Walking— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking phrase. Avoid filler words like "umm" and repetition.

例: Not really. I currently spend most of my time at home, but I often take a 30-minute walk on my days off to relax my body and clear my mind.

提案: Good content and vivid details — tighten the structure and finish the sentence. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid trailing off.

例: Yes, I did. I often walked around the neighborhood, and because our house was near the beach I would stroll along the shore to watch the sunset and listen to the breeze.

提案: Correct points but watch grammar and repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, a linking word, and a specific example of benefits.

例: I think people like walking in parks because it is an easy form of exercise and helps improve overall health. Moreover, parks offer pleasant scenery and fresh air, which makes the activity more enjoyable.

提案: Avoid sentence fragments and repetition. Give a clear reason and one concrete image to illustrate your preference. Keep it within a few well-structured sentences.

例: I would choose a long walk along the beach because I love watching the sunset. For example, I enjoy seeing the sky change from blue to orange and pink as the sun goes down.

提案: Correct the tense and be more precise. Start with a clear past tense statement, provide a linking word, and give one reason or feeling with fewer hesitations.

例: I went for a short walk to a nearby supermarket to run some errands. It only took about ten minutes, and I didn't enjoy it much because the weather was very humid.

× Not really, I've been spending a lot of time at home. I used to go for a walk umm during my offs I would like briefly walk for like 30 minutes just to umm help my body and mind relax and.

✓ Not really, I've been spending a lot of time at home. I used to go for a walk during my days off; I would briefly walk for about 30 minutes to help my body and mind relax.

Errors: incorrect noun form 'offs' and awkward use of 'would like briefly walk' and extra conjunction 'and'. Correction: change 'offs' to 'days off' (common collocation), remove 'like' when approximating time except 'about' or 'for about', and use infinitive 'to help' to express purpose. Suggestion: say 'I used to go for a walk during my days off. I would briefly walk for about 30 minutes to help my body and mind relax.'

× Yes I did I usually walk around the neighborhood and since our house is near the beach I walk along the shore and enjoy the beauty of the sunset and also I love hearing the sound of the breeze so.

✓ Yes, I did. I usually walked around the neighborhood, and since our house was near the beach I walked along the shore and enjoyed the beauty of the sunset; I also loved hearing the sound of the breeze.

Errors: tense inconsistency. The question asks about childhood (past), but present simple verbs 'walk', 'enjoy', 'love' are used. Correction: change present simple to past simple ('walked','enjoyed','loved') and change 'is' to 'was' to match past timeframe. Suggestion: keep all verbs in past when referring to habitual past actions.

× I think people enjoy walking in parts because it's an easy way of exercise and improve overall health. So, you know, uh, walking in parks, you can enjoy the the views and the pleasant environment.

✓ I think people enjoy walking in parks because it's an easy form of exercise and improves overall health. Walking in parks lets you enjoy the views and the pleasant environment.

Errors: 'parts' is a typo for 'parks' (lexical), 'way of exercise' is a wrong prepositional collocation—use 'form of exercise', and verb agreement 'improve' should be 'improves' to match singular subject 'it'. Also remove duplicate 'the'. Suggestion: use 'form of exercise' and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× I would like to have a long walk near the beach or along the shore because as I mentioned, I love seeing sunsets. I love. Looking at the the sky changes in sky it changes in colour from blue then it will turn.

✓ I would like to take a long walk near the beach or along the shore because, as I mentioned, I love seeing sunsets. I love watching the sky change color from blue to other shades as the sun sets.

Errors: awkward phrasing 'have a long walk' (use 'take a long walk'), sentence fragments 'I love. Looking at...', duplicated 'the', incorrect verb form 'changes' and redundant 'it changes', and awkward sequence 'from blue then it will turn'. Correction: use 'watching the sky change color from blue to other shades' and 'take' for walking. Suggestion: use 'take a walk' and simple present participle 'watching' to describe general preference.

× I want for a short walk to 1 nearby supermarket Tehran errands. It's just brief walk for about like total of 10 minutes. So I didn't enjoy it much because the weather is humid.

✓ I went for a short walk to a nearby supermarket to run errands. It was just a brief walk of about 10 minutes in total, so I didn't enjoy it much because the weather was humid.

Errors: 'want' is incorrect—should be past 'went'; '1' should be 'a'; 'Tehran errands' unclear and likely 'to run errands' needed; article omissions 'a brief walk' and 'a nearby supermarket'; tense inconsistency 'is humid' should be past 'was humid' to match past action. Suggestion: use past simple for completed actions and include articles: 'I went for a short walk to a nearby supermarket to run errands. It was a brief walk of about 10 minutes, so I didn't enjoy it much because the weather was humid.'