Keys— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and accurate: begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeated words and pronunciation slips ("kids" vs "keys"), and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") and give a concise reason and a short example. Aim for more precise vocabulary (e.g. "apartment" instead of "flat" is fine but be consistent) and correct grammar: "I prefer not to bring many keys" and "I would lose them".

例: No, I don't carry many keys. I only have one apartment, so I keep just a small set to avoid losing them. For example, when I had a larger bunch last year I often misplaced them, so now I carry only the essentials.

提案: Start with a direct response (Yes) then give a brief past example and a consequence using linking words ("so", "because"). Reduce filler words (uh, um) and avoid repetition. Use the past simple for completed events: "I lost my keys once" and then explain result: "so now I carry fewer keys."

例: Yes, I have. Once I lost my keys after leaving them in a café, so I decided to carry only a few essential keys now to avoid the same problem.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence about the present frequency, then contrast with the past using linking words ("but" or "when"). Correct phrasing: "It rarely happens now, but when I was a child it happened often." Give one specific example and avoid repeating phrases like "my mom always" twice.

例: It rarely happens now, but when I was a child I locked myself out several times. For example, once I came home from school and realized I had left the keys inside, which upset my mother.

提案: Answer directly (No) and give 2 concise reasons with linking words ("because", "so"). Avoid repetition and use correct collocations: "leave my keys with a neighbour" and "I don't trust my neighbours much." You can offer an alternative to show more flexibility (e.g. leave keys with a close family member or use a key-safe).

例: No, I wouldn't. I don't trust neighbours enough to give them my keys, because I worry about security. Instead, I would leave a spare with a family member or use a secure lockbox.

× No, I prefer not bring a lot of kids with me because, you know, I have just one flat in my city.

✓ No, I prefer not to bring a lot of keys with me because, you know, I have just one flat in my city.

The student used 'kids' instead of 'keys' which is a wrong word choice (pronoun/noun misuse). Also the verb 'prefer' requires the infinitive 'to bring' after it. Suggestion: use the correct noun 'keys' and the infinitive form 'to bring'.

× And if I had a lot of kids, I'm sure that I I lost them at all.

✓ And if I had a lot of keys, I'm sure that I would lose them all.

This mixes past tense 'had' with incorrect past form 'lost' and wrong modal. Use the conditional 'would' + base verb for unreal present/future condition. Also 'at all' is incorrect; use 'all'. Suggestion: use 'would lose' to express hypothetical outcome and correct noun 'keys'.

× I lost them also.

✓ I would lose them too.

Alone this sentence is inconsistent with the conditional context. 'Lost' is simple past; the speaker means a hypothetical result so 'would lose' is appropriate. Use 'too' instead of 'also' for natural placement.

× It's the problem that I can just forget about things and it's the main problem of me.

✓ The problem is that I can easily forget things, and it's my main problem.

Word order and pronoun use are incorrect: 'It's the problem that' should be 'The problem is that'. 'Main problem of me' is ungrammatical; use 'my main problem'. Also 'just' is awkward; 'easily' conveys meaning. Suggest reordering to 'The problem is that...'.

× Yes, exactly After this situation, I'd like to carry just a few keys uh, because yes, I tend to forget things uh, so it's the problem and I like to fix it because uh it's really, it's really bothering me now.

✓ Yes, exactly. After that situation, I'd like to carry just a few keys because I tend to forget things, so I want to fix it because it really bothers me now.

Run-on and filler words create poor structure. 'After this situation' -> 'After that situation' or 'After that incident'. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant repetition. Use 'bothers me' not 'it's really, it's really bothering me now'.

× Now it's happened rarely as possible, but when I was a kid it was a problem for me because yes, there are so many situation when I lock myself out and my mom always, my mom always was disappointed about it.

✓ Now it happens rarely, but when I was a kid it was a problem because there were so many situations when I locked myself out, and my mom was always disappointed about it.

'It's happened rarely as possible' is incorrect tense and structure. Use simple present 'it happens rarely'. Match past context with past tense 'there were', 'situations', 'locked', 'was disappointed'. Remove repetition 'my mom always'.

× I don't think that it will be a good idea to leave my keys to anybody because I I don't trust people so much.

✓ I don't think it would be a good idea to leave my keys with anybody because I don't trust people very much.

Use 'would' instead of 'will' for hypothetical opinion. Use 'with' not 'to' for leaving keys. Fix adverb 'very much' and remove duplicate 'I'.

× So I don't think, I'm not sure that I, I would try, I would trust my neighborhood neighbor because neighbor is, it's that one person who I don't trust.

✓ So I don't think I would trust my neighbour because that is one person I don't trust.

Awkward repetition and wrong structure. 'I'm not sure that I would try, I would trust' is redundant. Use 'neighbour' once and correct relative clause order: 'one person I don't trust'. Remove extra commas and repetitions for clarity.