Keys— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more coherent. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct word choice (e.g. "many" not "money"), and avoid redundant phrases. Use one or two supporting details with a linking word. Keep it to a maximum of 3–4 short sentences.

例: No, I don't usually carry many keys. Usually I only take one key, and sometimes I forget to bring any at all. Because I'm often in a hurry, I try to keep my keys to a minimum.

提案: Clarify the meaning and correct vocabulary errors ("kids" should be "keys"). Give a brief specific example and a reason. Use linking words to connect the idea of past incidents to current behaviour.

例: Yes, I have. For example, when I was in primary school I lost two or three keys. Because of those incidents, my parents preferred to keep a spare key for me at home.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Combine sentences with a linking word and give one specific circumstance. Use correct phrasing such as "locked out" and "in a rush."

例: Not very often, but it happens sometimes. For instance, if I'm in a rush I have left my keys inside and ended up locked out until someone came home.

提案: Good clear opinion. Improve by making the structure more natural and giving a brief supporting reason and possible alternative. Use linking words like "because" and "therefore."

例: No, I don't think it's a good idea because a neighbour might not be home when you need your keys. Therefore, it's safer to keep a spare key in a secure place or use a key safe.

× No, I always forget one thing or another so I hardly bring money keys with myself.

✓ No, I always forget one thing or another, so I hardly bring my keys with me.

Use of prepositions and possessive pronoun is incorrect. 'with myself' is unnatural; use 'with me'. 'money keys' is likely a mistake — context requires 'my keys'. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity.

× I always only bring one key or just don't bring any key.

✓ I usually only bring one key or sometimes I don't bring any keys.

Quantifier and word order issues: 'always only' is awkward; 'usually only' fits better. 'any key' should be plural 'any keys' when referring generally. Maintain consistent adverb placement.

× Yes, I've lost at least two or three kids during my primary school, so my mom and father told me not to bring any keys with myself.

✓ Yes, I've lost at least two or three keys during primary school, so my mom and dad told me not to bring any keys with me.

Wrong noun 'kids' should be 'keys'. 'During my primary school' is unnatural; use 'during primary school' or 'when I was in primary school'. 'mom and father' -> 'mom and dad'. 'with myself' should be 'with me'. Present perfect 'I've lost' is acceptable for past experiences, but keep context consistent.

× They just open doors for me.

✓ They just opened the doors for me.

Tense mismatch: the previous clause describes a past habitual action, so simple past 'opened' is more natural. Also plural 'the doors' is clearer. If referring to ongoing habit, 'They just open the doors for me' could be correct, but context indicates past advice after incidents.

× Sometimes I just forget the keys in my house and go outside to in a rush and then I cannot get in my house.

✓ Sometimes I just forget the keys in my house and go outside in a rush, and then I cannot get into my house.

Remove the extra 'to' before 'in a rush'. Use 'get into my house' rather than 'get in my house'. Add a comma before 'and then' for clarity.

× No, I don't think it's a good idea because you cannot predict whether your neighbor is at home or outside doing other things, so it's better you control your own case.

✓ No, I don't think it's a good idea because you cannot predict whether your neighbor is at home or out doing other things, so it's better to take care of your own keys.

Phrasing 'outside doing other things' is wordy; 'out doing other things' is natural. 'control your own case' is incorrect; use 'take care of your own keys' or 'manage your own keys'. Also 'neighbor' spelling may be 'neighbour' depending on variety, but original used 'neighbour' earlier; consistent spelling should be maintained.