Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "most favorite"). Correct verb forms and article use.

例: My favourite food is dosa, a South Indian pancake made from fermented rice and lentils. In addition, I like it because the fermentation makes it easier to digest and supports gut health, which helps maintain my immunity.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence about childhood preferences, use past tense consistently, and give one or two specific examples with a linking phrase. Fix vague phrases and pronunciation of food names in spelling. Limit to up to 5 sentences.

例: When I was young, I loved sweet and fried treats, especially cakes, pastries and Indian street snacks like golgappas. However, as I grew older I changed my diet because I became more health-conscious and now avoid oily foods.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence saying yes, then contrast seasons using linking words (e.g., "in contrast"). Specify what "pranas" means or use a known dish. Keep sentences grammatically correct and avoid vague phrases like "some sort of."

例: Yes, I eat differently by season. For example, in summer I usually eat light meals such as salads, cold soups and fresh fruit juices to stay refreshed, while in winter I prefer hot, hearty dishes like lentil stews and spiced soups that warm me up.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence (Yes/No) and use past vs present contrast with linking words (e.g., "however," "now"). Correct grammar (tense, articles) and avoid invented words. Give one concrete example of current favourite foods and a reason.

例: Yes, my preferences have changed. As a child I mostly ate sweets and fried snacks, but now I prefer salads, vegetable soups and smoothies because I want to improve my gut health and boost my immunity.

× I enjoy various cuisines such as South Indian, Italian, and Chinese, but my most favorite food is dosa that is made of fermented rice.

✓ I enjoy various cuisines such as South Indian, Italian, and Chinese, but my favorite food is dosa, which is made from fermented rice.

Using 'most favorite' is incorrect because 'favorite' is an absolute adjective and does not take comparative forms; use 'favorite'. Also replace 'that is made of fermented rice' with 'which is made from fermented rice' for natural, correct relative clause and correct preposition for ingredients. Suggestion: Use 'favorite' alone and 'made from' for ingredients, and use a non-restrictive relative clause with 'which' here.

× It's quite healthy for gut health and boost your immunity.

✓ It's quite good for gut health and boosts your immunity.

Mixing noun phrases and verbs: 'healthy for gut health' is repetitive; use 'good for gut health'. Subject-verb agreement: 'boost' should be 'boosts' to match singular subject 'It'. Suggestion: Use concise adjective phrases and match verb to subject: 'It boosts your immunity.'

× I'm quite a healthy person nowadays working on my food schedule.

✓ I'm quite a healthy person nowadays and I am working on my food schedule.

Run-on/fragment due to missing conjunction and subject on second clause. Add 'and I am' to join ideas and provide a clear subject for the second verb. Suggestion: Use explicit subject and conjunctions when connecting two independent clauses.

× In my childhood, I was quite a foodie person, used to love desserts such as cakes, pastries, always used to eat oily food, Indian snacks such as golgappas, tikis, mosas which are really bad for health.

✓ In my childhood, I was quite a foodie; I used to love desserts such as cakes and pastries and used to eat oily food and Indian snacks such as golgappas, tikki, and momos, which were really bad for my health.

Tense and sequencing: 'used to' is correct for past habits but sentence lacked conjunctions and commas; 'tikis, mosas' are likely incorrect spellings—use 'tikki' and 'momos' or similar. Also 'which are really bad for health' should be 'which were really bad for my health' to match past timeframe. Suggestion: Use 'used to' consistently, correct snack names, and match the tense to past ('were' and 'my health').

× But now it's quite different. I'm more of health.

✓ But now it's quite different. I'm more health-conscious.

'More of health' is ungrammatical; use the adjective 'health-conscious' to describe someone concerned with health. Suggestion: Use established adjective forms like 'health-conscious' rather than literal constructions.

× In summers I prefer light food such as salads, soups and some sort of juices which keep me refreshed and active throughout the day.

✓ In summer I prefer light foods such as salads, soups, and kinds of juice that keep me refreshed and active throughout the day.

Use 'in summer' (or 'in the summer') rather than 'in summers' for general seasonal preference. Also 'light food' should be plural 'light foods' or 'light food' as an uncountable; 'some sort of juices' is awkward—use 'kinds of juice' or 'juices'. Suggestion: Use correct seasonal preposition and natural collocations like 'in summer' and 'juices' or 'kinds of juice'.

× However, in winters I prefer hot food and such as pranas that are really good for health in winters.

✓ However, in winter I prefer hot foods, such as parathas, which are really good for health in winter.

Use 'in winter' not 'in winters'; 'hot food and such as pranas' is ungrammatical—use 'hot foods such as...' Also 'pranas' seems to be a misspelling; likely 'parathas'. Match singular/plural and seasonal phrase consistently. Suggestion: Use 'in winter' and correct food names and grammar: 'hot foods such as parathas.'

× My mother used to make it when I was a child.

✓ My mother used to make them when I was a child.

Pronoun agreement: 'it' refers to plural 'parathas' or 'foods' so use 'them'. 'Used to make' correctly indicates past habit; ensure pronoun number matches. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents.

× Earlier I was stick to desserts and only foods especially the Indian snacks such as stickies, mosas which are quite bad for your health.

✓ Earlier I was stuck on desserts and snack foods, especially Indian snacks such as chaat and momos, which are quite bad for your health.

'was stick to' is incorrect; use 'was stuck on' or 'used to be fond of'. 'only foods' is unclear; 'snack foods' or 'snacks' is better. Correct snack names and punctuation; 'mosas' should be 'momos' or 'puchkas/chaat' depending on intended item. Suggestion: Use 'stuck on' or 'fond of' for preferences and correct the food names and plural forms.

× However now I'm health conscious, focused more on my immunity, wanted to boost my gut health.

✓ However, now I'm health-conscious and more focused on my immunity; I want to boost my gut health.

Tense and form inconsistency: 'wanted' is past while context is present; use 'want' to match current state. Also need conjunctions and hyphen for 'health-conscious'. Suggestion: Keep present-tense consistency when describing current habits and use connecting words for clarity.

× Always eat salads, juices and soups which amariat my health.

✓ I always eat salads, juices, and soups which improve my health.

Sentence fragment: missing subject 'I'. 'amariat' is not an English word—likely meant 'improve' or 'benefit'. Use 'improve my health' for clarity. Suggestion: Include subjects for verbs and use correct vocabulary like 'improve' or 'benefit'.