Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Content is relevant and answers directly, but there are grammar and word-choice issues (“react” likely meant “relax” or “reflect”), some redundancy, and sentence flow could be improved. Use one clear topic sentence, then one or two specific details with linking words. Pay attention to verb forms and collocations (e.g., “a 30-minute round trip”, “helps me relax and stay healthy”).

例: Yes. I walk regularly because my office is only a 30-minute round trip from my home, so I often commute on foot. Moreover, I enjoy walking in my free time since it helps me relax and keeps me fit.

提案: The answer addresses the question and gives context, but includes awkward phrasing (“go outside for walking”, “raised up”) and an unfinished ending (“So it was”). Be concise: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details using correct past structures and natural collocations (e.g., “we were raised in the countryside”, “we used to walk”).

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. My younger brother and I would explore the countryside around our home, walking past fields and small farms, which was fun and adventurous.

提案: Good idea points, but vocabulary and phrasing are awkward (“straying atmosphere”, “rich in greens”). Be more precise and natural: use collocations like “peaceful atmosphere”, “green spaces”, and connect ideas with linking words such as “also” or “in addition”.

例: I think people enjoy parks because of the peaceful atmosphere and abundant green space. In addition, seeing others exercise there often motivates people to be more active and healthy.

提案: Response answers the question and gives reasons, but contains errors (“Long Walk” capitalized incorrectly, “vibrant provider life” is unclear). Use concise, natural phrases and correct word choices (e.g., “vibrant plant and animal life”, “I would choose the mountains”). Keep sentences connected with linking words like “because” or “so”.

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in the mountains because I enjoy the peaceful scenery and the vibrant plant and animal life. Walking along a quiet trail helps me unwind and recharge.

提案: The answer is specific but has several mistakes: awkward phrasing (“because I was walking from home”), incorrect words (“400 meter truck” likely “track”), and punctuation/capitalization issues. Aim for a clear topic sentence followed by concise details: where, when, what you did, and how you felt. Use correct units and nouns.

例: I went for a walk during my lunch break today. I walked to the nearest park and did three laps around a 400-metre track to get some fresh air, which was really relaxing.

× Yes, walking is a part of my daily routine because my office is a 30 minute round trip from my home, so I walk to commute.

✓ Yes, walking is a part of my daily routine because my office is a 30-minute round trip from my home, so I walk to commute.

The sentence mainly needs a hyphenation correction for the compound adjective '30-minute' before 'round trip'. This is not a verb -ing error, but it fits under maintaining correct modifier form. Suggestion: use hyphens for compound adjectives before nouns: '30-minute round trip'.

× I also like walking in my free time because it helps me react and stay healthy.

✓ I also like walking in my free time because it helps me relax and stay healthy.

The verb 'react' is incorrect in this context; the intended meaning is to become calm or recover from stress, which is 'relax'. This is a lexical choice issue tied to verb use with -ing activities. Suggestion: choose verbs that match the intended meaning; here 'relax' is appropriate.

× Yes, when I was a child I used to go outside for walking with my younger brother because we were raised up in the countryside which had lots of agricultural fields and small farms.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I used to go outside for walks with my younger brother because we were raised in the countryside, which had lots of agricultural fields and small farms.

Errors: 'for walking' is unnatural; use 'for walks' (noun). 'Raised up' is incorrect; use 'raised' or 'brought up'. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which had...'. Suggestions: use 'used to' with noun 'walks' for habitual past actions and use 'raised' without 'up'.

× So it was.

✓ So we did.

The fragment 'So it was.' is unclear and unnatural in response to the previous sentence. It should reflect that they went outside, e.g. 'So we did.' or 'So we often did.' Suggestion: provide a clear subject and verb to complete the thought.

× In my opinion, it's because they are enjoying a peaceful and straying atmosphere which is rich in greens.

✓ In my opinion, it's because they enjoy a peaceful, relaxing atmosphere that is rich in greenery.

Problems: 'are enjoying' present continuous is less appropriate for general statement; use simple present 'enjoy'. 'Straying' is incorrect; likely intended 'relaxing'. 'Rich in greens' is unnatural; use 'rich in greenery'. Also change 'which' to 'that' or rephrase. Suggestion: use simple present for general truths and choose correct adjectives (relaxing) and nouns (greenery).

× Additionally, seeing people walking or strolling motivates them to be healthy and active.

✓ Additionally, seeing people walking or strolling motivates them to be healthier and more active.

Minor issue: 'to be healthy and active' can be improved to 'to be healthier and more active' to indicate comparative motivation. Use adjective 'healthier' and 'more active' for clearer meaning. Suggestion: prefer comparative forms when describing motivation to improve.

× If I had a chance to take Long Walk, I would choose a mountain because I love that peaceful scenery and the sight of vibrant provider life.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would choose a mountain because I love that peaceful scenery and the sight of vibrant plant life.

Problems: 'had a chance' is acceptable but 'had the chance' is more natural. 'Long Walk' should be lowercase and not a proper noun unless specific; 'a long walk' is correct. 'Provider life' is incorrect; likely 'plant life'. Suggestion: use articles appropriately and correct noun choice.

× Walking along the quiet trail makes me unwind and recharge.

✓ Walking along a quiet trail helps me unwind and recharge.

'Makes me unwind' is grammatically possible but 'helps me unwind' is more natural. Also article 'the quiet trail' implies a specific trail; use 'a quiet trail' unless referring to a known one. Suggestion: prefer 'helps me' for activities that facilitate relaxation and choose appropriate articles.

× Today I went for a walk during my lunch break because I was walking from home.

✓ Today I went for a walk during my lunch break and walked from home.

Redundant phrasing 'went for a walk... because I was walking from home' is awkward. Use 'and walked from home' or 'because I live close to work, I walked from home.' Suggestion: simplify to a clear sequence in past tense.

× I walked to the nearest park which has a 400 meter truck.

✓ I walked to the nearest park, which has a 400-meter track.

Errors: '400 meter' needs hyphenation as '400-meter' before a noun. 'Truck' is incorrect; intended word is 'track'. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause. Suggestion: use correct vocabulary ('track') and hyphenate compound modifiers.

× I did 3 laps to get some fresh air.

✓ I did three laps to get some fresh air.

Use words for small numbers are acceptable in digits, but in formal writing spell out numbers under ten: 'three laps'. This is minor style rather than strict grammar. Suggestion: write numbers under ten as words in formal responses.

× It was really relaxing.

✓ It was really relaxing.

Sentence is correct. No grammatical change needed. Suggestion: none.