasons why, using correct verb forms and linking words like 'because' and 'so'. Avoid unclear phrases like 'can't see the children laying'.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a quiet park because I enjoy being close to nature. The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere help me think and relax.

提案: Answer with a clear past location and describe why you went there using simple, correct phrases. Use past tense consistently and give one specific reason or result. Replace metaphors like 'broke deal with my brain' with clearer expressions.

例: I went to the local park last weekend to relax and review my lessons. Walking there cleared my mind and helped me concentrate on my studies.

× Yes, and recently I'd like to work a lot for my health and my body.

✓ Yes, recently I like to walk a lot for my health and my body.

The original uses 'I'd like' (would like) which expresses preference and conflicts with 'recently' habitual action; also 'work' is incorrect verb choice for walking. Use present simple 'I like' for habitual actions and 'walk' as correct verb. Suggest replacing 'I'd like to work' with 'I like to walk' or 'I've been walking a lot recently.'

× I want to keep body is slim and make your hair do better, so I very work well in recently.

✓ I want to keep my body slim and make my hair look better, so I have been exercising a lot recently.

Pronouns are incorrect: 'body' needs possessive 'my'; 'your hair' should be 'my hair' referring to the speaker. 'Make your hair do better' is ungrammatical; use 'make my hair look better.' 'Very work well in recently' is incorrect tense and adverb placement; 'have been exercising a lot recently' fits meaning. Use present perfect continuous for recent repeated actions.

× Now when I will drive over I really do work but because I lied to him now they're playing with my friends.

✓ Now when I drive over, I usually walk, but because I lied to him, now they're playing with my friends.

Future 'will' is incorrectly used for habitual present; use present simple 'drive.' 'I really do work' is unclear—likely meaning 'I usually walk' or 'I go on foot.' 'They're playing with my friends' conflicts with 'because I lied to him'—context unclear but grammar: maintain tense consistency and correct verb choices. Also 'lied to him' may be wrong meaning; if intended 'left him' use 'left'.

× So maybe please call a word because I work by foot not car.

✓ So maybe please call me because I go on foot, not by car.

'Call a word' is incorrect; use 'call me.' 'Work by foot' is wrong: use 'go on foot' or 'walk' and 'not by car' or 'not in a car.' Prepositions 'on foot' and 'by car' are standard.

× Because when you work in park, you. Will we do work with your friend or yourself and you can see the nature in around you so relax and peaceful.

✓ Because when you walk in a park, you can go with your friends or by yourself, and you can see the nature around you, which is relaxing and peaceful.

'Work in park' should be 'walk in a park.' Missing article before 'park' requires 'a park.' Sentence fragments and incorrect pronouns: 'you. Will we do work' is ungrammatical; replace with 'you can go.' 'Your friend' should be plural 'your friends' or 'a friend.' 'In around you' should be 'around you.' Use '-ing' form 'relaxing' to describe nature. Ensure coherent sentence structure.

× If I have a chance to take a long work, I will be to work in the park because I can't see the children laying and I can thinking when I were about about nature, I can breathe and thinking.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would walk in the park because I enjoy seeing children playing, and I can think about nature, breathe, and relax.

Mixed conditional: 'If I have a chance' should be subjunctive 'If I had the chance' for hypothetical; use 'would' + base verb. 'Work' should be 'walk.' 'I will be to work' is ungrammatical. 'Children laying' should be 'children playing.' 'I can thinking when I were about about nature' has wrong verb forms and tense; use 'I can think about nature.' Use parallel verbs: 'think, breathe, and relax.'

× I was in a broke deal with my brain to relax and thinking about the lesson I study.

✓ I went for a walk to clear my mind and think about the lesson I was studying.

'I was in a broke deal with my brain' is unintelligible; likely meaning 'clear my mind.' Use 'went for a walk' (past simple) for a completed action. 'Thinking about the lesson I study' mixes tenses; use 'think about the lesson I was studying' or 'I study' -> 'I am studying.' Maintain past continuous or past simple consistently.

× I fly the peaceful in my mind and this help me relax.

✓ I feel peaceful in my mind and this helps me relax.

'I fly the peaceful' is nonsensical; use 'I feel peaceful.' 'This help' requires third person singular agreement 'helps.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and choose correct adjective 'peaceful' after 'feel.'