Keys— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, vocabulary and coherence. Avoid word errors (kids → keys), shorten and structure answer: give a clear topic sentence, then one supporting reason using a linking word. Use precise words (confused, waste time) and keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I don't carry many keys. Because I find it confusing to manage lots of keys, I prefer to keep only the essentials so I don't waste time finding the right one.

提案: Focus on accuracy, clear past tense and concrete details. Correct word choice (kids → keys) and clarify the method you used to find them. Use one or two linking words and finish the thought about using the phone. Keep within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I have lost my keys a few times. To avoid that I tied a bright keyring to them so they are easier to spot, and in future I plan to attach a Bluetooth tracker to my keys so I can find them with my phone.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct many word errors. Say clearly how often it happens and what you do when it happens. Use simple, accurate vocabulary (locked out, costly, careful, ask my neighbour). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid irrelevant fragments.

例: It doesn't happen often, but I have been locked out twice. Because it was inconvenient and sometimes expensive to get back in, I now leave a spare key with a trusted neighbour so they can help me if needed.

提案: Make a clear opinion with reasons and use correct vocabulary. State your stance in one sentence and follow with one supporting reason using linking words (for example, because, so). Avoid unclear phrases and keep it concise.

例: Yes, I think it's a good idea to leave a spare key with a trusted neighbour because they can help you in emergencies or if you get locked out, which is more convenient and safer than hiding a key outside.

× I don't like to carry so many kids with me because I can easily get confused and I think that I'm going to waste also time just to figure out which key is used for what.

✓ I don't like to carry so many keys with me because I can easily get confused and I think that I'm also going to waste time just figuring out which key is for what.

The student wrote 'kids' instead of 'keys', which is a vocabulary error but functions like a singular/plural confusion; replace with the correct plural noun 'keys'. Also reorder 'waste also time' to 'also going to waste time' and use 'just figuring out' to make the verb form natural. Suggestion: replace incorrect nouns with the correct noun and place adverbs ('also') before the main verb phrase.

× In the past I did lost my kids few times where I actually put like a hairstyle on them so I'm sure I can always locate them whenever I lost them.

✓ In the past I lost my keys a few times because I actually put small tags on them so I'm sure I can always locate them when I lose them.

The phrase 'did lost' is incorrect; auxiliary 'did' with the past form is redundant. Use simple past 'lost'. 'Kids' should be 'keys' (wrong noun). 'Few times' needs the article 'a few times'. 'Whenever I lost them' mixes tenses; use present simple in time clauses for repeated events: 'when I lose them'. Suggestion: use 'lost' not 'did lost', correct noun to 'keys', and keep consistent tense in time clauses.

× I'm looking for them and it's also more convenient and probably in the future hopefully I can use my phone to.

✓ I'm looking for them and it's also more convenient, and probably in the future I hope I can use my phone to locate them.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'to'; add the verb 'locate' after 'to'. 'Hopefully I can' is better phrased as 'I hope I can' for clarity. Suggestion: complete the infinitive 'to locate' and restructure 'probably in the future I hope' for natural order.

× Not that quite often, but it did happen two times in the past.

✓ Not that often, but it happened twice in the past.

'Did happen' is acceptable but unnecessary; simpler past 'happened' is more natural. 'Two times' is better as 'twice'. Remove 'that' after 'Not' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use 'happened twice' for conciseness.

× So I really had to form a documents that extremely costly.

✓ So I really had to prepare some documents, which was extremely costly.

The original lacks grammatical agreement and proper structure: 'form a documents' mixes singular and plural and is unnatural. Use 'prepare some documents' and join the clause with a relative pronoun 'which' and correct verb 'was'. Suggestion: ensure noun-number agreement and use appropriate verbs and relative clauses.

× So I'm trying to be really careful not forget my fee.

✓ So I'm trying to be really careful not to forget my keys.

Missing 'to' after 'not' when followed by a verb: use 'not to forget'. Also 'fee' is the wrong word; context requires 'keys'. Suggestion: include 'to' in infinitive and use the correct noun.

× Oh, I always do electricity achieving my neighbor so she can help me open the door.

✓ Oh, I always ask my neighbor to help me with the electricity so she can help me open the door.

The phrase 'do electricity achieving my neighbor' is ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is 'ask my neighbor about the electricity' or 'ask my neighbor to help with the electricity'. Use 'ask' plus object and 'to' infinitive. Suggestion: use 'ask my neighbor to help me with the electricity' for clarity.

× I definitely believe that it's actually an excellent I need to leave you to your neighbors, especially to love them or if something happens so the member can actually come and help you for any type of situation.

✓ I definitely believe that it's an excellent idea to leave your keys with your neighbors, especially with those you trust, so they can come and help you in any kind of situation.

Sentence has many issues; focusing on modal/structure: 'an excellent I need to leave you to your neighbors' is incorrect. Replace with 'an excellent idea to leave your keys with your neighbors'. Use 'can' to indicate ability: 'so they can come and help you'. Also 'especially to love them' is wrong; use 'those you trust'. Suggestion: use 'idea to' + verb, and 'can' to show possibility.

× A fire and emergency you feel like just pass out not only if you just lost a cure for career.

✓ In case of a fire or emergency, or if you pass out, your neighbor can help; it's not just about losing your keys.

Original is fragmented and misuses prepositions and conjunctions. 'A fire and emergency' should be 'in case of a fire or emergency'. 'You feel like just pass out' should be 'if you pass out'. The latter clause 'not only if you just lost a cure for career' is unintelligible; interpret as 'not just about losing your keys'. Suggestion: use 'in case of' for emergencies and clear conditional clauses 'if you pass out'.

× especially to love them or if something happens so the member can actually come and help you for any type of situation.

✓ especially those you trust, so they can actually come and help you in any kind of situation.

Pronoun use 'the member' is unclear and incorrect; replace with 'they' referring to neighbors. 'to love them' is incorrect word choice; should be 'those you trust'. Preposition 'for any type of situation' should be 'in any kind of situation'. Suggestion: use clear referent pronouns and correct prepositions.