Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, use correct verb forms, avoid fillers, and limit to 3–4 supporting details. Give specific routine details (when, how far, and one clear benefit) and use linking words (for example, because, so, therefore).

例: Yes, I walk every morning. I wake up at 6:00 and usually walk 2–5 kilometres in my neighbourhood because it helps me stay fit and improve my stamina. In addition, it clears my mind and prepares me for the day.

提案: Answer directly, use past simple correctly, and combine clauses smoothly. Avoid repetition and split into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details (where, with whom, why it mattered).

例: Yes, I walked outside often as a child. I used to go to the village ground every day with my friends, and because many of them cared about fitness I was motivated to join them and stay active.

提案: Be specific and logical: give two clear reasons and use linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'elderly people' not 'old age citizens'), avoid vague phrases, and use examples. Keep under five sentences.

例: People like to walk in parks mainly because the environment is pleasant and safe. For example, families enjoy spending time together on benches, and elderly people prefer parks because the paths are flat and peaceful, which helps their mobility and wellbeing.

提案: Use conditional correctly and avoid repetition. Start with a clear conditional sentence and add two concise reasons (fresh air, socialising). Use linking words like 'because' and 'also'.

例: If I had the chance, I would go for a long walk in the mountains. The fresh air and scenery would be refreshing, and walking there with friends would help me socialise and keep fit.

提案: Use correct past tense and be concise: state where and what you did, and one clear reason if relevant. Remove ums and unclear phrases. If mentioning a competition, explain briefly how the walk related to preparation.

例: Recently I visited the nearby park and walked with a friend. We ran about five kilometres because I am training for an upcoming race next month.

× 'Yes, I do walking regularly in the morning because I am actually so in the morning, I wake up early and then go for a morning walk, uh to the distance of 2 to 5 kilometer so so that I can maintain my speed and uh. It also benefits me to become a healthy person.'

✓ 'Yes, I walk regularly in the morning because I usually wake up early and go for a morning walk of about 2 to 5 kilometers so that I can keep my pace. It also helps me stay healthy.'

'do walking' is incorrect because after 'do' we use base verbs for emphasis (do walk) or simply use the simple present 'I walk'. Use 'usually' instead of 'actually so' for frequency. Use 'go for a morning walk of about 2 to 5 kilometers' for natural measurement phrasing. 'It also helps me stay healthy' uses correct verb and collocation.

× 'When I was a child, I went to the ground of my village where I walked daily with my friends. A lot of my friends are also very keen and give a lot of importance to their physical health and I also gain lot of motivation from. Them.'

✓ 'When I was a child, I used to go to the village ground where I walked daily with my friends. Many of my friends were very keen on their physical health and I also gained a lot of motivation from them.'

'went' and 'walked' can be improved to 'used to go' to indicate habitual past. 'Are' should be 'were' to match past time frame. 'Give a lot of importance to' is unnatural; use 'were very keen on their physical health'. 'I also gain' should be past 'I also gained'. Move 'them' to the end of the sentence for correct object position.

× 'Some people go to the parks to enjoy with their near and dear ones.'

✓ 'Some people go to parks to spend time with their near and dear ones.'

'enjoy with' is not the usual collocation; use 'spend time with' or 'enjoy time with'. 'go to the parks' becomes 'go to parks' for general statement.

× 'Most of the old age citizens they always prefer to nearby parks where they can choose rice with their teammates as well as walk with on the green grass which benefit them to.'

✓ 'Most elderly citizens usually prefer nearby parks where they can sit with their companions and walk on the grass, which benefits them.'

'Most of the old age citizens they always' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'Most elderly citizens usually'. 'Prefer to nearby parks' should be 'prefer nearby parks'. 'choose rice with their teammates' is likely 'sit' or 'spend time' and 'teammates' is wrong in context; 'companions' or 'friends' fits. 'walk with on the green grass' should be 'walk on the grass'. Relative clause 'which benefit them to' needs subject-verb agreement and correct infinitive: 'which benefits them'.

× 'If I have a chance, I will definitely go to any park or in mountain mountain areas because I will get the fresh air.'

✓ 'If I had the chance, I would definitely go to a park or to the mountains because I would get fresh air.'

Second conditional is more natural for hypothetical situations; use 'If I had the chance, I would...'. Use 'a park or the mountains' and omit 'the' before 'fresh air'. Avoid repeating 'mountain'.

× 'I love to enjoy with my friends. Everyone comes with me.'

✓ 'I love enjoying time with my friends; they all come with me.'

Use 'enjoying time with' rather than 'enjoy with'. 'Everyone comes with me' is acceptable but 'they all come with me' is more natural.

× 'It benefits me to socialize as well as to maintain my health so and stay fit.'

✓ 'It helps me socialize as well as maintain my health and stay fit.'

'Benefits me to socialize' is not natural; use 'helps me socialize'. Remove extraneous 'so' and correct verb forms 'maintain' and 'stay' in parallel structure.

× 'Recently I visit the nearby park and I enjoyed the walk with my friend.'

✓ 'Recently I visited the nearby park and enjoyed a walk with my friend.'

When referring to a recent past event, use past simple 'visited'. 'I enjoyed the walk' is fine but 'enjoyed a walk' is more natural. Ensure tense consistency.

× 'Uh, we together went to five kilometers run and, uh, uh, although my competition is coming, uh, in upcoming month and I am preparing for that gibbling area.'

✓ 'We ran together for five kilometers. My competition is coming next month and I am preparing for that event.'

'went to five kilometers run' is ungrammatical; use 'ran for five kilometers' or 'went for a five-kilometre run'. 'In upcoming month' should be 'next month'. 'Gibbling area' is unclear; likely 'event' or 'competition', so replace with 'event'. Ensure tense and word choice are correct.