Keys— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct plural and article forms, start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “but,” “so”). Avoid redundancy.

例: Yes. I usually carry several keys — my house key, office key and a bike lock — all on a keychain. It used to feel heavy, but now I am used to it, so it isn’t a problem.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence, explain why it happened, and describe the consequence. Reduce filler words and grammatical errors (e.g., tense, word order). Use linking words like “because” and “so.”

例: Yes, I have lost my keys several times because I was rushing to leave home. As a result, it was very stressful and I often had to wait for my housemate to let me back in.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give a clear reason using correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases like “hit my bed.” Use linking words (“because,” “so,” “therefore”) and correct tense and word order.

例: Sometimes I do forget my keys because I oversleep and then rush to work. Because I am in a hurry, I sometimes leave without checking I have them.

提案: Give a clear opinion and then two specific, logical reasons. Fix grammar and vocabulary (e.g., “paid and a garden” unclear, “they feed my pets” not “eat my fits”). Use linking words like “for example” or “so” to connect reasons.

例: Yes, I think it is a good idea. For example, my neighbour can water my plants and feed my pets when I am away, so I feel more secure leaving the house under their care.

× Yes, I have office key, my house key and my bike lock and I have a key chain so it's not a problem for me.

✓ Yes, I have an office key, my house key, and my bike lock, and I have a key chain so it's not a problem for me.

The noun 'office key' is countable and needs the indefinite article 'an'. Also commas were needed to separate items in the list. Use 'an' before vowel sounds; include serial commas for clarity.

× Before it was too heavy but I am used to it now.

✓ Before it was too heavy, but I am used to it now.

This sentence mainly needs a comma to join two independent clauses with 'but'. The verb tenses (past 'was' and present 'am used to') are appropriate and show contrast.

× Yes, I lost my keys many times when I leave my home, uh, rush, so sometimes I forget.

✓ Yes, I have lost my keys many times when I leave my home in a rush, so sometimes I forget.

Use present perfect 'have lost' to indicate experiences up to now. 'When I leave my home, rush' is ungrammatical; use the phrase 'in a rush' to describe hurried departures.

× It's uh, terrible for me.

✓ It's terrible for me.

Remove filled pauses like 'uh' in written speech. The sentence is otherwise correct; keeping it concise improves clarity.

× I when I came back home, I need to wait for my others, uh, housemate.

✓ When I come back home, I need to wait for my other housemate.

Tense consistency: use present 'come' and 'need' for habitual actions. 'Others housemate' is incorrect; use 'other housemate' (singular) or 'other housemates' (plural) depending on meaning. Removed filler 'uh'.

× Yes I forget sometimes I hit my bed in late that's why I woke up lately.

✓ Yes, I forget sometimes; I go to bed late, and that's why I wake up late.

Correct verbs for habitual present: 'forget', 'go to bed', 'wake up'. 'Hit my bed in late' is wrong — use 'go to bed late'. 'Woke up lately' should be 'wake up late' to indicate habit.

× But I need to go my office so I rush and I forget to bring my keys.

✓ But I need to go to my office, so I rush and forget to bring my keys.

Include preposition 'to' with 'go to my office'. For brevity and natural speech, omit the second subject 'I' before 'forget' in a coordinated clause.

× Yes it's a great idea because I have paid and a garden in my house so if I give my key with my neighbor the water in my plant and sometimes and they eat my fits when I leave my home.

✓ Yes, it's a great idea because I have a patio and a garden at my house, so if I give my key to my neighbor they can water my plants and sometimes feed my pets when I leave home.

Multiple issues corrected: 'paid' likely intended 'patio' or 'path' — I chose 'patio' as plausible; if 'paid' meant 'paid help' clarify. Use preposition 'at my house'. Use 'give my key to my neighbor' not 'with'. Use modal 'can' to express ability. 'Water my plants' and 'feed my pets' are natural collocations. Removed redundant 'my' before 'home' and filler words.