Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Correct minor grammar issues (e.g., "go to the parking on foot" → "walk to the parking").

例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk to the parking because my workplace car park is about ten minutes away, so I walk roughly twenty minutes a day in total.

提案: Clarify meaning and use correct vocabulary. Give a direct answer, then provide a specific memory or routine with linking words. Avoid unclear words like "charred" and "next born."

例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child. For example, I used to play and walk around the neighborhood with my sister and brother every afternoon, which was fun and helped us make friends.

提案: Give a clear, organized reason and specific benefits. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "for example") and correct grammar ("keeps" "clears").

例: I think people walk in parks because it is relaxing and good for health. For example, walking in fresh air reduces stress and improves fitness, so many people choose parks to exercise.

提案: Answer directly and specifically. State the location, then explain reasons with linking words. Use correct expressions (e.g., "parks," "refreshing air").

例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a quiet park by the river because the peaceful atmosphere and fresh air help me relax and clear my mind.

提案: Provide a clear, specific recent example. Start with a topic sentence stating where you went, then add when and why. Avoid vague phrases and repetition.

例: Lately I went for a walk in the city park last Sunday. It was busy with other people, but I enjoyed walking there for about forty minutes to relax after a hectic week.

× I love go to outside by walking because I love a joy with my friends and my next born.

✓ I love going outside and walking because I enjoy spending time with my friends and my younger sibling.

The verb 'love' should be followed by the gerund 'going' not the base form 'go' (verb + -ing). 'Go to outside' is incorrect preposition/word order; use 'going outside'. 'A joy' is incorrect; use 'enjoy' plus gerund 'spending time'. 'My next born' is nonstandard; 'younger sibling' or 'my younger brother/sister' is appropriate.

× Yeah, it makes me so funny and spending my time with my sister and my brother every day.

✓ Yes, it makes me very happy, and I spend time with my sister and brother every day.

'Funny' means 'amusing' rather than 'happy'; use 'happy' or 'joyful'. 'Makes me so funny and spending my time' mixes structures; change to 'makes me very happy, and I spend time...' Also change 'my sister and my brother' to 'my sister and brother' for naturalness.

× Yes, I walk a lot. I can go parking on foot because my workplace parking is far away, so I walk about 10 minutes each way.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot. I can walk to the parking because my workplace parking is far away, so I walk about ten minutes each way.

'Go parking on foot' is awkward; use 'walk to the parking' or 'walk to the parking lot'. Using 'can' is acceptable but 'can go parking on foot' mixes verb forms. Spell out numbers in speech transcripts as words is optional; here 'ten minutes' is clearer. Also 'workplace parking' is acceptable but 'the parking lot at my workplace' is clearer.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The original is understandable but non-idiomatic: use 'for a walk' rather than 'to have a walk'. The question uses past tense auxiliary 'Did', so the main verb should be base form 'go' which is correct; only prepositional phrase needed adjustment.

× Yes, but I was charred.

✓ Yes, but I was shy.

'Charred' is incorrect word choice meaning 'burned'. Likely intended 'shy' (a past feeling). Choose the adjective that correctly expresses the intended meaning.

× So in my personality, I think keep your life to work in part because it's natural and gets to clear when you're waiting in your health.

✓ In my view, walking fits into life and work because it's natural and clears your mind while you wait and helps your health.

The original has several preposition and vocabulary errors: 'in my personality' should be 'in my view' or 'personally'. 'Keep your life to work in part' is unclear; rephrase to 'walking fits into life and work'. 'Gets to clear when you're waiting in your health' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'clears your mind' and 'helps your health'.

× It's make a good health, I think.

✓ It improves health, I think.

Use correct verb form 'it makes' or better 'it improves' and 'good health' collocation is 'improves health' or 'is good for your health'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'It makes' not 'It's make'.

× For me, if I have a chance, I enjoy working my heart in.

✓ If I had the chance, I would enjoy walking to strengthen my heart.

The conditional should use hypothetical structure: 'If I had the chance, I would...' Also 'working my heart in' is nonstandard; likely meant 'exercise my heart' or 'strengthen my heart' — 'walking to strengthen my heart' is clearer.

× I walking in parts because it's uh, quiet and it gets me more comfy and such air.

✓ I like walking in parks because it's quiet and it makes me more comfortable and gives me fresh air.

Use the gerund 'walking' correctly after 'I like' and correct spelling 'parks' not 'parts'. 'Gets me more comfy' is informal; use 'makes me more comfortable'. 'Such air' is incorrect; use 'fresh air'.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where have you gone for a walk lately?

When asking about recent experience, present perfect 'have you gone' or 'have you been' is more natural with 'lately'. The original uses simple past 'Did' which can be acceptable, but with 'lately' present perfect is preferred.

× I think for me, I think the most people, and a lot of people can be more lately, yeah, because it's a busy time. It's not to get me more fast.

✓ I think many people have been walking more lately because it's a busy time. It doesn't help me go faster.

The original is incoherent with repetition and incorrect structures. Simplify: 'many people have been walking more lately' (present perfect continuous idea). 'It's not to get me more fast' is ungrammatical; perhaps intended 'It doesn't make me faster' or 'It doesn't help me get around faster' depending on meaning.